The Unnamed adventures of Roger Weaver

The Unnamed adventures of Roger Weaver

Chapter 3

     The Story The Authors
Roger pushed off from the steps and into the weightless wonder of his new found fishy harem. The Mermaids swarmed around him like hummingbirds to a morning glory. Suspended in the dream-like freedom of the water they began an elaborate ballet of groping hands and reaching tongues. Rising higher and higher in the blue lit chamber until they threatened to impale themselves on the very stalagmites of the ceiling.
Roger was lost in adolescent rapture. It was as if his every junior high fantasy had been granted in one fell swoop.
All at once an iron claw grabbed at his ankle and dragged him back down into the darkness and away from his dreams.
A second set of cold metal digits grabbed his other ankle, and rising up from beneath him, like bubbles rising up through the water, came the twin giggles of Thing One and Thing Two, who chanted at him, as they dragged him away:

This is no joke, this is no trick
We're here to save you from your prick!
As Mr. Hyde from Dr. Jeckyl
Our job's to save you from your peckyl!

We know you want a mermaid pet
In which to get your organ wet
But just remember, when things get rough
The ocean's made it wet enough!

At which solemn pronouncement the three of them having reached their destination by then the dieep-sea-diver-suited Thing One and Thing Two each bopped Roger over the head, kicked him soundly in the groin (ouch!) and scampered away giggling.

There was a whooooosh and a flush and the chamber in which the pair had left him quickly drained leaving a flushed Roger gasping and sputtering for breath on the floor. The pain of his reinflating lungs was almost as great as that of his unsatisfied and bruised family jewels. He lay there as still as he could with his eyes shut.
A small hatch opened in the ceiling and out of it slid what appeared like a large eyeball wearing a top hat trailing a flexible metal tether. It blinked at Roger. Roger winced back. Deep within the iris Roger could see a cat dimly refracted onto the back.
See my friend, so weak and pale
this is no time
to chase some tail
We have no time for earthly smut
So move yourself
Get Up! Get UP!
Roger listened to the persistent little voice and pushed up off the ground. What the hell was going on? He looked around him in wonder. He was in a cave of some sort, and numerous tunnels led out of it. "Pick one," the little voice dmanded. Roger felt like he was a character in the Jules Verne novel- Journey to the Center of the Earth, as he slowley walked into one of the tunnels. It was as black as the ace of spades and he had to cling to the wet and slimy walls to keep from falling. He walked and walked into the endless abyss, until like an oasis in a desert, he saw before him, a welcome speck of light. He began to walk faster now, one of the wiseman following the bright star. The light grew and grew, and as he neared it, the tunnel turned from black to gray, and the sounds of dripping water, echoing ghost steps and squeeking bats was lost as Roger ran the last steps out of the dark prison and into the outside world. Before him he saw Aquila
not the outside world at all. It was merely a larger chamber. Immense stalactites dripped from the limestone ceiling and sparkled in the reflected light of the small miner's lantern that sat on a little outcrop of a silvery green stalagmite. Above the lantern and scratched deeply into the rock was an arrow
And the initials A.S.
The top hatted eye hovered lightly over Roger's shoulder.
Pick your way
but not your nose
that's the way
the arrow shows
if ideas you need
you could always use'em
That way went Arnie Sachnusem
I looked at A.S. wondering who it was. Decided it was not fun to wonder as much as it would be to continue. So I did. Conitnue I did. I met a snail. A.S. on his shell. Continue I did. Met a bear. A.S. in his fur. Continue I did. I ate the twinkie, driank the wine. Looked up and say A.S. in my mind. What am I to do??? Sara J

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