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Chapter 1

     The Story The Authors
" dames, yourselfs calmes, " Vashondra sifflŽs vers le haut. " il y a assez de martini pour chacun. Je remuerai tandis que le y'all recherchent que de vieilles dents malheureuses de foulques. DŽtruisez cet Žcureuil ennuyant tandis que votre ˆ lui, Tiki " yvonne
"Oh, you varmint!" scolded Grandma Pearl. "Nowz yuv gone made my blood pressha go up, you rodent." She looked up at the tree branch the squirrel had scurried to, and she shook her cane at it. Grandma Pearl blurted, "If ah wuz twinny yeahs yunga, I'd go on up theah and kick yo ass." The squirrel just chirped back at her loudly, and strangely enough, it sounded like it was cursing at Grandma Pearl in German. "Oh, so youze a Natzeh squirrel huh? We'll see 'bout dat. Hmph!" She spat and wobbled back into the house to get her rifle. penelope
Everyone, even Granny turned to stare at Vashondra. Since when did she speak french, they wondered. "What don't you understand?" Vashondra lashed out querulously. "What I said was, ladies, yourselfs calm, " Vashondra whistled towards the top " there is enough martini for each one. I will stir up while the y' all seek that old unhappy teeth the foulques ones. Destroy this annoying squirrel while your in him, Tiki " elan
" wŸnschen Sie Ihre ZŠhne, alten Coot? ", das sqirrel geneckt. " erhalten Sie Ihnen fetten Esel herauf sie dann, fartbag. ", Erreichend unten von einem Bebenglied, spat das Eichhšrnchen im Gesicht der Oma. marta
"Du, Du bist, SEHR unhoeflich!" Die Oma schreit. "Ja, und was sonst, Affe?" Das Eichhoernchen liegt auf das Grund. Shasta
"Hende ko alam yon problemo mo. Senabe ko yon buto mo es maleait." marta
"Ich unhšflich? ", das Eichhšrnchen erwiderte, " verlassen Sie einen meinen Garten, oder ich beschw50re herauf eine Pest der Heuschrecken und der racoons zum Plagen Ihres Hauses. ", marta
" GenŸgend " Vashondra schrie. " sprechen Sie Englisch, oder ich brenne Bohrungen durch beide Enden Ihrer alimenterykanŠle. " shasta
Like Vickie has any idea what the german shoppkeeper just told her. "Well, I may as well keep walking," she thought to herself. Amanda
And suddenly she came upon the locket lying in the underbrush. She looked around but saw no one near to whom it may belong. She picked it up to examine it more closely. On the outside of the silver heart locket engraved were tiny letters. They seemed to be initials. She could tell the locket was quite old because the engraved letters were as worn as an old nickel you might see at a small-town flea market. P.K., she made them out to say. Vickie repeated the letters out loud to herself as if they might sound more familiar or make strange sense for some odd reason. none
Then some weird hairy ape came in an killed her brad
Weird Harry, as his friends liked to call him, dosed her with a slab of barbecue beef created from his friend's dead carcass. Though he felt a little funny making a meal out of his old friend, Mad Cow, he thought the end justified the means. It took awhile for her to keel over, but he enjoyed watching her demise, which took place over weeks at the remote ranch he and the other beasts occupied. The Disenfranchised Animal Artists' Ranch looked like Noah's ark some days and like a slaughterhouse on other days. She wasn't a bad-looking woman, but she had to go. She kept repeating the 12 steps, along with the 10 commandments, interspersed with the names of all 52 playing cards. When she completed that list, she recited the ingredients in various recipes for ambrosia - the kind made with marshmallows and mandarin oranges. Weird Harry could only take so much. He wasn't sure whose idea it was to bring her here in the first place. Which of the animal artists felt a sudden compulsion for some human sex? He'd have to have a good long talk with that other-species craver. none
It was a dark twisted world that Weird Harry lived in. No one came in, and no one came out. People were no more than objects to him, not real feeling beings, just more objects in a world full of bizarre trinkets. His perception of life other than his demented one, of course, was bleak; he often did not understand the function other live things served, and treated them accordingly. But this one, this one was different. The sex question plagued him and he wondered whether or not he himself had been the culprit, and somehow had blocked it out and was trying to deny some urgent physical craving. Shasta


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