Chapter 2
| The Story | The Authors |
|---|---|
| Jim and Fred had heard of these pills and eagerly gobbled them up. But unfortunately they had read the label wrong. They thought the label said "Viagara" but it actually said "Niagra". Within seconds of swallowing the pills, the two men were overcome with the urge to urinate. Amanda watched from the bed as Jim and Fred scurried around the room looking for a place to relieve themselves. When finally they could no longer hold it, the flood gates opened. Amanda screamed as the small room began to fill with urine. Janice, Kristi, Dianne, Vashondra and Bitzy laughed riotously as they watched the scene through a two way mirror. "Oh, I can't stand it anymore!" Janice said wiping away the tears. "Let's jettison these freaks and get on with our adventure." she continued, calming down. Vashondra agreed and pulled a lever that separated the piss filled pod containing the threesome from the space ship and sent them adrift in space. "You know," said Kristi, "It was a good thing we were able to throw Joey-Jane, Steve and Chrissy into that horrible murder machine that turned them all into hamburger meat which we sold to Mc Donalds' and then convert the machine into this awesome space ship." "Yeah," agreed Bitzy, serving petit fores to her friends from a silver tray. | |
| oh well whats new? | |
| Obviously, nothing here. Because those screwy characters seem to be coming back. | |
| It was one of those days you wish never happened yet when the day was through, you'd long for the memory. The sun beat down heavily on the dusty main road that led into town. The water tower in all its off-blue glory loomed over the railroad tracks below. It has stood adamantely there on the outskirts of Freyville for decades, weather-beaten and scarred yet still erect, symbolizing the townfolk's pride of never being a loser even after you have lost everything. | |
| Then the crashed Andalite ship landed and nothing was ever the same again. | |
| Untill, one day, an alien was founded near the ship getting busy with another alien and they had 10 babies. | |
| Untill, one day, an alien was founded near the ship getting busy with another alien and they had 10 babies. | |
| But it turned out that one of the creatures they thought to be a baby was really a alien-eating space worm. It devoured the whole immoral family of aliens in one chomp. | |
| But he didn't want to see yet another dumbass movie about an alien chimp. So he grabbed his skateboard and headed out to the park. | |
| Upon reaching the park, he heard a sudden noise from behind. It was the type of sound that feels like a large, soft kitten slowly contemplating his remaining lives behind you. Anticipating the worst, his hand quickly flew up to his hair to adjust the part, but in vain. It seemed styling mousse always did that to him, no matter how much he put on... | |
| The night air was filled with the aroma of springtime and freshness. Stars speckled the sky like thousands of silvery spots on a velvet black blanket. The stillness was like an eerie hand waiting to reach out and grab the first passerby, and the feeling of terror welled up from the depths of his being. | |
| And then I kissed the trash can! | |
| "Eeeeeww! Bitzy, that's disgusting!" Vashondra Du Lunchenette said in response to her friend's confession of yet another drunken stupor. "Girlfriend, you need to lay off the tequila! Here, have a vodka martini instead." Vashondra said handing Bitzy a cocktail glass that she had extracted from her 3 foot high strawberry blond beehive. She poured a drink for her friend and herself and then stuffed her cocktail shaker back into her hair. The two fabulously attired women sipped their drinks and decided to call up their old friend Janice to see what she was up to these days. They dialed the number but a recording said the number had been disconnected. Vashondra thought that was odd. | |
| Janice was keen on odd numbers. She'd never had an even phone number in her life | |
| Then on moving to Sasketoon, Nebraska she was issued phone #357-9173, this changed her life as she was not able it imagine. | |
| She diled up her long time ex-boyfriend. | |
| Who still liked her. They stared to talk and found out they still had a few things in common. "Why don't we meet sometime soon" he said "I still miss our wondreful time together." | |
| "Oh, well" She said "At least I can know kill Jack Cougiout" | |
| "But that would be horrible, you'd land your self in the slammer" He dramaticly said | |
| "Come to think of it I might as well kill you too" | |
| "Kill me?", she politely asked. "Yes, my dear. You must die." He cast a judgmental glare at her, then added. "You see, I never liked you, though I made it seem as if you were the girl of my dreams. You fell for it, baby. Fell for it hard. I had you around my finger like a cheap crackerjack ring. Yeah, that's right. Cheap! You were nothing but a cheap goodtime girl. And now your time has expired, baby. It's time to say goodbye...and good riddance." He reached into his jacket for his revolver. "Wait..." she said. "Before you kill me, there is something you must know..." | |
| She glanced straight into his eyes and smiled "I never just roll over and fall asleep, but I know pigs like you do. Well, I have some news for you." Just then he know what she had meant. The revolver wasn't in his pocket. His eyes grew wide with fear, the very fear he had meant for her. She pulled the strong steel from out of her jeans, grinning at the thought that in a matter of minutes his brains would be scattered across the floor she had scraped her knees against. She could smell the fear and agony dripping from him. She said no words, enjoying the moment, as if it were her last, and not his. And then inside her, she heard a voice. It cried out in pain, and she dropped to the floor in one fast fall. He smiled at the sight of her laying on the cold ground, begging for the pain to subside. He reached down at her, grabbed the revolver, but in an instant she knew what she had to do... | |
