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Chapter 2

The Story The Authors

A glowing angel surrounded by teensy cherubs converged upon them. "Dear children, you were not dreaming. You are, in fact, dead. Kaput. You are now mere spirits of the great, vast Nada'ness. And you should be glad, for you this is a move upwards from the Nonsensical Boring'ness you inhabited to a higher plane of existance: the Plane of the Has Been's. Take care, dear children, and GET OVER IT!" The angel gathered up her consorts and faded out of view. Jesse

"Well, that was strange," Junie remarked as the angel floated away in the distance, narrowly missing the Eiffel Tower. Xerxes Thoughtfully scratched his chin (which was slick with Prestone)and said, almost to himself: "Yesss.... it almost seems like someone is trying to kill us..." "You mean someone besides Sir Selwin Quicksand?" Kate blurted around a martini glass. Xerxes nodded, hand slipping off his chin and bouncing off the side of his head. "Yes, there is now a greater evil out there and it's after us." Henri Paul danced imaptiently as the overgroomed group stood and pondered great evils in cherub's clothing. "We must 'urry! My destinee whaits beyond le porte!!" He shrieked. Vashondra pushed the back door of the Ritz open and the groups tepped inside. Elwood T Leary

A Smarmy Looking French Man In A Suit Stood Behind The Expansive Front Desk. Xerxes Dispatched Of Him Rather Quickly. Although He Didn't Like To Kill, It Just Felt Plain Good To Kill French People. Walking Around The Desk, He Kicked The Corpse For Good Measure. "Which Keys Will We Need ?" He Asked, Absently Stomping On The Dead Man's Ribs. "No Need.. When You've Got THIS!" Kate Brandished The Mortar She Had Found Somewhere Along The Way. Xerxes Shrugged, And The Party Moved To Enter The Elevator. Jesse

Kate despaired. none

While they waited for the elevator the thought of another fruitless bloodbath like the one at the sorority house seemed somehow boring. No, this time it was different. Hanging back, Kate grabbed Vanshondra by her doo and yanked her sharply out of the elevator just at the doors closed. All hell broke loose inside but no one could find the right button as the car now moved aloft, stopping at every floor. Their leaders were gone Xerxes and Sophecles were alone and armed to the teeth. There was no one to tell them what to do so they just rode until all the little lights were extinguished. Vashondra squawked, "Yo mah doo!" Kate wheeled her around and they headed for the infamous back door of Ritz and where they immediately encountered Henri Paul helping an exceptionally beautiful woman into the back of the Mercedes. They piled into the back with her. She screamed, in clipped tones, "Gawd are you terrorists?" The little dark man who was in the car before she entered sank back into one corner in fright. "Don’t you worry yo’self hohney" cooed Vashondra, "yo with the M Squad… the Martini Squad and we is shaken some big time" "Oh smashing I love Martinis, buckets and buckets of Martinis…. Oh such fun, such fun we shall have all such fun!" tittered the beauty, "My name’s Di what’s yours?" Henri Paul slid behind the wheel and the big Mercedes hurtled down the Rue Cambon. Charles

Meanwhile, In The Elevator, Sophocles Was Sitting In The Corner Crying To Himself While Xerxes Paced In What Little Available Space There Was. "Thinking They Can Just Abandon Us.. Dump Us Like So Many Other Characters.. Use Us For A Bit, Then Just Dispose Of Us When Somebody Wants The Plot To Take A Different Path.. And Dammit, I Wanted Another Fruitless Bloodbath, Whatever The Heck That Is!" Xerxes Was Pissed. "Get Up, You Moron.. We've Got Some Main Character Hiney To Kick! This Is Gonna Be For Everybody Who's Ever Been Dumped In A Story!" A Few Swift Kicks To The Liver Convinced Sophocles To Get Up And See His Point Of View. With A Shaking Hand, Xerxes Pressed The Shiny Red Button Marked "Parking". Downwards Lay A New Car, And A New Subplot. Jesse

Bolting from the elevator in a testosterone fog, Xerxes and Sophocles attacked the first vehicle they saw. It was a white Fiat Uno. A tin box if ever there was one. It had none of the luxury features of Xerxes Izuzu back home although it did have cup holders. Hot wiring the ignition they clattered out into the Paris night and just caught a very distant view of the Mercedes as it turned toward the Seine and the Pont d'Alma and its date with destiny. Meanwhile in the back seat the party was raging as Henri Paul, a Martini in one hand, picked up speed. Still, the little white Fiat was gaining surprisingly quickly. Iggie

