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Chapter 3

     The Story The Authors
But why did he say that, she wondered. Shaw was twisting and turning like a thresher shark in a fine filament net. But now it seemed to the girl from Spiddal that a new sense of Irishness was being forged. She remembered Stephen Dedalus prayer "forge .... something something ... uncreated conscience of my race" What utter nonsense she used to think that, but now? She remembered that night in the GPO when she met the man from God knows where, his strange, haunted look, his gentle caresses and passionate kisses. The man from God knows where
Suddenly it came to her as the stench of Hai Karate hit the air, it was...him! none
Her Feminine Instincts Went Wild! Leaping Over The Desk, She Brazenly Pulled On His Tie And Jammed His Head Into The Paper Shredder. Making Various Sounds Of Pleasure To Drown Out His Sounds Of Mortal Pain, She Proceeded To Turn His Once Beautiful Face Into Long Pulpy Strands Of Skin, With Which Her Cat liked Playing With. Jesse
A huge fist came down on Jesse, smashing her into a mass of pulpy fiction. Deb screamed in her trademark falsetto, hitting a high C#, before the fist opened into a flat palm that slapped her across to the next continent. The man from who the hell cares tried to run from the scene, but the giant hand simply placed its index finger on the guy's head and drove him into the ground like a pile driver. get a clue
"Hmm" he thought slowly. All this thoughts were like that. Slow but not measured. Again he paused and leaned back on her writhing body. She wasn't very comfortable. "Quite lumpy," he thought. "Is that you Carmelita Sundae?" came a voice from behind the smoke of the melting plain paper fax machine. He froze. His socks adhered to the frosty concrete of the deck of the pile driver. "Oh darn.." he sighed at the thought of another two days spent weaving polyester wool into his aging pedal coverings. "I just hate this." Cataplexy
The next morning he awoke to the sound of Mr. Crickett, the mailman, throwing up in his driveway. denise denephis
For forty-five minutes the retching echoed off the imposing brownstones which lined the street leading to the seminary. The Very Reverend Doctor Malamute Sledrunner had a passion for ripe stilton which Crickett delivered every fortnight. As bishop in charge of the seminary, Sledrunner, tried his best to remain aloof but the vomit encrusting his stoop had begun to interfear with the operation of the door to the servants entrance where the mail was delivered. Crickett would have to be delt with. Addled
Even Grandma Pearl would agree that a situation like this could not go on. Reverend Sledrunner often fantasised about Grandma Pearl and really did not know why. He had only met her once, when he was a fey, very young boy at the orphenage and the matron had brought Grandma Pearl to the dormatory to meet him. At first the large elderly women frightened him. The lingering aroma of stilton seemed to infuse her vast petticoats. Sledrunner trembled - yet he was transfixed as her huge wizzened hands tied a locket to his nether regions. Hemingway
He wore it there for many weeks. During that time, he and Pearl would meet secretly and she would abuse him verbally. Finally, at their last rendezvous, she beat him mercilessly, removed the locket and vanished into the night. The Very Reverend Sledrunner thought he would never see her again. And now here she was before him. He smiled sheepishly. "Do you have the locket?" he whispered to Grandma Pearl. He had no idea that at this very moment, Vashondra Du Lunchenette had the locket safely tucked into her 3 foot high strawberry blonde beehive and, along with her companions Tiki, Bitzy and Fluffy, was quickly making her way to the Canadian border. Sledrunner's question sent Grandma Pearl into a fit of rage and she beat him mercilessly. As he lay on the floor, nearly dead, he realized that he loved Grandma Pearl in a way that he had never loved any other woman. Blood and bone fragments sputtered out his mouth as he tried to express his feelings for her, but Grandma Pearl just stepped over his broken body and left him there to die. cuddles

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