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Chapter 1

The Story The Authors

"Guess who is really coming to dinner, it's Goldilocks and the Three Stooges." Jo Ellen Giffin-Barber

"Guess who is really coming to dinner, it's Goldilocks and the Three Stooges." However, when he realized his fly was open he made a quik grab for his gun and shotoff his foot. Well, that didn't help much with the rest of the mess going on. The Three Stooges had an overwhelming desire to eat some bean pancakes, but considering the resulting flatulence problem opted for water from the Mystic Spring of Summer's Eve. Goldilocks, who could only admire her relection in the back of Mr. Cockadoo's bald pate, decided to skip the main entre and dash and dither with the Stooges no longer. A wild hare ran up a nearby jackass causing to snort and bray and rear. It backed into a thorn bush, imapling his little winkie on a thornberry. It hurt and he writhed in pain. But it was a good kind of pain. So he backed up again to enlarge on the sensation of agony. Jo Ellen Giffin-Barber

Three days later, Janice, Vashondra, and Bitzy opened their eyes. Janice sat up first. "Ohmigod," she said and threw up all over Bitzy who was lying next to her. Bitzy was so horrified she decided to go back to sleep and hope it would go away. Janice looked around. The three women were in the middle of the desert trying to squeeze into the limited shade of a large yucca tree. Thirty yards to their left was Vashondra's lime green mustang with an airstream trailer hitched up to the back of it. All the tires on the car and trailer were flat and there was no road in sight. Janice gave Vashondra a shove. Vashondra rolled over in the dust and then sat up, every hair still in place. "Remind me never to give you two peyote buttons again." Vashondra said. Suddenly a jackass with thornberries stuck to it's winkie ran by, snorting and braying horribly. Sandy

The jackass was actually Janice's former husband, Jonathon! He had been imprisoned when Kristen was born, and so now he had come back. He was dressed nicely in a tuxedo. Except, then a woman in a scarlet dress came over and french kissed Jonathon. Janice's eyes flared with anger. She didn't necessarily like Jonathon, but she didn't like seeing him happy. The woman came over to Janice and smirked. Jonathon laughed. "Oh, Marisa, darling. You sweet thing. Oh, hello Janice. I forgot to say. You're a jackass, darling." Jonathon looked confident. Marisa giggled and snuggled close to Jonathon's chest. Janice gave Marisa a Look. Suddenly, Zuess came and said, "You idiots! How do you expect people to enjoy this if you don't write about something else?" A lightening bolt struck down and turned them all into monsters. Janice, green with goo, dripped all over and made a pool of scum on the dirt. Marisa looked smug as she disenegrated. Jonathon and the others looked horrified as a coyote ate them. Then, a disgusting woman came by, singing the national anthem at the top of her lungs. A kid was there putting his hands over his ears. He squinted in the blaring sun. The woman started singing," honey

She sang "Oooooooooooooooohhh how baaaaaaaaaad the stooooooree izz getting, Oooooooooooooooooohh it is geeeeeeeeeeeetting hoooooooooooooribulllllllllll..." And she was right even though she had a lousy singing voice. Just then the slimy green monster exploded and there in the middle of its charred remains stood the unscathed Janice. The next instant Jeremy, Joel, Kristi, the ghost Terrence, and the angel Dianne materialized next to her. "Hah!" cried Janice, half to herself. "We are so powerfully immortal that even Zeus, six Authors, and eight armies cannot keep us dead!" "And now," said Dianne, "we must Carolyn

admit that we are doofuses!" Dianne exploded into a thousand deploid guts. Janice smiled. "You know, it's the first time Dianne's right! We ARE idiots!" Janice giggled and threw herself into a volcano. It erupted in the jungle, and a lion ate her, and the lion exploded and Janice guts flew all over the jungle. A little landed on everyone else, and they all exploded. All the guts contacted, and they made a GIANT JANICE! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The giant Janice thundered, but a little bunny rabbit hopped in front of the giant robot. "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A SCARY RABBIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and the giant Janice exploded. The earth began to take fire. Now, the earth had become a living Hell. There was nobody there, all except.... HEATHER THE MOUSE! Heather became a demon and her oozing, dripping, DISGUSTING body formed lots of demons. The ghost of Terrence was there, and he too, had become a horribly REVOLTING DISGUSTING SLIME DRIPPING DEMON!!!!!! Although, sad for the author who made up all these characters, Terrence looked at himself in the mirror, and he barfed. Terrence was not supposed to barf, because then he would dry up and become the Angel of Sickly Sweet LOVE! Although, when he hears the word, "love", he oozes into an apple pie with whip cream and nuts. And that's just what happened! Heather ate up the apple pie with whip cream and nuts who was the ghost of Terrence. And that was the end of him. Heather's ugliest friend, Madonna, came and spat at the world. Her spit oozed everywhere and the earth became a place with fucked up, swearing people. AND NO JANICE, DIANNE, JOELJEREMY,KRISTY,OR THE GHOST OF TERRENCE WERE THERE. THEY WERE ALL IN A DEAD DAMENTION. HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honey

