The Unnamed adventures of Roger Weaver

The Unnamed adventures of Roger Weaver

Chapter 2

     The Story The Authors
Roger struggled out of unconsciousness slowley, moaning as he did so. He was sprawled out on the desert sands, infront of his fire, which had long gone out. The cooled embers still glowed slightly from inside the teepee of smouldering branches and the smoke left trails towards the clear skies above. Judging from the position of the full moon, Roger deduced it was somewhere around four in the morning. He struggled into a sitting position, rubbing his head. It was four in the morning, but where was he? Nothing seemed to make sense. He looked around, trying to remember how he had gotten here. The line between dreams and reality was blurred. He remember the Fictional Five, the Pope, Anita. But what was real? A buzzing sound, carried on a light breeze, caught his attention and he pushed to his feet, rubbing his eyes as he limped towards the sound. Infront of him loamed the carcass of a wildebeast. Flies had alighted on its head and eyes while maggots writhed on what was left of its belly. The fog in Rogers brain began to clear. The past came flooding back. He remembered shooting a giraffe and then in desperation running from his hiding place to it. Well, not really running, he recalled, more like staggering. He hadn't eaten in days, he had begun to lose his vision, his strength, his mind. How he had reached the giraffe he didn't know, but he had. Or at least he had reached a carcass, and he had eaten it. The thought brought the taste of the rancid meat back to him and he gagged. The wildebeast! He had eaten the decomposing wildebeast, infested with maggots and worms! Things began to make sense, he must have passed out after eating what he thought was the giraffe, but was really a rotten wildebeast and... Roger froze. Who had made the fire he had just been laying in front of? What were these stange markings on his body? What sort of headress was he wearing? ...and why was he naked? There could only be one answer - Natives! Lee (Aquila)
"No," said Janice, "it's me! Hahahahahahaha! You've got to do what I say or I will hand you over to the batdooeuludruntvs! And burn your arms up! And color you wildebeest color so the lions will eat you!!! Hahahahahaha! Now listen here, I want you to lead the Fictional Four to Tera Cto Munnader! There I will be waiting for them with my deadly patented Arw Soe Fligae Tpor Siigal Adthraiushns trap! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" With that Janice vanished.

Moments later the rest of the Fictional Five appeared and pestered Roger with questions. "Have you seen Janice?" "Where is she?" "What is she doing?" Roger wasn't sure what to do until Kristi explained. "Janice's mind has been taken over by her evil remote control. If we can steal it and destroy it, she will return to her normal self. Otherwise, she will destroy the Universe. You mortals will die and we will lose our immortality and be confined to the Beta Universe for the rest of our lives." So Roger decided to tell them what Janice had said. "Oh no," said Kristi. "There is only one way to escape an Arw Soe Fligae Tpor Siigal Adthraiushns trap!" "What's that?" asked Roger. The reply was unanimous. "Anita."
They soon got to Anita's house. Anita had killed all the vampires in Manhattan with her Vampire Vacuum 3000. She was glad to help save the universe. But just then her ankle swayed and she fell onto the red button! Everyone screamed in horror as

Carolyn
they all got sucked up into a great black hole in space and were never seen or heard from again! Fortunately, the ever tiresome fictional five had mistook Roger Weaver's twin brother Bob for Roger himself and so the twin brother was sucked up into the void with them and Roger is still as we left him approaching the Mer Kingdom at the bottom of the Antarctic Ocean. cuddles


Library   |   Contents   Next Chapter

6

6