|The Story||The Authors|
|"Was that THE Brian?" Roger asked, a little awe-struck.|
The little Astrukh Roger was looking at noticed pee pee dribbling
down Roger's left trouser leg and, folding his hands complacently
within the long-sleeved Mandarin garment he was wearing, bowed his
head ever-so slightly towards Roger.
"What is left of honorable brain seems to be dribbling down honorable pant leg!
Ah, so...Most unfortunate..."
"Well, yeah. Didn't you see me using the red cellphone?" The Pope
rolled his eyes and shook his head disdainfully. "Humans, sheesh!"
he said, not even trying to hide his disdain from Roger. "What?
I was just asking." said Roger. "Well come on, it's time to get
going." said Pope John Paul Georgeandringo II.|
"Wait, can't I get this feather and goo off me first?" asked Roger.
"No, you'll be needing that for protection." the Pope explained.
"Protection? From what?"
"It's better if I don't tell you."
"Why not?" Roger was getting nervous.
"Just trust me." said the Pope.
"Well where are we going?" Roger pressed.
"I'm not going to like this, am I?"
"Most likely not."
|"THen why MOsior, I must detest, froom the #$%@, and all the rest. Speak in rhyme speak in time, let's see what other loser can come with and whine"|
|They then fly up into the sky and then the Pope said time to fly. He pushed Roger out from the plane to show him to trust in the little thangs. That little feather started to work. As Roger quoted "What a Jerk"|
|His descent slowed by the feathers, he plummeted down, down, down, just like Alice, and hit the water with a respounding splash! Surveying the distant coastline before the green waves swallowed him whole, he saw that they had flown far, far South since the part of Africa he had been in when he shot that same infernal giraffe which had set off this whole wacky chain of events. "Repenting your sins, then?" her heard the Pope's voice say tinnily in his ear, followed by the as-yet unidentified twins giggles with which the leader of the Catholic World's every utterance seemed to be punctuated...Then he was sinking too fast to consider these things, the feathers torn away by the briny sea but the greasy goo with which he was still covered insulating him from the frigid sub-Antarctic waters. Down, down, down he sank, past undulating kingdoms of sea-monkeys, dead WWII airmen and skeletal Afrikaner sailors mouthing mute obscenities, silverblue ribboning oarfish singing marine showtunes, and lazy pods of whales rolling in seismic plankton-orgies, down, down, down, the water growing darker, colder, more pressured, bursting in his ears, into frigid and absolute blackness which suddenly disappeared in the pink sunny glow of a great light emanating from somewhere beneath him, just as the last oxygen passed from his lungs into his bloodstream and he felt his consciousness began to disintegrate...|
|He thought for just a moment that he heard singing, yes it was song. It was a happy, uplifting song about the sea, and was that a mermaid? Roger knew finally that he was truly dying ... and then ... blackness.|
|The last thing he heard before his consciousness fled him was the faint crackle of the Pope's voice in his ear, "ANd remember — Roger — that's right, you — because even if I am the Pope, I remember when I was a young man, the way those hormones coursed through my body, made me think about about doing things I shouldn't be even [crackle] considering, things that R. told us we shouldn't do when he sent the 10 Happy Meals down to Grimace on Mt. Frenchfry, unnnatural [crackle] things — so remember, young man — no carnal relations between humans and Sea Monkeys, Mermaids and/or Hagfish are to be permitted. Under any [crackle] circumstances. It's your job now to save the worlds, yours and theirs, not to be getting your pecker wet in the wrong genetic pool. Over and [crackle] out..." Tee-hee, too-hoo went the twin giggles, right on cue; and then the transistor in his ear fizzed out and Roger knew no more for a long time.|