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Chapter 1

The Story The Authors

Of course, the last time Meredith bought Tickles a can of sardines, she had had some difficulty removing the fishy smell from her rug. In fact, it had really become almost another member of the household, an independent, obnoxious entity. Perhaps the cat might like some chicken instead. The bus arrived. Meredith stepped on, and suddenly realized that she had forgotten her pass. As she fumbled in her pocket for her fare, she noticed something odd about the driver. nonsum

She was disheveled woman with a large lump in the front of her neck and the fingers that gripped the steering wheel were made of metal. The driver yelled something at Meredith but she couldn't understand it because it seemed to be in morse code. "Get to the back of the bus and don't make a sound!" a frantic looking woman who was sitting behind the driver snapped at Meredith. "But my pass-" Meredith started. "Shut up and sit down!" shouted a third woman who sat opposite of the second. Meredith quickly made her way to the back of the bus and sat next to the window. Clutching her purse to her breast, Meredith decided it might not be such a good day after all. cuddles

As the bus slowly pulled over, Meredith wondered if this was one of those hijacking cases where the driver wasn't a driver at all, but rather an insane schitzophrenic escaped mental patient seeking revenge on the cruel world which institutionalized her in the first place. All this was running through Meredith's mind and she was beginning to feel beads of sweat pop out on her forehead, when the bus driver stood up and bellowed through the loudspeaker in a sarcastically cheery voice. "You are all about to be the first human being to be the control in an inoculation expirement!" Meredith had read her share of Sci-Fi and began to wish she had taken the subway instead. The two other women on the bus were cowering in their seats trying to be as brave as possible while the deranged bus driver stalked through the aisle clutching a hypodermic needle and shifting her eyes wildly from person to person. Meredith now knew there was no escape and any moment now, the bus driver would begin to restrain and inject the other hapless passengers... Metabolic Machine

"Damn Those Body Shop Bastards! Damn Them To Hell!" She Thought To Herself. "If They Hadn't Campaigned Against Animal Testing These Secret Control Tests Would Never Have Been Given The Green Light!". She Wondered Which Particular Corporation Was Funding This Little Excursion.. She Had A Feeling It Was Pepsi. Jesse

Suddenly the bus door opened and in stepped a woman of formidable presence. She was tall and thin but muscular. She was decked out in a hot pink leather mini dress and her hair was teased and sprayed and piled up into an incredible 3 foot high strawberry blonde beehive. "Vashondra Du Lunchenette!" Bitzy and Tiki cried from their seats. "Thank the Goddess you're here!" continued Bitzy. "Janice has lost her mind and she's about to inject us with some kind of virus!" Tiki added. Meredith couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was like something out of a bad horror film and she pinched herself to make sure this wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare. Janice turned on her heel and ran at Vashondra with the hypodermic needle. Vashondra grabbed Janice by the wrists and threw her out of the bus. She jumped into the driver's seat and closed the bus door. Meredith could feel a panic attack coming on. cuddles

And Meredith didn't like feeling nervous. So she pushed the cuckoo bus driver out of the way and took over at the wheel. She'd only driven small compacts, a ford escort and then a taurus when she got a raise at work. But this was different. She turned the wheel as hard and fast as her thin short arms would go. The bus flipped over immediately, throwing everyone into the air, out the windows, and against the ground. jean

"I'm going to be late for work. I'm going to be late for work..." panted Meredith like a sacred mantra. She'd always been so proud of her punctuality. Most days she was even as much as ten minutes early. She had always been able to calculate possible impediments to her arriving punctually. Roadwork, bad traffic, the number of stoplights between her and a given destination, She'd always been able to account for but not a hijacked bus and an accident. "Oh my! " she thought to herself with a rising panic,"an accident! I'll be late. I'll have to stay and wait for the police and tell them all about it. I may even get home late and Mr.Tickles will get his dinner late and he'll sulk for days and hide behind the couch. Oh my. oh my oh my oh my!" This was the most upsetting thing that had ever happened to her. If she had known something like this were going to happen she would've worn more sensible shoes for it. Lanark