The Story	The Authors
A glowing angel surrounded by teensy cherubs converged upon them. "Dear children, you were not dreaming. You are, in fact, dead. Kaput. You are now mere spirits of the great, vast Nada'ness. And you should be glad, for you this is a move upwards from the Nonsensical Boring'ness you inhabited to a higher plane of existance: the Plane of the Has Been's. Take care, dear children, and GET OVER IT!" The angel gathered up her consorts and faded out of view.	Jesse
"Well, that was strange," Junie remarked as the angel floated away in the distance, narrowly missing the Eiffel Tower. Xerxes Thoughtfully scratched his chin (which was slick with Prestone)and said, almost to himself: "Yesss.... it almost seems like someone is trying to kill us..." "You mean someone besides Sir Selwin Quicksand?" Kate blurted around a martini glass. Xerxes nodded, hand slipping off his chin and bouncing off the side of his head. "Yes, there is now a greater evil out there and it's after us." Henri Paul danced imaptiently as the overgroomed group stood and pondered great evils in cherub's clothing. "We must 'urry! My destinee whaits beyond le porte!!" He shrieked. Vashondra pushed the back door of the Ritz open and the groups tepped inside.	Elwood T Leary
A Smarmy Looking French Man In A Suit Stood Behind The Expansive Front Desk. Xerxes Dispatched Of Him Rather Quickly. Although He Didn't Like To Kill, It Just Felt Plain Good To Kill French People. Walking Around The Desk, He Kicked The Corpse For Good Measure. "Which Keys Will We Need ?" He Asked, Absently Stomping On The Dead Man's Ribs. "No Need.. When You've Got THIS!" Kate Brandished The Mortar She Had Found Somewhere Along The Way. Xerxes Shrugged, And The Party Moved To Enter The Elevator.	Jesse
Kate despaired.	none
While they waited for the elevator the thought of another fruitless bloodbath like the one at the sorority house seemed somehow boring. No, this time it was different. Hanging back, Kate grabbed Vanshondra by her doo and yanked her sharply out of the elevator just at the doors closed. All hell broke loose inside but no one could find the right button as the car now moved aloft, stopping at every floor. Their leaders were gone Xerxes and Sophecles were alone and armed to the teeth. There was no one to tell them what to do so they just rode until all the little lights were extinguished. Vashondra squawked, "Yo mah doo!" Kate wheeled her around and they headed for the infamous back door of Ritz and where they immediately encountered Henri Paul helping an exceptionally beautiful woman into the back of the Mercedes. They piled into the back with her. She screamed, in clipped tones, "Gawd are you terrorists?" The little dark man who was in the car before she entered sank back into one corner in fright. "Don’t you worry yo’self hohney" cooed Vashondra, "yo with the M Squad… the Martini Squad and we is shaken some big time" "Oh smashing I love Martinis, buckets and buckets of Martinis…. Oh such fun, such fun we shall have all such fun!" tittered the beauty, "My name’s Di what’s yours?" Henri Paul slid behind the wheel and the big Mercedes hurtled down the Rue Cambon.	Charles
Meanwhile, In The Elevator, Sophocles Was Sitting In The Corner Crying To Himself While Xerxes Paced In What Little Available Space There Was. "Thinking They Can Just Abandon Us.. Dump Us Like So Many Other Characters.. Use Us For A Bit, Then Just Dispose Of Us When Somebody Wants The Plot To Take A Different Path.. And Dammit, I Wanted Another Fruitless Bloodbath, Whatever The Heck That Is!" Xerxes Was Pissed. "Get Up, You Moron.. We've Got Some Main Character Hiney To Kick! This Is Gonna Be For Everybody Who's Ever Been Dumped In A Story!" A Few Swift Kicks To The Liver Convinced Sophocles To Get Up And See His Point Of View. With A Shaking Hand, Xerxes Pressed The Shiny Red Button Marked "Parking". Downwards Lay A New Car, And A New Subplot.	Jesse
Bolting from the elevator in a testosterone fog, Xerxes and Sophocles attacked the first vehicle they saw. It was a white Fiat Uno. A tin box if ever there was one. It had none of the luxury features of Xerxes Izuzu back home although it did have cup holders. Hot wiring the ignition they clattered out into the Paris night and just caught a very distant view of the Mercedes as it turned toward the Seine and the Pont d'Alma and its date with destiny. Meanwhile in the back seat the party was raging as Henri Paul, a Martini in one hand, picked up speed. Still, the little white Fiat was gaining surprisingly quickly.	Iggie

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