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Chapter 2

The Story The Authors

Xerxes Slapped Sophocles. "Dammit Man, We Need You Here!" Sophocles Mumbled Something About Ebert's Bowels And Turned Over, Snuggling Closer To His Blanket. Jesse

"Them boyz is gett'n a might testy" thought Vashondra, "Ah knows just what they need." She reached into her ledgedary doo and pulled out an enormous shaker and with one hand on the wheel, saw that everyone in the big S Class Mercedes has a perfectly mixed martini. Immediately, Sophocles and Xerxes slumpped into somnolence. As quiet returned to the backseat, Henri Paul began to fidgit, it was only 15 km to Paris he hoped that Vashondra would trust him enough to accept the directions he was going to give to the Ritz Hotel. It was vital she trust his word. Iggie

She shouted: "I hate your underwear!It eats oranges and porridge and drinks peanuts! It terrorises orange purplecakes!go away, foul gateux of the night!" Mark H

Xerxes started to eat poridge for its underwear and screamed: "lisejfoksejr iwjelrjskdfjlkdsjfklsjf lsjdflksdlkkkkj; Es; lkgshfgjs; lfgjs nls; lfkgsdf gjslkg jlskjgskf Oranges stink!

..." Sometimes Xerxes would go into epileptic fits. none

but who cares? said the bloated lady about to give birth. take me to a hospital, and soon she demanded stomping foot to floor with seismic reverberations. labor intensive am i. to breath in and breath out, pray huff and push and huff and push. yes such is my mantra. the mantra of life giving new life and so on and so forth. yes. flower

"Wait!" screamed Janice. "I'm about to give birth to another plot complication!" none

Luckily, It Was Quite A Short Birth. Her Water Broke Almost Immediately, Hilariously Splashing Everyone Else In A Clever Sight Gag. A Couple Minutes Later And POP! Out Came The Bouncing Baby.. Wait.. What The Hell Is It? My God! It's Horrible! It's... Jesse

a lot of piffle. Selwin

Hello i am xerxes. Mh

Xerxes ate oranges and shouted...Ok! Who's been eating beans? This is mark if you wanted to know and if you didn't well it's tough!

He was obviously suffering from tourette's. none

It was likely a result of a combination of a shallow gene pool, the Prestone he continuously rubbed into his pompadour and scalp and (most importantly) the rancid oatmeal he ate while in his underwear. Xerxes recovered from his brief and furious mental lapse and discovered where he was. He was being hustled onto a Eurotrain headed for Paris. Their new companion Henri Paul was nervously chewing his lip and staring out of the window. Vashondra sat across from Xerxes and was busily tidying her beehive to its usual mammoth porportions -- the interior of the train was thick with hairspray fumes. Junie was here too with nasty navy blue stiches running from her armit to her shoulder -- Xerxes made a mental note to ask her about them once he was dressed and the porridge was cleaned out of his underwear. Occaisionally, the world would blur and run together and he would feel the urge to shriek, dance and scream about people named Len and Seth -- something about a passport and.... homicide.... The train sped to its destination... Paris. Elwood T Leary

But it derailed and crashed into a steel reinforced pylon a la Princess Di before it reached the city of lights. Xerxes died on impact. Junie suffered yet another whiplash, whereas Vashondra was decapitated and her beehived head flew off onto the back of a passing vegetable truck. Out of the wreckage, the only survivor emerged... Amanda Jayne

Kate awoke with a shock. It was one of those bizarre moments when you don't realize that you were asleep... reality and dream meld and merge into fantasy, a momentary world apart. "Vashondra, what the hell did you put in those martinis?" Kate almost shouted, "you trying to preserve us like vanilla beans, sweetheart?" "Honey yo don't know thuh half of it!" Vanshondra laughed as she wheeled the big Merc into Place Vendome. The little man between them stirred and then gazed awestruck as they pulled into the forecourt of the Ritz Hotel. "I cannot believe ‘sis you have found it but how? " marveled Henri Paul. Vanshondra cackled at the little man’s amazement. Of course she knew the Ritz . It had once been her home but that is another plot line. "Pleez I must meet my lady…. you will not leave wis mon voiture will you not?" prattled a clearly nervous Henri Paul. " Don you fret l’ll darl’n I’ll meet you at the back door in 20 min, bye y’all " boomed Vashondra as Kate let the little man out. "Let’s get rid of these dorks in the backseat right now while we’re at it.’ sneered Kate. Vashndra wheeled the big Mercedes into the Rue Cambon and motored up to the infamous Back Door of the Ritz. Ignacious

