|The Story||The Authors|
|Vashondra wasn’t surprised at all to see the paramedic melt, "like the Wicked Witch of the West. Slumping to the ground". Clearly the poor thing wasn’t used to a properly mixed martini. Too bad there wasn’t time to provide Meredith with a beaker or two. She looked to be in bad shape and nearly fell off the stretcher when the paramedic "melted" into the ground. Still, the flashing lights of the ambulance added a sense of excitement to the impromptu gathering.|
|"Hang in there, Meredith, old girl! Just give me minute to shake you up a martini." Vashondra's nimble hands went immediately to work. She pulled all the ingredients out of her superhuman do and poured her famous mixture into a chilled cocktail glass and last but not least, she dropped in a garlic stuffed olive. "I think this will do the trick for you, my dear." Vashondra gently cradled Meredith's head in her arms carefully poured the drink into her mouth and it trickled down her throat. The doctors were never able to explain Meredith's miraculous recovery. By all laws of physics and medicine, she should have been dead. She had been burned over 90% of her body! But that night she walked out of the hospital with Tiki, Bitzy and her cousin Vashondra with not a trace of a burn scar.|
|Vashondra was a noted habitué of late night cosmetic and hair removal infomercials. As perfect as Meredith appeared on the surface beneath the layers of "moisturizing macro-biotic body plaster cream" she was like a crispy chicken strip. Vashondra’s miracles were of the worldly kind.|
Vashondra looked at the camera, and beamed a smile not even Mr. Jenkins could get away with as she raised fresh martini in a toast, sipped liberally from it, and gave a suggestive wink as the camera drew forward until her whole countenance filled it. "I work my voodoo with Headbanger Vodka," she cooed. "Without Headbanger, where would a poor lil' witch like me be?"|
CUT TO: Piles of straw heaped round the feet of three staked Salem witches being lit. Their screams, fading out.
CUT TO: Headbanger Vodka logo.
VOICE OVER: "Headbanger Vodka -- It'll burn you alive!"
|If only she could escape the portent of these ruminations, she knew she would never again eat rumcake sprinkled with parmesan cheese. But, alas, it was too late a resolution for this moment! The best Meredith could expect was to make some sense out of it all come daybreak and the inevitable waking from slumber. So she decided to settle back and let the images massage her subconcious psyche, content in the knowledge that the sun would come up tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'd be sun.....|