Chapter 3
| The Story | The Authors |
|---|---|
| Ann shrugged. She said, "Well, now that that's over with, let's go find the thieves who stole Granny's locket!" "Amen!" replied Grandma Pearl. She added, "But cain one of youze help an' ol' laydeh outta dis seatbelt contraption? Ah think mah corset's caught or sumthin', dagnabit." Ann giggled and helped Grandma Pearl. Meanwhile, Mary inspected one of the small hayish piles more closely. "Hmm," she said, pinching her nose. "Still looks fresh. They must be nearby." Ann suddenly had a thought. She asked, "We can cover more ground if we split up and search the block, or we can search together. Any thoughts, people?" | |
| "I've got a better idea" Mary piped up, "I reckon the pohlice are searching for this here borrowed truck already, let's let them find the no good thieves. Gimme your fan Granny." Mary took the fan and began scraping up piles of fresh dung and scattering them about the stolen postal truck. "Granny go fetch some empty vodka bottles from behind this no good liquor store," she ordered. "I get it," Annie said with a grin, "The police will discover the evidence and figure it was the lardo and his two-bit ho friends that stole the truck." "Wooowee" the girls heard Granny call in her unmistakeable screechy voice, from behind the store. There sat Granny on a diplated dirty matress in between her new found friends who were busily filling bottles from a steamy rickety contraption. "Wesa done found da promise land" she cried as handed each of the girls a half filled tumbler of clear liquid. "Desa ma garden angels" Granny announced pointing at the two men, "dis here is Win and him der is Win an dey shore does make some tasty hooch." | |
| But, unbeknownst to granny she had swallowed a worm at the bottom of the bottle she began to go into an hallucinative trance...................................... Colors blending, giant radishes chasing her, logico legos, now what? Grann...RANNY...Gra...grann...Mary's voice was strange as it echoed from the belly of a whale..... | |
| I could hear her faint cries from beneath it's wet, leathery skin. "Please... it smells in here!" | |
| Vashondra dropped her last quarter into the vibro-matic hoping it would put her to sleep. There is only so far you can travel on the back of an elephant with diarreah. Fluffy was plumb wore out, but greatfully he had volunteered to sleep on the floor of the two-bit motel she had rented. Bitzy was snoring away on the elevated twin bed and Vashondra lay awake worrying about the locket, Tiki and her purpose in life. Still restless and thirsty she crept out on the fire escape. "There must be an all-night beautician that could poof up my hive." | |
| But, today is another day. A day that will bring new horizons as I venture west to that forsaken land. A land of glitz and glamor on the surface of a tired, doomed people. As I walk among them, I will try to not stand out as an outsider, but adapt to their pretentious ways. I will thrive on their spoils as a vulture would feast on the stringy meat of a forgotton beast. Yes, today will be a new day. | |
| Yet I was uneasily aware that I would have trouble finding a place to live that would allow my dog, Dada, to be with me. | |
| Grandma Pearl just stared at Mary, her bugged out eyes showing clearly through her spectacles. "Youze alright, honeh?" she asked cautiously. Mary continued chanting gibberish: "I shall never know what became of last year's bitter winter. Thoughts of the snowflake drift within me biting, biting, ever so biting with teeth cool and sparkling glitter. Fallen are my golden arches! Lo! Dada, I stand before thee kneeling as I stand, standing as I kneel..." Mary stood up and started strutting around with her arms sweeping in exaggerated motions. "OhmahGawd!" shrieked Grandma Pearl. "Satan's doin' some mean mumbo jumbo on dat youngin'...she's poh-zessed! Someone get an' egg-sor-cist!" | |
| I may just have to open up a can o'woop ass on you. | |
| Anyways, Right About 'Round This Time Jeb And The Boys Where All Hog-Tied And Botswana'd.. Ah Told 'Em Not To.. |
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