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Chapter 5

The Story The Authors

"Oh my God! Where's Candace?" someone yelled in the midst of the chanting, sobbing, grunting. "Who cares?!" cried Tiki, still pinned on the filthy cinema floor. "Help get this hippopotamus-woman off of me!! Ewww! I think I'm lying on some vomit!" Just then, a stifled cry for help and the slamming of an emergency side-exit door was heard. Vashondra, always the level-headed one (for one had to be, with a beehive like that), decided this disturbance to their "girls' night out" had gone far enough. After comforting her friend Bitzy and warning her that her head may get wedged between her breasts if she insisted on crying on them like that, Vashondra shouted at the top of her alcohol inflammed throat, splice girl

"Only Godzilla can save us now!" "Excuse me?" Bitzy stopped sobbing. Tiki would have said "What!" but she was too busy turning blue because she had a knee on her throat. "Shut up!" said the jiggling mound of flesh that had Tiki pinned to the sticky cinema floor. "Oh, I'm sorry," said Vashondra. "What I meant to say was: Eat lead, Gargantua!" Vashondra reached into her 3 foot high strawberry blond beehive and pulled out an uzie. Polly Plus-size screached and leaped of Tiki faster than Vashondra imagined a woman that size could and ran to the manager's office to demand her money back. Vashondra tucked the weapon back into her gravity defying do and she and Bitzy pulled Tiki, who was still gasping for air, off the floor. "C'mon, girls! Let's go get Candace!" Said Vashondra as she led them out the side exit door. cuddles

The loudspeaker crackled before coming to life, "ATTENTION CINEMA PATRONS...We regretfully tell you that the remainder of this presentation has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. If anyone knows the identity of four miniskirted womyn who have brought contraband food into the theater or Redhaired Rasputin like man with a goatee, please come to the box office. You will be given unlimited popcorn for your troubles. AGAIN PLEASE EXCUSE THIS INTERUPTION AND PLEASE VACATE THE THEATER UNLESS YOU HAVE INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF THE PERSONAGES WHO HAVE ABSCONDED WITH TODAYS RECEIPTS. anatol

"Unlimited popcorn!" yelled a large woman in the front row. "Give it to me! Give it to me now!!" She ran to the box office, but was trampled by other equally large people all running to the box office. "Please help me!" she screamed, but everybody was too busy rushing to the popcorn. "Where is my popcorn?" they demanded. The man there said: "Excuse me folks, but none of you look like you really need anymore popcorn. So unless you can tell me the names of these women, please clear out." Just then, a mysterious man walked up and said: "I know who they are." flygirl

"Well?" said the effeminate young pimply faced manager impatiently. "Okay, the chick with the big hair is Vashondra Du Lunchenette. She drives a lime green convertable mustang. Then there's her best friend and side-kick Bitzy Bootleg. Her hair isn't quite as big as Vashondra's. Tiki Dinette is new to the gang but she doesn't have big hair, they all drink martinis. And then there is Candace, she's the newest addition so I don't know much about her. Can I have the popcorn now?" Meanwhile, Vashondra, Bitzy and Tiki had followed Candace and her captors out to the parking lot. The villains had forced Candace into an old black BMW and drove away. Vash, Bitz and Tiki jumped into Vash's mustang and sped after them. none

The manager let him into the inner sanctuary where popcorn was abundant. "What is your name my friend, and what do you know of these women?" the maanger asked gingerly. "I am the reincarnation of Jack Kerouac....you may use that appellation and the women are from the Symbionese Liberation Front. The behibe hairdo chick is the leader, formerly known as Mizmoon. Her partner is Camilla Hall who now calls herself Bitzy...I don't know the others, it could be Angela Atwood or even Patsy herself, where is the popcorn?" Officer Muldoon of the SFPD had arrived on the scene. He eyed the alleged snitch with suspicion as he tapped the spout of the diet coke machine. "Damn ther is never enough ice and it ain't like the olden days where they would give you a shot of rum to go with your coke," he lamented. "Let this fool go" Officer Muldoon ordered,"He's having acid flashbacks from the sixties and we don't want an ADA charge against us." elan

