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Chapter 5

The Story The Authors

Read the story dagnabit, the Grandma's dead, done, as if a dodo. She's an exparent, a moribund matron! Move on! Pod

"No way," said Janice, the original imort. "No one dies here in La-La Land." Fluffy, Vashondra, Dianne, Mulajoo, and Zsa Zsa Gabor all nodded in agreement. think again

Kate Had Always Hated Zombies. Rotting Mockeries Of The Human Form, Vile Creatures Of Pure Instinct. They Killed Her Parents. Then Her Parents Had Come Back, And tried To Kill Her. If That Isn't Traumatizing, I Don't Know What Is. Luckily, Kate Is A Survivor. Using Only Common Household Objects, She Was Able To Hold Off The Zombie Swarms Until Help Arrived. And Now, Here She Was, Partnered Up With Two Backwoods Hicks With Funky Names, Packing Weaponry That Shouldn't Have Been In A Nonexistant Trunk, And Preparing To Kick Some College Girl Hiney. Life's Funny Sometimes. Laminator

Meanwhile, I set off on a journey to find the meaning of life. I began by consulting the oracle... none

The oracle told me to seek my destiny in the Northlands, where it said the seeds of time are stored. There, I may find a vital clue to that which I sought. And so I departed immediately. Cain F.

... who with sensitivity and forethought asked me to stop and return headlong into the story ignoring the piffle. There is a tale to be told and we're just inside the door at the bottom of the stairs.... Ignacious

Now, how shall I get there, I thought. Llamas were out of the question, so I thought about Arabian camels. A friend of mine, told me they can go 100 to the gallon. But the humps frightened me. And they spit too much. I decided on a dune buggy... Ollie Fitzgerald

Fiffles were tasty treats. I packed some with me on my trip. lonnie

... who with sensitivity and forethought asked me to stop and return headlong into the story ignoring the piffle. There is a tale to be told and we're just inside the door at the bottom of the stairs.... Ignacious

"Goddamn Life," Kate Thought To Herself. "One Minute You're Having Fun Making Out On A Trampoline With A Beautiful Girl, The Next She's Moving To Japan For Eleven Months. Kinda Makes A Guy Bitter." Kate Needed To Talk To Her Hypnotist Again. Jesse

And he walked into a door. "Lovely," said Senor Sanchez. "I think my vision is going." "Where is it going to?" asked his sidekick, Pina Chiquita. Senor grimaced at Pina Chiquita and shouted, "Oh you shaddup!" in the most stereotypical voice he could muster. "You a funny man," said Pina. "Le's go get into troubles, mi amigo." charo ay-ay-aye

Sanchez Was Getting Rather Sick Of Chiquita's Ideas Of Fun, But He Loved Him Just The Same, So They Continued. Why Two Japanese Businessmen Should Dress Up And Act Like Stereotypical Mexicans He Would Never Know. Chiquita Seemed To Get Off On It Though. Jesse

Sophocles, however, was less tolerant so he shot them all. "You idiot!" Xerxes scolded. "Don't waste your ammo on those losers. Come on, we've got a job to do." Xerxes and Sophocles helped Kate back to her feet and brushed the cat litter off of her. Miraculously, no one in the sorority house heard all the noise Kate made when she slipped on the cat food. Luckily for the murderous trio, there had been a raging party that night at the sororiy house and everyone was now passed out drunk in there beds. Kate scooped up her uzi and led the two men up the stairs. cuddles

At The Top Of The Stairs They Ran Into Two Japanese Men In Sombreros And Full Mexican Regalia. Xerxes Dispatched Them Rather Quickly With A Couple Shots From His Bolt Action Shotgun. Hoping To Get In On Some Action Sophocles Loosed A Grenade From The Optional Attachment On His AK-47, But It Was Overkill. The Two Enigmatic Men Were Already Dead, And The Grenade Bounced Harmlessly Off The Wall. "Crap, Sophocles, What The Hell Are You Doing?!?" Kate Screamed, And Dived For Cover, Taking Xerxes Down With Her. Jesse

Down, down, deep into the depths of her psyche they plunged, exploring various levels of her subconscious. There they met the man who wanted to bring a dead fly to life by singing "Raindrops are falling on my head... But that dont mean this fly is truly dead ... and nothing seems to fit.... So, I'll just bump up the mind of this girl......". And when she heard that her head started spinning. In that whirl of confusion she felt a sharp pain in the back of wer wead and snapped back to consciousness. Arvind

