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Chapter 6

     The Story The Authors
Well, good breath ain't all bad. The tall guy at the counter was smiling pretty damn hard when she got close enough to breath fire into his face. He pushed his hand at her, grabbing for her money. Head tipped, she gave him something back: Her empty hand. She couldn't help noticing that the hair that peeked out of the top of his shirt was lighter than the dark mass on his head. She couldn't help noticing that his green eyes matched the color of mouthwash. She couldn't help noticing that she was really drunk and he might be the only one that cared. There was a dried rust-colored hot dog turning like the world on the grease-coated silver coils behind him. There were packages of aspirin and condoms stapled to a board. What was today's message? Were these tarot cards left out on a clothesline for her to notice when everything else remained silent? He asked, "Is there something wrong?" She said, "Smell my breath. Tell me what you think." She opened her mouth wide and drew close. This was the first time a customer ever asked him to check out the inside of a mouth. Oh yeah, there was this one time a young mother asked him to look at her son's rashy butt, but she could barely speak English and probably had no other way to communicate that she needed something for diaper rash. "Well," he said, "You smell nice." He wondered where she lived. "Ah," she said, "That's the nicest damn thing anyone has said to me today. Or maybe ever." d fleming
Really, her mouth smelt like old, warm, bad, beer, But he wasn't going to tell her that. If he played his cards right, he just might get some this time... Guido
Bitzy reached across the counter and grabbed the pharmacist by the hand. "Come with me!" she said excitedly. The pharmacist willingly followed. She led him back to the McDonald's parking lot where Vashondra, Tiki, Candace and Thug were still drinking margaritas. Bitzy approached the group and grabbing the pharmacist around the waist she said, "Guess what everyone! I have great news! We're going to be married!" "What?!" shouted Vashondra, Candace, Tiki and the pharmacist. "Wait," said Thug. "I know you!" Thug pointed at the pharmacist with a menacing look on his face. "I'm sure you're mistaking me for someone else." said the pharmacist nervously taking a step backwards. "I'm sure it's you," Thug said reaching into the breast pocket of his coat. cuddles
and pulling out a five dollar bill. "you dropped this on the bus three weeks ago. I saved it for you." the thug handed the pharmacist his lost bill. "Oh my God! Thank you so much! I have been looking everywhere for this. It has the phone number of a Shasta
lawyer, actually the estate holder, for my Uncle Buford who passed away very recently. There is going to be a discussion about his will next week, and until now I've been beating my head trying to find this attorney's phone number! Thanks again!" Out of sheer curiosity, Candace asked, "Is this the same Buford Bailey I read about in the paper?" Candace ignored the suspicious and doubting eyes of the others when she mentioned that she actually reads the newspaper. "You know, the guy who died filthy rich? So you're his nephew. You must have inherited a fortune!" said Candace. Upon hearing this, Bitzy's eyes widened. She held Frankie the pharmacist even closer and fluttered her eyes at him. Tiki tried to get into the act as well. She attempted to give Frankie a seductive wink and showed a bit of leg but Bitzy soon squashed Tiki's efforts by placing one of her stiletto heels firmly on Tiki's foot. Tiki gasped and gritted her teeth. Bitzy smiled widely and said to everyone, "Did I mention Frankie and I are getting married??" splice girl
"Are you defecating me?", squeaked Frankie? "We haven't even discussed marriage, what with our sex life having become so banal! Certainly we will not be tying the knot, at least until you consent to me tying some knots in our bed of sin, my soon to be slave girl!" Arne
"That does it, " replied Bitzy. She took a few steps back from Frankie. "Rich bastard or not, I'm tired of your putrid disposition." She reached into her less fabulous beehive and pulled out an uzi-1554 semi-automatic. Directing the point of the firearm at her "betrothed", she exclaimed, "Anyone here think I SHOULDN'T blast this poor excuse of a sphincter to kingdom come?" vhelma lou


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