The Story	The Authors
Xerxes Slapped Sophocles. "Dammit Man, We Need You Here!" Sophocles Mumbled Something About Ebert's Bowels And Turned Over, Snuggling Closer To His Blanket.	Jesse
"Them boyz is gett'n a might testy" thought Vashondra, "Ah knows just what they need." She reached into her ledgedary doo and pulled out an enormous shaker and with one hand on the wheel, saw that everyone in the big S Class Mercedes has a perfectly mixed martini. Immediately, Sophocles and Xerxes slumpped into somnolence. As quiet returned to the backseat, Henri Paul began to fidgit, it was only 15 km to Paris he hoped that Vashondra would trust him enough to accept the directions he was going to give to the Ritz Hotel. It was vital she trust his word.	Iggie
She shouted: "I hate your underwear!It eats oranges and porridge and drinks peanuts! It terrorises orange purplecakes!go away, foul gateux of the night!"	Mark H
Xerxes started to eat poridge for its underwear and screamed: "lisejfoksejr iwjelrjskdfjlkdsjfklsjf lsjdflksdlkkkkj; Es; lkgshfgjs; lfgjs nls; lfkgsdf gjslkg jlskjgskf	Oranges stink!
..." Sometimes Xerxes would go into epileptic fits.	none
but who cares? said the bloated lady about to give birth. take me to a hospital, and soon she demanded stomping foot to floor with seismic reverberations. labor intensive am i. to breath in and breath out, pray huff and push and huff and push. yes such is my mantra. the mantra of life giving new life and so on and so forth. yes.	flower
"Wait!" screamed Janice. "I'm about to give birth to another plot complication!"	none
Luckily, It Was Quite A Short Birth. Her Water Broke Almost Immediately, Hilariously Splashing Everyone Else In A Clever Sight Gag. A Couple Minutes Later And POP! Out Came The Bouncing Baby.. Wait.. What The Hell Is It? My God! It's Horrible! It's...	Jesse
a lot of piffle.	Selwin
Hello i am xerxes.	Mh
Xerxes ate oranges and shouted...Ok! Who's been eating beans?	This is mark if you wanted to know and if you didn't well it's tough!
He was obviously suffering from tourette's.	none
It was likely a result of a combination of a shallow gene pool, the Prestone he continuously rubbed into his pompadour and scalp and (most importantly) the rancid oatmeal he ate while in his underwear. Xerxes recovered from his brief and furious mental lapse and discovered where he was. He was being hustled onto a Eurotrain headed for Paris. Their new companion Henri Paul was nervously chewing his lip and staring out of the window. Vashondra sat across from Xerxes and was busily tidying her beehive to its usual mammoth porportions -- the interior of the train was thick with hairspray fumes. Junie was here too with nasty navy blue stiches running from her armit to her shoulder -- Xerxes made a mental note to ask her about them once he was dressed and the porridge was cleaned out of his underwear. Occaisionally, the world would blur and run together and he would feel the urge to shriek, dance and scream about people named Len and Seth -- something about a passport and.... homicide.... The train sped to its destination... Paris.	Elwood T Leary
But it derailed and crashed into a steel reinforced pylon a la Princess Di before it reached the city of lights. Xerxes died on impact. Junie suffered yet another whiplash, whereas Vashondra was decapitated and her beehived head flew off onto the back of a passing vegetable truck. Out of the wreckage, the only survivor emerged...	Amanda Jayne
Kate awoke with a shock. It was one of those bizarre moments when you don't realize that you were asleep... reality and dream meld and merge into fantasy, a momentary world apart. "Vashondra, what the hell did you put in those martinis?" Kate almost shouted, "you trying to preserve us like vanilla beans, sweetheart?" "Honey yo don't know thuh half of it!" Vanshondra laughed as she wheeled the big Merc into Place Vendome. The little man between them stirred and then gazed awestruck as they pulled into the forecourt of the Ritz Hotel. "I cannot believe ‘sis you have found it but how? " marveled Henri Paul. Vanshondra cackled at the little man’s amazement. Of course she knew the Ritz . It had once been her home but that is another plot line. "Pleez I must meet my lady…. you will not leave wis mon voiture will you not?" prattled a clearly nervous Henri Paul. " Don you fret l’ll darl’n I’ll meet you at the back door in 20 min, bye y’all " boomed Vashondra as Kate let the little man out. "Let’s get rid of these dorks in the backseat right now while we’re at it.’ sneered Kate. Vashndra wheeled the big Mercedes into the Rue Cambon and motored up to the infamous Back Door of the Ritz.	Ignacious

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