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Chapter 4

     The Story The Authors
"I'm famished," Vashondra exclaimed. "Those garlic stuffed olives are gettimg to be dreary." "Do be a doll, Bitzy and fix us some of those special canopes." Vashondra winked at Tiki as Bitzy rose and headed to the kitchen. She headed over to the bar to refill their glasses, this time dropping a pearl onion into the icy liquid. Tiki took the glass thankfully this time. Her head was beginning to clear. Vashondra seated herself on the lounge close to Tiki. Pulling a yellow legal pad and a fountain pen from her strawberry blonde beehive hairdo, she turned to Tiki. "I know you are a bit uncertain about our new business partnership, I was hesitant myself at first, but Bitzy showed me some pretty impressive spread sheets. The cost of supplies is neglible and this market has huge potential, the public is tired of pork, beef, chicken and lamb, and you know as well as I do that seafood is just too unstable. Everyday the masses read of a new danger in fish, from mercury levals to hepatitis C." Tiki, feeling bewildered took another sip from her martini, "What do you want Vashondra, what can I do?" Vashondra smiled, wrapping her arm around Tiki's shoulder, "A team player, I like that. We need you Tiki, you will be our marketing specialist. We need to create a new animal, a new name for our product and tell the world that it is a safe meat....something like tofu with flavor. Book the Today show and have Martha Stewart singing it's praises, show film clips of welfare mothers back at work raising livestock on farms and becoming millionaires. You can do it Tiki, all you have to do is create a new name for this epicurian staple." Bitzy waltzed into the room carrying a tray of canopes and a fresh pitcher of martinis. "A lifesaver you are Bitzy, I thought I'd die of thirst, but pass it the goodies to our new friend first." Gingerly, Tiki accepted a cocktail napkin and two round water biscuits smeared with a liver like paste and adorned with a marinated stuffed olive. elan
"Well," Tiki said, nibbling the tidbit. "I suppose Soilent Green is out of the question." She chuckled at her little joke. Bitzy and Vashondra smiled wryly and shook their heads. "You know, this is really tastey." Tiki said popping the rest of the hor d'oevre into her mouth. "What is it?" "It's a sample of our product, the liver pate." Vashondra said. Tiki gagged and spit out the food. "Look, I agreed to name it but I never said I would eat it!" She wiped her mouth with the cocktail napkin. "But Tiki, how can you stand behind a product you don't believe in?" Bitzy asked. "You said yourself it was tastey." Vashondra added. "I think I've just become a vegetarian." Tiki said with burp. "Okay, why don't we just call it soylen, a meat substitute or alternative protein or something." Tiki said, wiping her mouth again. "I like that. Alternative protein. Soylen. Good." Bitzy said. Vashondra agreed. "People love anything that's alternative. I think that will work." Vashondra and Bitzy raised their cocktail glasses in a toast to Tiki. cuddles
all of a suddun, Bitzy said," this place smells like shit, I'm leaving!!" none
"Bitzy, What's the matter?" Vashondra rose and put her arm around Bitzy, " I was only kidding when I said I was becoming a vegan. Your pate is delicious." Bitzy looked dumbfounded, "You just don't get it do you?" she asked tearfully. "Sit down Bitz and talk to me" Bitzy sprawled on the lounge, knowing she was to inebriated to leave. "First of all, the name is stupid, everyone will remember the flick and all the vegetarians already eat TVP and soy. Why are you asking her...I created the product and you are letting some fly by night food hussy intrude on us." "Ohmygod" Vashondra thought to herself, "Bitzy is green with jealousy, maybe she shouldn't have revived Tiki. It was all so complicated and the pitcher was dry." Tiki, sinking as far back in the chair as she could, realized that Bitzy might not be the butcher she was cracked up to be. The place did smell like shit. "I'm going to leave you two alone" she announced "while I take the trash out." elan


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