If Grapes were the Frogs of Time, <br>Then so be it.

If Grapes were the Frogs of Time,
Then so be it.

Chapter 5

     The Story The Authors
Ya come on mom! Can't you even do one thing. And you know I know how to fuck. nothing
no i don't let me show you how! homeyj
"But how to do what?" He said with anguish. As the full fish tank was lugged down the stairs, he became only half conscious of the hairline crack in the 100 gallon giant.....that is....until it shattered....then he found himself flying down the twenty thousand stair staircase on the crest of a goldfish-laden tidal wave Sagrat
and so he died right then, becuase as we all know, you can't live through something like that, not even him. tekaforever
So then, he was sent off into the netherworld. That middle space where spirits wait to be reborn into another body. "Which Mom do you want?" "What?", he replied. "Which Mom do you want?" said the angel again. "Which Mom? You get to choose, you know." "I do?" "Yes, you do. Don't worry, most don't remember the last time they were here. So?" "So?" So, which Mom?" "What about the Dad? Can't I choose a Dad?" "Nope. Sorry. The Mom is responsible for that. Better hope she chose well." "She looks nice." "Charlotte McCorkle. Excellent choice. Intelligent. Attractive. You'll be a good lookin' kid. To be inseminated by ..." "You mean knocked up?" "Watch those freudian slips, you don't want one of those kinds of dads" "Oh, yea" (sight gag here with one-two punch and the angel getting irritated) "To be, ahem, knocked up, but with no complications, thats good. You'll get to keep her, and uh, Roger Themis. Your name will be Robert. They'll call you Bobby most of your life." "Cool. So what do I get to do?" "You'll receive your instructions in the field." Joy Young
Not even in the arms of your best friend. But he will live on in those who knew him and loved him.And he will be remembered well. Cathy Moore
Kristi struggled awake. Her mom... or was it Charlotte McGoygle? was shaking her. Kristi listened ass Mom talked to her, she had been baking lasagna in the nether world when suddenly an angel reminded her to put noodles in (You see Kristi was still half asleep and still remembering her dream). Kristi became fully awake just when Mom said, "And that's how to bake lasagna. Now you try." Carolyn
But Kristi didn't want to bake lasagna. What she really wanted was a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Elisa
So she fixed herself one, and told Frank he could cook for himself. Then she went off to Aotea Square to ride her skateboard. none
On the way to the Square, the young girl thought about Frank and wondered if she had treated him too harshly. After all, Frank himself was the one who helped her escape from the mental hospital. She smiled just then, an act she rarely did, for people tended to be cruel when they caught sight of her prominent buck teeth. As she recollected the good times, Franny almost collided into another skater, who muttered something incomprensible and flicked her the bird. I.B. Mental
Just then, Franny had a nervous breakdown after realizing her name wasn't Franny but was in fact Kristi. She wished she was more like the other girls who didn't have a split personalilty disorder like she did. none
"Kristi dear," said Mom, "You're burning the lasagna." Carolyn
Kristi spun around and found her mom standing there, scolding her about the lasagna. "Aw, Ma! Don't go bugging me now while I'm out here in Aotea Square trying to have fun. Just then a large resounding BOOM reverberated throughout the area. none
"Oh dear! Now you've done it, Kristi. I told you to mind the lasagna didn't I? Now you've made the oven explode." "That's not the oven, Ma!," answered Kristi. She gasped as she realized where the deafening sound was coming from. Sean
They were coming from her butt!!!!!!!!! She and a horrid case of diarhea. A stanky smell filled the room. and then......... rebecca
Her mom, Dianne, Joel, and Terrence fled. Nothing could be done to save Kristi, they knew that because she was bringing the explosions with her. Carolyn
At Kristi's funeral, everyone wore black, except for Dianne, who would have worn pink except black is her favorite color. And everyone was so sad at Kristi's passing! Everyone except Joel, who had a hangover and didn't know what was going on, and Terrence, who was playing footsie with the preacher's daughter, and Dianne, who had tears streaking down her face because last night her boyfriend dumped her and she had an unusually large Visa bill and a gruesome pimple in the middle of her forehead besides. Ok, nobody was grieving, not even Kristi's mom. And we all know why don't we? Sean

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