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Chapter 4

The Story The Authors

She smiled inwardly. "It's so easy to play these food police," she thought. Donna Davies

I looked at her incredulously, wishing I'd remained unnoticed. none

There was a knock at the door and Bitzy rushed to answer it, expecting a delivery. When she opened the door she saw Tiki Dinette flanked by two rather polite looking police men. "Tiki, darling, how nice to see you!" Bitzy fawned. "Forgive me for disturbing, Bitzy, but these gentlemen here are the food police. It's seems I'm an offender and I'm afraid it has something to do with that lamb you sold me last week." "Oh my my!" Bitzy said. "Gentlemen, do come in, we'll get this matter straightened out right away." Tiki and the food police entered Bitzy's house and sat down in the living room. Bitzy began to make her famous martinis. "Tiki, you remember my dear friend Vashondra Du Lunchenette?" Bitzy Bootleg said indicating the woman with the 3 foot high strawberry blonde beehive hairdo who was already sipping a martini and munching a garlic stuffed olive. Tiki said she did and they all made small talk until Bitzy served them their drinks. Immediatly after their first sips, the food police fell dead on the floor. "Ohmygod!" Tiki cried, spilling her drink. "Bitzy, what have you done?" "Calm down, Tiki and help me get these bodies to the back room!" Tiki reluctantly assisted Bitzy in dragging the two bodies to a back room which looked more like a butcher shop with all sorts of horrifying stainless steel devices. Bitzy tied on an apron and began to undress the men. "Bitzy," Tiki said in a quavering voice. "That was lamb you sold me last week, wasn't it? Wasn't it?!" "You had an order in for pork this week, didn't you Tiki?" Bitzy asked calmly. "No!" Tiki cried, breaking into a cold sweat. "No, I don't need any meat this week." She began to back out of the room but stopped when she ran into Vashondra who was grinning and handing her a martini. cuddles

At that very moment, she suffered a nervous breakdown. She ran screaming from the room and barely kept from colliding with a rather large and blatantly unattractive Ming vase in the hallway. Bleph

The screen door was locked. With a rippening thud against the aluminium and wire, she collapsed. Vashondra stooped over her comatose body, "Tiki, my dear would you like some mouth to mouth or another martini?" none

"BITZY WHERE ARE YOU?" Vashondra shrieked, "WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY" Bitzy emerged from the living room with a toothpick stuck in the gap between her front teeth, "What Up Mensahibe?" Lowering her eyes, she smiled, as she watched Tili silent on the floor. Fewer tendons and gristle she thought to herself, an easier cut once you remove the cuteneous fat. "DAMN IT BITZY, I USED THE LAST OF THE VERMOUTH". You will have to go off to the store before we can revive Tiki. elan

"Now, now, Vash, don't panic." Bitzy said in her unnervingly calm manner. "There is another bottle in the pantry." She removed the toothpick from between her front teeth and stabbed the last olive in Vashondra's empty cocktail glass. She held the olive over Tiki's mouth and a small drop of the liquor fell in. Tiki began to stir and her eyes fluttered open. "Where am I? What's happening?" Tiki said, not realizing how cliche it sounded. "It'll come back to you soon enough." said Bitzy. "And when you realize where you are and what you know, I think you'll also realize what your choices are." Bitzy sat down in the big overstuffed wing back chair. Vashondra helped Tiki to her feet. Tiki glanced around the room and her eyes widened as she recalled the recent events that had caused her to panic and knock herself out. "You..." she said weakly, pointing at Bitzy. "Yes." Bitzy said smugly. "And now you know your choices. I was able to persuade Vashondra to join me and I think we can persuade you as well." Tiki was mortified. Vashondra had made more martinis and handed one to Bitzy and one to Tiki, which she refused. "Don't be that way, Tiki," Bitzy said. "I just know we can all be friends. Would another tour of the back room be enough to convince you?" Bitzy grinned and sipped her cocktail. Tiki looked at Bitzy, then Vashondra, and back at Bitzy. Tiki accepted the martini from Vashondra and Bitzy smiled triumphantly. cuddles

