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Chapter 4

The Story The Authors

She made him his favorite pudding of children's toes. none

while he ate, he whispered in her ear, "darling, please pass the salad". she passed it to him as as he took it their fingers touched a soft touch, he caressed her hand and soon they were kissing madly. Louise

But she grew tired of him and his persistant body odor. So without a moment's hesitation, she swallowed him whole. She stared out the kitchen window as she picked her teeth and sipped her coffee. It was time for a vacation, she thought. Giggling with excitement of the places she'll go and the people she would meet (and perhaps eat), she threw a few of her personal belongings in her mock elephant hide luggage and hurried out the door. She was headed for gortex vortex

...well, she didn't know for sure, but that didn't matter. Perhaps she would sample a bit of Italian cuisine, or savor palatable delicacies in the south of France. The many appetizing possiblities and her indecisive nature made selecting just one rather difficult, but she knew that with persistence and an empty stomach, in due time she could have a little bit of everything. Her mouth had already begun to water at the thought... dove

With her elephantine suitcase in hand she traipsed up to the corner at City Avenue and waited for the bus.She wasn't exactly sure where she wanted to go but the airport seemed a good choice. The walk wasn't hard, the suitcase was light. She hadn't had time to to do the wash before she left. All she had packed was her flannel nightie, three clean t-shirts and a pair of jeans and of course the perfunctory black dress and matching heels. At the last moment she went thru the things that her husband had left. A box of condoms, 4 dental dams from Australia,a miniture rachet with three small sockets, a very old round of moldy cheese and a bottle of rye that was half full was all he found useful to add to her kit. Paris, Venezia and Basil clouded her mind. The bus screeched to a halt. elan

The doors opened and out stepped Vashondra du Lunchenette. She immediately spotted Bitzy sitting on her small grey trunk and knew that was something the elephant would never have done. Vashondra walked right up to Bitzy and looked her straight in the eye. "Vash!" Bitzy was surprised to see her friend whom she thought she'd ditched. "Ha!" said Vahondra. "So you thought you could ditch me so easily, eh? Well, I've been following you, Bitzy Bootleg, and I was right, you have changed!" "Yes, Vash, I have changed! I've grown mighty tired of being your sidekick! I'm my own person now and I'm enjoying every minute of it!" "Fine, Bitzy. But cannibalism?" Vash folded her arms and shook her head disdainfully. "Really, Bitz, it just isn't done." cuddles

There was some commotion going on two blocks down the street. a

Tiki Dinette's wrists were throttled behind her back causing her Liz Claiborne blouse to gape. A bit of the flower on her Bali was exposed. The two gentleman from the food police held each of her elbows as they escorted here out ot the trattatoria. They politely covered her head as she bent down to enter the squad car. Camera's flashed as the reporter from The Weekly World News happened to be on the scene. Ms. Dinette had been trained by Jeremy Towers and Alice Walker, where had she gone wrong? It had something to do with the escarpment of lamb pouilles served on bed of raddichio and arugala drizzled with a balsamic roquefort vinegrette. "Hmmmm" she thought, "Who could bail her out of this mess?" elan

Thumbing through her address book she found a battered lavender and black business card. "Bitzy Bootlegger" it read, "Wholesale supplier of epicurian delight". She remembered it was Bitzy who had come into the restaurant last week with 107 pounds of fresh lamb shanks at a bargain price. Of course, she had snatched them up. Fresh lamb is hard to come by unless you live in the antipodes. Maybe Bitzy would help her out, after all she lived just around the corner. "Officer Gourmand, before you take me to the food prison, may we make a stop on City Ave, so that I may notify a family member of my whereabouts?" "No worries, your wish I my desire" he replied with a broadening smirk scree

The Story	The Authors
She made him his favorite pudding of children's toes.	none
while he ate, he whispered in her ear, "darling, please pass the salad". she passed it to him as as he took it their fingers touched a soft touch, he caressed her hand and soon they were kissing madly.	Louise
But she grew tired of him and his persistant body odor. So without a moment's hesitation, she swallowed him whole. She stared out the kitchen window as she picked her teeth and sipped her coffee. It was time for a vacation, she thought. Giggling with excitement of the places she'll go and the people she would meet (and perhaps eat), she threw a few of her personal belongings in her mock elephant hide luggage and hurried out the door. She was headed for	gortex vortex
...well, she didn't know for sure, but that didn't matter. Perhaps she would sample a bit of Italian cuisine, or savor palatable delicacies in the south of France. The many appetizing possiblities and her indecisive nature made selecting just one rather difficult, but she knew that with persistence and an empty stomach, in due time she could have a little bit of everything. Her mouth had already begun to water at the thought...	dove
With her elephantine suitcase in hand she traipsed up to the corner at City Avenue and waited for the bus.She wasn't exactly sure where she wanted to go but the airport seemed a good choice. The walk wasn't hard, the suitcase was light. She hadn't had time to to do the wash before she left. All she had packed was her flannel nightie, three clean t-shirts and a pair of jeans and of course the perfunctory black dress and matching heels. At the last moment she went thru the things that her husband had left. A box of condoms, 4 dental dams from Australia,a miniture rachet with three small sockets, a very old round of moldy cheese and a bottle of rye that was half full was all he found useful to add to her kit. Paris, Venezia and Basil clouded her mind. The bus screeched to a halt.	elan
The doors opened and out stepped Vashondra du Lunchenette. She immediately spotted Bitzy sitting on her small grey trunk and knew that was something the elephant would never have done. Vashondra walked right up to Bitzy and looked her straight in the eye. "Vash!" Bitzy was surprised to see her friend whom she thought she'd ditched. "Ha!" said Vahondra. "So you thought you could ditch me so easily, eh? Well, I've been following you, Bitzy Bootleg, and I was right, you have changed!" "Yes, Vash, I have changed! I've grown mighty tired of being your sidekick! I'm my own person now and I'm enjoying every minute of it!" "Fine, Bitzy. But cannibalism?" Vash folded her arms and shook her head disdainfully. "Really, Bitz, it just isn't done."	cuddles
There was some commotion going on two blocks down the street.	a
Tiki Dinette's wrists were throttled behind her back causing her Liz Claiborne blouse to gape. A bit of the flower on her Bali was exposed. The two gentleman from the food police held each of her elbows as they escorted here out ot the trattatoria. They politely covered her head as she bent down to enter the squad car. Camera's flashed as the reporter from The Weekly World News happened to be on the scene. Ms. Dinette had been trained by Jeremy Towers and Alice Walker, where had she gone wrong? It had something to do with the escarpment of lamb pouilles served on bed of raddichio and arugala drizzled with a balsamic roquefort vinegrette. "Hmmmm" she thought, "Who could bail her out of this mess?"	elan
Thumbing through her address book she found a battered lavender and black business card. "Bitzy Bootlegger" it read, "Wholesale supplier of epicurian delight". She remembered it was Bitzy who had come into the restaurant last week with 107 pounds of fresh lamb shanks at a bargain price. Of course, she had snatched them up. Fresh lamb is hard to come by unless you live in the antipodes. Maybe Bitzy would help her out, after all she lived just around the corner. "Officer Gourmand, before you take me to the food prison, may we make a stop on City Ave, so that I may notify a family member of my whereabouts?" "No worries, your wish I my desire" he replied with a broadening smirk	scree

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