The Story	The Authors
"Oh my God! Where's Candace?" someone yelled in the midst of the chanting, sobbing, grunting. "Who cares?!" cried Tiki, still pinned on the filthy cinema floor. "Help get this hippopotamus-woman off of me!! Ewww! I think I'm lying on some vomit!" Just then, a stifled cry for help and the slamming of an emergency side-exit door was heard. Vashondra, always the level-headed one (for one had to be, with a beehive like that), decided this disturbance to their "girls' night out" had gone far enough. After comforting her friend Bitzy and warning her that her head may get wedged between her breasts if she insisted on crying on them like that, Vashondra shouted at the top of her alcohol inflammed throat,	splice girl
"Only Godzilla can save us now!" "Excuse me?" Bitzy stopped sobbing. Tiki would have said "What!" but she was too busy turning blue because she had a knee on her throat. "Shut up!" said the jiggling mound of flesh that had Tiki pinned to the sticky cinema floor. "Oh, I'm sorry," said Vashondra. "What I meant to say was: Eat lead, Gargantua!" Vashondra reached into her 3 foot high strawberry blond beehive and pulled out an uzie. Polly Plus-size screached and leaped of Tiki faster than Vashondra imagined a woman that size could and ran to the manager's office to demand her money back. Vashondra tucked the weapon back into her gravity defying do and she and Bitzy pulled Tiki, who was still gasping for air, off the floor. "C'mon, girls! Let's go get Candace!" Said Vashondra as she led them out the side exit door.	cuddles
The loudspeaker crackled before coming to life, "ATTENTION CINEMA PATRONS...We regretfully tell you that the remainder of this presentation has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. If anyone knows the identity of four miniskirted womyn who have brought contraband food into the theater or Redhaired Rasputin like man with a goatee, please come to the box office. You will be given unlimited popcorn for your troubles. AGAIN PLEASE EXCUSE THIS INTERUPTION AND PLEASE VACATE THE THEATER UNLESS YOU HAVE INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF THE PERSONAGES WHO HAVE ABSCONDED WITH TODAYS RECEIPTS.	anatol
"Unlimited popcorn!" yelled a large woman in the front row. "Give it to me! Give it to me now!!" She ran to the box office, but was trampled by other equally large people all running to the box office. "Please help me!" she screamed, but everybody was too busy rushing to the popcorn. "Where is my popcorn?" they demanded. The man there said: "Excuse me folks, but none of you look like you really need anymore popcorn. So unless you can tell me the names of these women, please clear out." Just then, a mysterious man walked up and said: "I know who they are."	flygirl
"Well?" said the effeminate young pimply faced manager impatiently. "Okay, the chick with the big hair is Vashondra Du Lunchenette. She drives a lime green convertable mustang. Then there's her best friend and side-kick Bitzy Bootleg. Her hair isn't quite as big as Vashondra's. Tiki Dinette is new to the gang but she doesn't have big hair, they all drink martinis. And then there is Candace, she's the newest addition so I don't know much about her. Can I have the popcorn now?" Meanwhile, Vashondra, Bitzy and Tiki had followed Candace and her captors out to the parking lot. The villains had forced Candace into an old black BMW and drove away. Vash, Bitz and Tiki jumped into Vash's mustang and sped after them.	none
The manager let him into the inner sanctuary where popcorn was abundant. "What is your name my friend, and what do you know of these women?" the maanger asked gingerly. "I am the reincarnation of Jack Kerouac....you may use that appellation and the women are from the Symbionese Liberation Front. The behibe hairdo chick is the leader, formerly known as Mizmoon. Her partner is Camilla Hall who now calls herself Bitzy...I don't know the others, it could be Angela Atwood or even Patsy herself, where is the popcorn?" Officer Muldoon of the SFPD had arrived on the scene. He eyed the alleged snitch with suspicion as he tapped the spout of the diet coke machine. "Damn ther is never enough ice and it ain't like the olden days where they would give you a shot of rum to go with your coke," he lamented. "Let this fool go" Officer Muldoon ordered,"He's having acid flashbacks from the sixties and we don't want an ADA charge against us."	elan

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