Chapter 3
The Story | The Authors |
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At times like these Roger tended to fret that he was going prematurely
senile or some even worse fate, ala "Flowers for Algernon," when
these primitive thoughts flitted across the surface of his mind like
developmentally challenged fruit-bats suffering from radar deficiency...When
in truth (and only the Cat in the Hat knew) it was all those psilocybin
mushrooms he'd taken in college, the psychoactive molecules of which
lodge in the fatty tissues of the body, and in times of stress and
sweating, when circumstances had him working off those love-handles
he'd grown during the soft three years in New York City with Anita,
that these hidden molecules of mild hallucinatory potential were
released, passing through his brain one final time and taking great
special pleasure in slightly discombobulating it before being flushed
out of his body for good (or until the next time...) Yet still he fretted. Poor lad. Once ANita had read an article in Cosmopolitan entitled "Are You a Worrier?" and she'd clucked her tongue and giggled and said to herself, "I'm not, but I know who is," looking lovingly across the living room at Roger that afternoon so long ago and cackling to herself again. | |
Meanwhile, in the dim drear of the underground cavern, Roger searched
his memory for a face or a scrap of information to connect with the
name "Arnie Sachnusem," but came up empty-handed every time. He sat on a stone, lifted the basket of his hands for his face to fall into, and wept. Great sobs wracked him; he was lost; he hadn't eaten in three days; he was following a series of cyphers and clues left, apparently, by an insane cryptologist, for all the sense he could make out of them... As if by magic, there in that hour of his darkness, Thing One and Thing Two appeared with the graceful mercy and timing of two seraphim sent by God himself. They had been asleep, it seems; they were still cluthcing their pillows, and it was with these that they began to bang him on the head (boff!), in the face (zammo!), and across the chest (thwack!, knocking him off his rock and onto the cold hard cavern floor as the two Things raised up their voices in unison:
"Each time you lust or get depressed | |
And with those words, Roger remembered something from his past, which up until this moment had eluded him. He remembered being a very small lad, sitting in his bed, dressed in warm pajamas, while a fair maiden, perhaps his mother, read to him the wonderful tale of Sam I am and the green eggs and ham. He had so loved that story, of the odd little man, Sam, and his insistence that everyone should try and love green eggs and ham. As he remembered this warm and fuzzy memory, Thing One and Thing Two majically disappeared, just as suddenly as they had appeared, and Roger found himself ready for the next steps of his journey. | |
It was after-all a journey of only twelve steps, but what large steps they were, almost as if they were made for a giant or some other large creature. | |
For the voices began to come from the very walls:
"Rah-jer!" And then that song came churtling in over the P.A.:
So you tried it just a-once, found it alright
for kicks |
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