The Story	The Authors
Read the story dagnabit, the Grandma's dead, done, as if a dodo. She's an exparent, a moribund matron! Move on!	Pod
"No way," said Janice, the original imort. "No one dies here in La-La Land." Fluffy, Vashondra, Dianne, Mulajoo, and Zsa Zsa Gabor all nodded in agreement.	think again
Kate Had Always Hated Zombies. Rotting Mockeries Of The Human Form, Vile Creatures Of Pure Instinct. They Killed Her Parents. Then Her Parents Had Come Back, And tried To Kill Her. If That Isn't Traumatizing, I Don't Know What Is. Luckily, Kate Is A Survivor. Using Only Common Household Objects, She Was Able To Hold Off The Zombie Swarms Until Help Arrived. And Now, Here She Was, Partnered Up With Two Backwoods Hicks With Funky Names, Packing Weaponry That Shouldn't Have Been In A Nonexistant Trunk, And Preparing To Kick Some College Girl Hiney. Life's Funny Sometimes.	Laminator
Meanwhile, I set off on a journey to find the meaning of life. I began by consulting the oracle...	none
The oracle told me to seek my destiny in the Northlands, where it said the seeds of time are stored. There, I may find a vital clue to that which I sought. And so I departed immediately.	Cain F.
... who with sensitivity and forethought asked me to stop and return headlong into the story ignoring the piffle. There is a tale to be told and we're just inside the door at the bottom of the stairs....	Ignacious
Now, how shall I get there, I thought. Llamas were out of the question, so I thought about Arabian camels. A friend of mine, told me they can go 100 to the gallon. But the humps frightened me. And they spit too much. I decided on a dune buggy...	Ollie Fitzgerald
Fiffles were tasty treats. I packed some with me on my trip.	lonnie
... who with sensitivity and forethought asked me to stop and return headlong into the story ignoring the piffle. There is a tale to be told and we're just inside the door at the bottom of the stairs....	Ignacious
"Goddamn Life," Kate Thought To Herself. "One Minute You're Having Fun Making Out On A Trampoline With A Beautiful Girl, The Next She's Moving To Japan For Eleven Months. Kinda Makes A Guy Bitter." Kate Needed To Talk To Her Hypnotist Again.	Jesse
And he walked into a door. "Lovely," said Senor Sanchez. "I think my vision is going." "Where is it going to?" asked his sidekick, Pina Chiquita. Senor grimaced at Pina Chiquita and shouted, "Oh you shaddup!" in the most stereotypical voice he could muster. "You a funny man," said Pina. "Le's go get into troubles, mi amigo."	charo ay-ay-aye
Sanchez Was Getting Rather Sick Of Chiquita's Ideas Of Fun, But He Loved Him Just The Same, So They Continued. Why Two Japanese Businessmen Should Dress Up And Act Like Stereotypical Mexicans He Would Never Know. Chiquita Seemed To Get Off On It Though.	Jesse
Sophocles, however, was less tolerant so he shot them all. "You idiot!" Xerxes scolded. "Don't waste your ammo on those losers. Come on, we've got a job to do." Xerxes and Sophocles helped Kate back to her feet and brushed the cat litter off of her. Miraculously, no one in the sorority house heard all the noise Kate made when she slipped on the cat food. Luckily for the murderous trio, there had been a raging party that night at the sororiy house and everyone was now passed out drunk in there beds. Kate scooped up her uzi and led the two men up the stairs.	cuddles
At The Top Of The Stairs They Ran Into Two Japanese Men In Sombreros And Full Mexican Regalia. Xerxes Dispatched Them Rather Quickly With A Couple Shots From His Bolt Action Shotgun. Hoping To Get In On Some Action Sophocles Loosed A Grenade From The Optional Attachment On His AK-47, But It Was Overkill. The Two Enigmatic Men Were Already Dead, And The Grenade Bounced Harmlessly Off The Wall. "Crap, Sophocles, What The Hell Are You Doing?!?" Kate Screamed, And Dived For Cover, Taking Xerxes Down With Her.	Jesse
Down, down, deep into the depths of her psyche they plunged, exploring various levels of her subconscious. There they met the man who wanted to bring a dead fly to life by singing "Raindrops are falling on my head... But that dont mean this fly is truly dead ... and nothing seems to fit.... So, I'll just bump up the mind of this girl......". And when she heard that her head started spinning. In that whirl of confusion she felt a sharp pain in the back of wer wead and snapped back to consciousness.	Arvind

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