The Story	The Authors
"Guess who is really coming to dinner, it's Goldilocks and the Three Stooges."	Jo Ellen Giffin-Barber
"Guess who is really coming to dinner, it's Goldilocks and the Three Stooges." However, when he realized his fly was open he made a quik grab for his gun and shotoff his foot. Well, that didn't help much with the rest of the mess going on. The Three Stooges had an overwhelming desire to eat some bean pancakes, but considering the resulting flatulence problem opted for water from the Mystic Spring of Summer's Eve. Goldilocks, who could only admire her relection in the back of Mr. Cockadoo's bald pate, decided to skip the main entre and dash and dither with the Stooges no longer. A wild hare ran up a nearby jackass causing to snort and bray and rear. It backed into a thorn bush, imapling his little winkie on a thornberry. It hurt and he writhed in pain. But it was a good kind of pain. So he backed up again to enlarge on the sensation of agony.	Jo Ellen Giffin-Barber
Three days later, Janice, Vashondra, and Bitzy opened their eyes. Janice sat up first. "Ohmigod," she said and threw up all over Bitzy who was lying next to her. Bitzy was so horrified she decided to go back to sleep and hope it would go away. Janice looked around. The three women were in the middle of the desert trying to squeeze into the limited shade of a large yucca tree. Thirty yards to their left was Vashondra's lime green mustang with an airstream trailer hitched up to the back of it. All the tires on the car and trailer were flat and there was no road in sight. Janice gave Vashondra a shove. Vashondra rolled over in the dust and then sat up, every hair still in place. "Remind me never to give you two peyote buttons again." Vashondra said. Suddenly a jackass with thornberries stuck to it's winkie ran by, snorting and braying horribly.	Sandy
The jackass was actually Janice's former husband, Jonathon! He had been imprisoned when Kristen was born, and so now he had come back. He was dressed nicely in a tuxedo. Except, then a woman in a scarlet dress came over and french kissed Jonathon. Janice's eyes flared with anger. She didn't necessarily like Jonathon, but she didn't like seeing him happy. The woman came over to Janice and smirked. Jonathon laughed. "Oh, Marisa, darling. You sweet thing. Oh, hello Janice. I forgot to say. You're a jackass, darling." Jonathon looked confident. Marisa giggled and snuggled close to Jonathon's chest. Janice gave Marisa a Look. Suddenly, Zuess came and said, "You idiots! How do you expect people to enjoy this if you don't write about something else?" A lightening bolt struck down and turned them all into monsters. Janice, green with goo, dripped all over and made a pool of scum on the dirt. Marisa looked smug as she disenegrated. Jonathon and the others looked horrified as a coyote ate them. Then, a disgusting woman came by, singing the national anthem at the top of her lungs. A kid was there putting his hands over his ears. He squinted in the blaring sun. The woman started singing,"	honey
She sang "Oooooooooooooooohhh how baaaaaaaaaad the stooooooree izz getting, Oooooooooooooooooohh it is geeeeeeeeeeeetting hoooooooooooooribulllllllllll..." And she was right even though she had a lousy singing voice. Just then the slimy green monster exploded and there in the middle of its charred remains stood the unscathed Janice. The next instant Jeremy, Joel, Kristi, the ghost Terrence, and the angel Dianne materialized next to her. "Hah!" cried Janice, half to herself. "We are so powerfully immortal that even Zeus, six Authors, and eight armies cannot keep us dead!" "And now," said Dianne, "we must	Carolyn
admit that we are doofuses!" Dianne exploded into a thousand deploid guts. Janice smiled. "You know, it's the first time Dianne's right! We ARE idiots!" Janice giggled and threw herself into a volcano. It erupted in the jungle, and a lion ate her, and the lion exploded and Janice guts flew all over the jungle. A little landed on everyone else, and they all exploded. All the guts contacted, and they made a GIANT JANICE! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The giant Janice thundered, but a little bunny rabbit hopped in front of the giant robot. "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A SCARY RABBIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and the giant Janice exploded. The earth began to take fire. Now, the earth had become a living Hell. There was nobody there, all except.... HEATHER THE MOUSE! Heather became a demon and her oozing, dripping, DISGUSTING body formed lots of demons. The ghost of Terrence was there, and he too, had become a horribly REVOLTING DISGUSTING SLIME DRIPPING DEMON!!!!!! Although, sad for the author who made up all these characters, Terrence looked at himself in the mirror, and he barfed. Terrence was not supposed to barf, because then he would dry up and become the Angel of Sickly Sweet LOVE! Although, when he hears the word, "love", he oozes into an apple pie with whip cream and nuts. And that's just what happened! Heather ate up the apple pie with whip cream and nuts who was the ghost of Terrence. And that was the end of him. Heather's ugliest friend, Madonna, came and spat at the world. Her spit oozed everywhere and the earth became a place with fucked up, swearing people. AND NO JANICE, DIANNE, JOELJEREMY,KRISTY,OR THE GHOST OF TERRENCE WERE THERE. THEY WERE ALL IN A DEAD DAMENTION. HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	honey

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