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Chapter 5

The Story The Authors

Now Tiki (whom you may have forgotten about, gentle reader, due to what may seem our heartless neglect of her, but is in fact due to her insipid sneaking around and voyeurizing on scenes outside the scope of this particular story, no matter how much of our precious Valium we share with her) had a secret to share with the others. Philip Welsh

She had always wanted to be a silhouette. Just the outline of a person so you'd know it was a human you were dealing with, but then all filled up like a shadow. Omigod

But that was not her only secret. Tiki still remembered with painful clarity the ill-fated business venture in which Bitzy and Vashondra nearly coerced her into participating. And now suddenly they were hell bent on getting into the world saving business. It didn't really make sense to Tiki, but what did it matter now? The fact was, that Janice had superpowers now and Bitzy may even be endowed with superpowers of her own, judging by the way she disposed of Demetrius, and they now had an international crisis to diffuse. cuddles

Half of survival-of-the-fittest (that is, if you are going to remain one of those few, surviving Fittest) simply involves knowing whom and whom not to trust. tina banana

Keeping this in mind, she squeezed one of her doughy love-handles into a Ziploc baggy, which soon filled up with shadow, visibly deflating her just a wee bit. She zip-sealed the bag and, holding it between her teeth, kicked a chair into the center of the room and climbed up on top of it. Pushing a panel of the drop-ceiling up and aside, she pulled down a secret, collapsible ladder and climbed up into the labyrinth of ducts and pipes, kicking aside the chair and replacing the ceiling panel as she went. tina banana

"Tiki girl," she told herself, "When you're in the shit, time to paddle harder upstream."
With that, crawling on her hands and knees, she set out along the main HVAC compound-duct. Beneath her, through tiny pinpoints of light, and cracks in the ceilings, and clear lighting-fixtures, she could see the daily life of the hospital unfolding: nurses emptying bedpans and skillfully giving enemies, doctors bending nurses over trays of surgical instruments, latex-glove-swathed head nurses spanking naughty, naughty chief surgeons, breakfasts of tepid pap and gruel being delivered to coma patients via inter-cerebral tap-lines, tumors being removed then dutifully sent off to the great subterranean kitchens for tomorrow's gruel and pap. But none of this was what she was looking for. Following the pilfered hospital blueprints with a penlight clamped in her teeth, like a cigar, next to the Ziplock bag of shadow, she turned East at the HVAC terminus and followed a hot-water pipe into the East WIng of the hospital. Dr. Smack should just about be finishing his morning rounds and coming back to his office -- beneath her now! -- for a break. And she knew what he did there when the door was locked. She'd seen the Morse code transmitter, the vaseline, the scale-model replica of the same Iron Sausage which only yesterday had come so close to killing poor Janice. But more than all of this, she knew what she was going to do to him. She settled down into a comfortable vigilance and clamped the bag of shadow more firmly between her teeth. She could be patient as the day was long. She waited. Below her, footsteps sounded in the main corridor. Philip Welsh

Dr. Smack entered the room, still wearing his Dastardly Dan costume, and he was not alone. He was leading someone, a woman, into the room by the hand. Dr. Smack's wide brimmed black hat blocked Tiki's view of the woman's face. Tiki sighed, she'd have to wait until the woman left before she could give Dr. Smack the surprise of his life and she was beginning to get a cramp from crouching in HVAC compound-duct over his office. Tiki silently watched the couple below her, tiny beads of sweat broke out on Tiki's forehead and saliva dripped down the penlight and the Ziploc bag of shadow, but she dared not move for fear of being detected. Suddenly, the women knocked the hat off of Dr. Smack's head and Tiki finally got a clear view of the woman's face. It was Bitzy Bootleg. Damn her! She was always beating Tiki to the punch. Tiki gritted her teeth which caused a tiny rip in the plastic Ziploc bag of shadow. cuddles

The Story	The Authors
Now Tiki (whom you may have forgotten about, gentle reader, due to what may seem our heartless neglect of her, but is in fact due to her insipid sneaking around and voyeurizing on scenes outside the scope of this particular story, no matter how much of our precious Valium we share with her) had a secret to share with the others.	Philip Welsh
She had always wanted to be a silhouette. Just the outline of a person so you'd know it was a human you were dealing with, but then all filled up like a shadow.	Omigod
But that was not her only secret. Tiki still remembered with painful clarity the ill-fated business venture in which Bitzy and Vashondra nearly coerced her into participating. And now suddenly they were hell bent on getting into the world saving business. It didn't really make sense to Tiki, but what did it matter now? The fact was, that Janice had superpowers now and Bitzy may even be endowed with superpowers of her own, judging by the way she disposed of Demetrius, and they now had an international crisis to diffuse.	cuddles
Half of survival-of-the-fittest (that is, if you are going to remain one of those few, surviving Fittest) simply involves knowing whom and whom not to trust.	tina banana
Keeping this in mind, she squeezed one of her doughy love-handles into a Ziploc baggy, which soon filled up with shadow, visibly deflating her just a wee bit. She zip-sealed the bag and, holding it between her teeth, kicked a chair into the center of the room and climbed up on top of it. Pushing a panel of the drop-ceiling up and aside, she pulled down a secret, collapsible ladder and climbed up into the labyrinth of ducts and pipes, kicking aside the chair and replacing the ceiling panel as she went.	tina banana
"Tiki girl," she told herself, "When you're in the shit, time to paddle harder upstream." With that, crawling on her hands and knees, she set out along the main HVAC compound-duct. Beneath her, through tiny pinpoints of light, and cracks in the ceilings, and clear lighting-fixtures, she could see the daily life of the hospital unfolding: nurses emptying bedpans and skillfully giving enemies, doctors bending nurses over trays of surgical instruments, latex-glove-swathed head nurses spanking naughty, naughty chief surgeons, breakfasts of tepid pap and gruel being delivered to coma patients via inter-cerebral tap-lines, tumors being removed then dutifully sent off to the great subterranean kitchens for tomorrow's gruel and pap. But none of this was what she was looking for. Following the pilfered hospital blueprints with a penlight clamped in her teeth, like a cigar, next to the Ziplock bag of shadow, she turned East at the HVAC terminus and followed a hot-water pipe into the East WIng of the hospital. Dr. Smack should just about be finishing his morning rounds and coming back to his office -- beneath her now! -- for a break. And she knew what he did there when the door was locked. She'd seen the Morse code transmitter, the vaseline, the scale-model replica of the same Iron Sausage which only yesterday had come so close to killing poor Janice. But more than all of this, she knew what she was going to do to him. She settled down into a comfortable vigilance and clamped the bag of shadow more firmly between her teeth. She could be patient as the day was long. She waited. Below her, footsteps sounded in the main corridor.	Philip Welsh
Dr. Smack entered the room, still wearing his Dastardly Dan costume, and he was not alone. He was leading someone, a woman, into the room by the hand. Dr. Smack's wide brimmed black hat blocked Tiki's view of the woman's face. Tiki sighed, she'd have to wait until the woman left before she could give Dr. Smack the surprise of his life and she was beginning to get a cramp from crouching in HVAC compound-duct over his office. Tiki silently watched the couple below her, tiny beads of sweat broke out on Tiki's forehead and saliva dripped down the penlight and the Ziploc bag of shadow, but she dared not move for fear of being detected. Suddenly, the women knocked the hat off of Dr. Smack's head and Tiki finally got a clear view of the woman's face. It was Bitzy Bootleg. Damn her! She was always beating Tiki to the punch. Tiki gritted her teeth which caused a tiny rip in the plastic Ziploc bag of shadow.	cuddles

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