The Story	The Authors
She smiled inwardly. "It's so easy to play these food police," she thought.	Donna Davies
I looked at her incredulously, wishing I'd remained unnoticed.	none
There was a knock at the door and Bitzy rushed to answer it, expecting a delivery. When she opened the door she saw Tiki Dinette flanked by two rather polite looking police men. "Tiki, darling, how nice to see you!" Bitzy fawned. "Forgive me for disturbing, Bitzy, but these gentlemen here are the food police. It's seems I'm an offender and I'm afraid it has something to do with that lamb you sold me last week." "Oh my my!" Bitzy said. "Gentlemen, do come in, we'll get this matter straightened out right away." Tiki and the food police entered Bitzy's house and sat down in the living room. Bitzy began to make her famous martinis. "Tiki, you remember my dear friend Vashondra Du Lunchenette?" Bitzy Bootleg said indicating the woman with the 3 foot high strawberry blonde beehive hairdo who was already sipping a martini and munching a garlic stuffed olive. Tiki said she did and they all made small talk until Bitzy served them their drinks. Immediatly after their first sips, the food police fell dead on the floor. "Ohmygod!" Tiki cried, spilling her drink. "Bitzy, what have you done?" "Calm down, Tiki and help me get these bodies to the back room!" Tiki reluctantly assisted Bitzy in dragging the two bodies to a back room which looked more like a butcher shop with all sorts of horrifying stainless steel devices. Bitzy tied on an apron and began to undress the men. "Bitzy," Tiki said in a quavering voice. "That was lamb you sold me last week, wasn't it? Wasn't it?!" "You had an order in for pork this week, didn't you Tiki?" Bitzy asked calmly. "No!" Tiki cried, breaking into a cold sweat. "No, I don't need any meat this week." She began to back out of the room but stopped when she ran into Vashondra who was grinning and handing her a martini.	cuddles
At that very moment, she suffered a nervous breakdown. She ran screaming from the room and barely kept from colliding with a rather large and blatantly unattractive Ming vase in the hallway.	Bleph
The screen door was locked. With a rippening thud against the aluminium and wire, she collapsed. Vashondra stooped over her comatose body, "Tiki, my dear would you like some mouth to mouth or another martini?"	none
"BITZY WHERE ARE YOU?" Vashondra shrieked, "WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY" Bitzy emerged from the living room with a toothpick stuck in the gap between her front teeth, "What Up Mensahibe?" Lowering her eyes, she smiled, as she watched Tili silent on the floor. Fewer tendons and gristle she thought to herself, an easier cut once you remove the cuteneous fat. "DAMN IT BITZY, I USED THE LAST OF THE VERMOUTH". You will have to go off to the store before we can revive Tiki.	elan
"Now, now, Vash, don't panic." Bitzy said in her unnervingly calm manner. "There is another bottle in the pantry." She removed the toothpick from between her front teeth and stabbed the last olive in Vashondra's empty cocktail glass. She held the olive over Tiki's mouth and a small drop of the liquor fell in. Tiki began to stir and her eyes fluttered open. "Where am I? What's happening?" Tiki said, not realizing how cliche it sounded. "It'll come back to you soon enough." said Bitzy. "And when you realize where you are and what you know, I think you'll also realize what your choices are." Bitzy sat down in the big overstuffed wing back chair. Vashondra helped Tiki to her feet. Tiki glanced around the room and her eyes widened as she recalled the recent events that had caused her to panic and knock herself out. "You..." she said weakly, pointing at Bitzy. "Yes." Bitzy said smugly. "And now you know your choices. I was able to persuade Vashondra to join me and I think we can persuade you as well." Tiki was mortified. Vashondra had made more martinis and handed one to Bitzy and one to Tiki, which she refused. "Don't be that way, Tiki," Bitzy said. "I just know we can all be friends. Would another tour of the back room be enough to convince you?" Bitzy grinned and sipped her cocktail. Tiki looked at Bitzy, then Vashondra, and back at Bitzy. Tiki accepted the martini from Vashondra and Bitzy smiled triumphantly.	cuddles

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