Reflections on the Surface of a Toe Nail

Reflections on the Surface of a Toe Nail

Chapter 1

     The Story The Authors
Pee Wee was a unique one, who would've guessed. It was no surprise, I mean, with my name as Kiwi, that our parents were the ones to blame. He took much pleasure in taking his car and driving on sidewalks. Most of the time he would do this at night. There was a time, however, where the sunlight was shining bright, and he drove down Rodeo Drive. Past the Cartier and the Gucci shoppes, what a smile appeared on his face. I enjoyed watching the fur clad ladies jumping so high that even Michael Jordan would be envious. none
I also enjoyed a delightful day while I went to the Feista de la Tienos (?) and danced with the fruit-basket-wearing, enchilada flinging senorita's Lance
I drank Margaritas all night long. When I could dance no longer, I made my way back to the cabana and passed out on the bed. none
After some time i recall that i get up in the night and a big black bear is staring at me fro my balcony window. My body suddenly feels cold my tongue is very dry, and my hans are trembling. Ishout a lot and recognize that i had a bad dream. mary
But how can a dream be reality??? "Ishout" surely was a lot, but how could he recognize it quickly? And what are these strange new appendages attached to the truck of his body which are called "hans"? But they sure are trembling! At least when the bear was near, he was not looking at me, but at my fro. Better my fro ending up in the belly of a bear than me anyday. How could the bear be staring? When something is starring it is looking at an object with a stare. But when something is staring, is it looking at an object with a star? GramMar
Noel and Liam were sitting in their rooms one day. Liam turned to Noel and asked, "Ey, is that fook'en Christmas song 'bout you?" Noel kept snorting his cocaine and ignored Liam. Liam then continued, "Ey, have any idea that 'Noel' spelled bloody backward is 'Leon'?" Noel then took Liam and smashed him into the wonderwall, threw him out the window, screaming "And don't look back in anger!" Then Noel continued to snort away...............until suddenly Sally
Dennis Rodman came in and asked him for a joint. Noel said 'Where were you when we were getting high?' Rodman responded... none
"I was hang'in with Madonna while you were gettin high." Noel Gallagher found this very interesting, and since Liam was just a blur on the pavement, he asked Denis Rodman, "Can you sing like a goat?" Rodman let the notes fly. Then Noel asked Denis, "Can I shag Madonna?" And that's how Rodman became the new lead singer in Oasis, and how Noel decided to colour his hair pink. Then one day.... eMpTyV
while at the Planet Hollywood in L.A., somebody secretly replaced Rodman's usual beverage with Foldger's Crystals. Denis went ballistic. He turned over the table he and Noel were sitting at, ran over to the bar where Jean-Claude Van Damm was trying to pick up some Asian chick, and placed the unsuspecting victim in a figure-four leg lock. "It was YOU, Van Damm! YOU sabotaged my Shirley Temple and now you've got to pay!" Van Damm reached for the closest thing within his grasp -- a movie script for the sequel to Kiss of the Spider Woman that seemed to be made for him -- and wacked Rodman upside the head, knocking him temporarily sane. Upon seeing this, Noel Gallagher imediately held a press conference anouncing Rodman as the new Oasis frontman. "We felt as a band that something had to be done about our image. Denis is just the bi-sexual we need. I mean, with all the damage that Liam has done in the media, Denis seemed like the obvious choice to turn our band around. Hey, we Brits aren't dumb you know. We care about the public's perception. And so does Denis." Oasis' next album sold 1,500 copies and they all became professional wrestlers... Scott Hutley
The first wrestling match occurred at Atlantic City. Noel Gallagher and Denis Rodman versed Billy Corgan and Eric Lindros in a tag team match. While Denis had no trouble with Billy Corgan, whose techniques were stuck in 1979, Noel had a harder time against #88. Eric "The Goon" Lindros body slammed Noel into the mat, breaking Gallagher's nose in the process. Recovering in the hospital, Noel asked his doctor, "Now how the fook can I do the bloody white line?" In the next fight, the matchup was even more spectacular.... QUOasis


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