If Grapes were the Frogs of Time, <br>Then so be it.

If Grapes were the Frogs of Time,
Then so be it.

Chapter 5

     The Story The Authors
So that leads us to our new story.....The Mysterious Masked Murder from L.A. It all started on a sunny day. The sun was bright and no signs of danger were there. Joe and Bob were watching The Simpsons when a special news bulliten came up..."News Flah! 20 people have been killed in the city of L.A. and the mysterious masked murder is still at large. He was last seen going to the city Sacramento so watch out and lock your doors and windows. Joe and Bob were frightened because they lived in Sacramento!!! Homer-j
But the killer took no interest in them since funny smells permeated from their bodies. none
Umm... I think I liked the Star Wars story better. Carolyn
But anyways, Joe and Bob were hiding from the murderer. They didn't know where to hide! Suddenly Bob's costume fell off. He was really the masked murderer! Joe fled with his sister JANICE. Carolyn
Janice, you see was really a closet potato bug molester and didn't like the fact that none
Bob was really the masked murderer. So janice Carolyn
decided to flee. She went to another state and had ten kids. no one special
Unfortunately only 4 of their children survived: Kristi, Dianne, Joel, and Terrence. Kristi was youngest of the four, she was 5. She liked listening to juke boxes and jumping on the trampoline. Also, she collected grapes. She tried to turn them into rasins. Dianne was 6. She liked to find things, she would turn the whole house upside down to see if there was pirate treasure in it. Her favorite word was Kimono. She had no idea what it meant but liked saying it. She also liked saying "fuck me" but had no idea what that meant either. Joel was 9. He slammed doors for fun, he liked the big "boom" sound. He also liked hopping. Sometimes he would jump on Kristi's trampoline and she would get mad. Terrence was always happy. He could almost always be found in the kitchen, eating. He was kinda fat. He was 18 years old and the oldest of them. He collected grapes just like Kristi. But he would always eat the ones he colected, grapes were his favorite food. They all went to the same school, even Terrence. Kristi got a B+ on her report card. Dianne got an F+ and almost got left in kindergarten last year. (She lost most of her marks because she always said "fuck me" to the teacher.) Joel got a B- and was very jealous of Kristi. Terrence got an A+ ans bragged TONS!!!! Actually his teacher was just a softie. One day Joel and Terrence decided to get Kristi and Dianne in trouble. Joel got an idea first, "We could.." Carolyn
stick raisins in mom's nose while she is sleeping at night, then, in the morning, mom would think Kristi did it! isen
"OK, who dtuck raidins in my node?' asked Mom, in her usual figgled way - like when she knows we're just bein' silly and playing. Mom's a good mom. She doesn't get really mad like a lot of Moms. And she listens to us and lets us talk. And even when we're not talking and just trying to think, you know how you do when you have to gather together whatever it is you want to say right because you don't want to say it wrong, she just listens quietly and doesn't rush us. Johnathan and Seane Marie
Mom listened patiently as Joel and Terrence exchanced glances. "We don't know, Mom." Mom could tell when a person was lying. "Boyd," she asked, "I know you're lying. I think you must have done it, Terrence, becaude you have a collection of grapes." Terrence got spanked, by Dad of course. Joel decided to get Dianne in trouble. He told Kristi what "fuck me" really meant. Then Dianne went up to Kristi and said, "Hi Mr. Kimono. Fuck me," like she always did. Kristi screamed. Mom came and asked, "Whatd happening here?" Kristi said "She wants me to Carolyn
fuck me Mommy!" With this her mother took her aside and said, "Okay, darling, now is the time for me to have a little chat with you about the birds and the bees," she began hesitantly. "There comes a time in every girls life when she meets a boy and falls in love. The process is natural and when she is absolutely sure that this is the man she wants to remain forever with..." she rambled. Just then Kristi interrupted... "Oh Mom! I already know how to fuck, but tell me how you cook Lasagna." none

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