The Story	The Authors
Of course, the last time Meredith bought Tickles a can of sardines, she had had some difficulty removing the fishy smell from her rug. In fact, it had really become almost another member of the household, an independent, obnoxious entity. Perhaps the cat might like some chicken instead. The bus arrived. Meredith stepped on, and suddenly realized that she had forgotten her pass. As she fumbled in her pocket for her fare, she noticed something odd about the driver.	nonsum
She was disheveled woman with a large lump in the front of her neck and the fingers that gripped the steering wheel were made of metal. The driver yelled something at Meredith but she couldn't understand it because it seemed to be in morse code. "Get to the back of the bus and don't make a sound!" a frantic looking woman who was sitting behind the driver snapped at Meredith. "But my pass-" Meredith started. "Shut up and sit down!" shouted a third woman who sat opposite of the second. Meredith quickly made her way to the back of the bus and sat next to the window. Clutching her purse to her breast, Meredith decided it might not be such a good day after all.	cuddles
As the bus slowly pulled over, Meredith wondered if this was one of those hijacking cases where the driver wasn't a driver at all, but rather an insane schitzophrenic escaped mental patient seeking revenge on the cruel world which institutionalized her in the first place. All this was running through Meredith's mind and she was beginning to feel beads of sweat pop out on her forehead, when the bus driver stood up and bellowed through the loudspeaker in a sarcastically cheery voice. "You are all about to be the first human being to be the control in an inoculation expirement!" Meredith had read her share of Sci-Fi and began to wish she had taken the subway instead. The two other women on the bus were cowering in their seats trying to be as brave as possible while the deranged bus driver stalked through the aisle clutching a hypodermic needle and shifting her eyes wildly from person to person. Meredith now knew there was no escape and any moment now, the bus driver would begin to restrain and inject the other hapless passengers...	Metabolic Machine
"Damn Those Body Shop Bastards! Damn Them To Hell!" She Thought To Herself. "If They Hadn't Campaigned Against Animal Testing These Secret Control Tests Would Never Have Been Given The Green Light!". She Wondered Which Particular Corporation Was Funding This Little Excursion.. She Had A Feeling It Was Pepsi.	Jesse
Suddenly the bus door opened and in stepped a woman of formidable presence. She was tall and thin but muscular. She was decked out in a hot pink leather mini dress and her hair was teased and sprayed and piled up into an incredible 3 foot high strawberry blonde beehive. "Vashondra Du Lunchenette!" Bitzy and Tiki cried from their seats. "Thank the Goddess you're here!" continued Bitzy. "Janice has lost her mind and she's about to inject us with some kind of virus!" Tiki added. Meredith couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was like something out of a bad horror film and she pinched herself to make sure this wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare. Janice turned on her heel and ran at Vashondra with the hypodermic needle. Vashondra grabbed Janice by the wrists and threw her out of the bus. She jumped into the driver's seat and closed the bus door. Meredith could feel a panic attack coming on.	cuddles
And Meredith didn't like feeling nervous. So she pushed the cuckoo bus driver out of the way and took over at the wheel. She'd only driven small compacts, a ford escort and then a taurus when she got a raise at work. But this was different. She turned the wheel as hard and fast as her thin short arms would go. The bus flipped over immediately, throwing everyone into the air, out the windows, and against the ground.	jean
"I'm going to be late for work. I'm going to be late for work..." panted Meredith like a sacred mantra. She'd always been so proud of her punctuality. Most days she was even as much as ten minutes early. She had always been able to calculate possible impediments to her arriving punctually. Roadwork, bad traffic, the number of stoplights between her and a given destination, She'd always been able to account for but not a hijacked bus and an accident. "Oh my! " she thought to herself with a rising panic,"an accident! I'll be late. I'll have to stay and wait for the police and tell them all about it. I may even get home late and Mr.Tickles will get his dinner late and he'll sulk for days and hide behind the couch. Oh my. oh my oh my oh my!" This was the most upsetting thing that had ever happened to her. If she had known something like this were going to happen she would've worn more sensible shoes for it.	Lanark

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