| The voice in her head cried out again, this time giving her strength. She lunged her left foot as far and as fast as she could into his stomach. "help her..." The voices cried out. The man, only known as Neil, fell backward, into the kitchen table. His head struck a corner and he was blacked out in less than a second. "help her...." The woman clawled at her head, in an attempt to make the voices stop, but they raced and whispered to her..."Help her..." There was only one thing that the blonde called Kasey could do...and that was run. So, she took off out of the tacky trailer hidden in the back of the foothills, and ran along until she came to the railroad crossing. She stared up into the sky, searching for answers, finding only the stars to comfort the sounds of the voices in her mind. She crawled across the tracks, not making a sound. There were no houses for miles, and she still held tight onto the revolver. She creeped into a culvert pipe made for the over flow of the river, and stood in the eight foot high pipe, catching her breath and her thoughts. With her eyes closed she tried to make sense of what had just happened. She was with him, he tried to kill her, she got away. But why had these whispers inside her driven her here. Suddenly, she opened her eyes, and unknown to her, her once beautiful blue eyes had been turned into those of a wild panther. She could see like she had never before, and instead of the voices in her head, no there were the sounds of the night. She breathed in the nigth air, and smelt the distant smell of blood. It was familiar, and she tried to recall where she knew it from. A man...? A dying man...? She couldn't remember. The gun in her hand fell softly into the mud that waded around her feet, and she took careful steps to leave the pipe, no trails, all instinct. She climbed into a lofty tree nearby, and peared into a new night. She had a purpose. But now she must rest. There would be time for her to get there, where ever she was detined to go. | |
| As she slept, her body changed into a long, lovely, lithe panther, with blood-streaked fur under her handsome head. Alas, her mind remained that ofof of Kasey, the terrified woman. When she awoke from her nightmare, the tra nsformation was real. Bewildered at first, she screamed into the daylight a blood-curling yowl of apprehension. Suddenly realizing that the man was no longer a threat, she began to admire her new form. Soon the metamor- phosis was complete, and Kasey the panther began to groom her fur. In the process, she lost her Kasey identity and began to purr. | |
| She ate a pickled gherkin and grew three large spots | |
| She scrambled through the stagnant pools and the thick briar. The thorns tore at her coat and the burrs clung tenaciously. Feeling ragged and out of energy, she finally emerged from the undergrowth triumphantly but dead tired. Her three large spots were barely visible now on her bloodstained fur. She slowly pulled herself up a large mangrove tree and sat down to llick herself clean. Did she finally escape her doom? There was a strange feeling inside her telling her something was not right. The sound of a machete hacking away at wild brush and vines was heard at the distance, but was slowly growing louder as the unknown entity approached, the same entity that had been tracking her all over the jungle! Damnit! she growled. She looked ahead of her. The jungle cleared and gave way to a grassy meadow, with a only a few sparse trees scattered widely apart. A large panther like herself would stand out like a sore thumb. She looked behind at the dark jungle, where her unknown nemesis was lurking and approaching fast, and indeed he, she, or it was an excellent tracker. Her heart was racing. Where could she hide now? | |
| What was she goinging to do... | |
| she had no money, only the hair on her back. It was cold but she had to go. There was no other choice. Ever since the surgery that cut her Siamese sister loose she knew... | |
| she was doomed to be a nothing. A complete nothing in the annals of time. Wearily she picked up her houndstooth bag and slung it across her bony shoulder. If only her beloved... | |
| Jacob would be here with her. And they would me able to make.. | |
| cookies and love and fools of themselves. | |
| But it was never meant to be that way. She ran. She ran as quickly as her stubby legs would allow her. She was running away from his memory. The thought of losing him to another woman was too much for her. And the other woman wasn't even gorgeous! She was a middle-aged woman from Boise! Having been tossed aside for a bland stick-woman with a bun in her hair sent poor Alice's self-esteem flying out the figurative window. She ran on, with no idea where she was going or what to expect when she got there. Finally, she reached the edge of a rather large chasm. It was well over 30 feet wide, too wide for her to jump, and it lay across her path to the far left and the far right beyond her vision. There was no way to go around it. She looked around and soon spotted a rickety old suspension bridge that allowed passage to the other side of the gap. Rickety or not, she was compelled to continue running! So, without breaking her stride, she ran towards the old swaying bridge and started across... | |
| Swaying back and forth she thought she would toss her cookies if she dared to look down. The klangle and creeks of the suspension bridge only made her race faster and harder to cross before it collapsed. She was in a trance, scenes off the Bridge Over the River Kwai ran it her demented mind. Finally with a foot plante on terra firma, muddy as it might be, she collapsed. For a moment she cam e to her senses....pull the stake that holds the bottom rung of the bridge. With a thunderous roar the boards and ropes came crashing into the chasm. So tired and hot she was with prickly wet filthy skin she knew she must take her bra off and sleep. | |
| but she could not rech her back to unsnap the infernal thing so she slept with it on inthe heat of the sun. And as she lay baking for those she ran form to see. the clouds hid the sky and all became dark, protectingher from those weapons that could reach across the gorge. When she awoke she was startled and knew not where she was. But only for a second and then she remembered and panicked. | |
| then a bird made alittle doodoo on her | |
| She ran to the kitchen to clean up, but the water was out! The only other liquid in there was red hot tobasco sauce. And what do you know?? The poop was on her face. | |
| She had to get it off and it was already dry. She shook the tobasco sauce all over her face, and screamed all the time from the burning of her skin. A little drop fell into her mouth and she choked as there was no water, or anything else for that matter, to wash it out. Then to her amazement, in walked her sexy sidekick, Leo, with a bagful of groceries. She ran towards him, hoping that he had bought something useful. Shockingly she found that he had bought 6 bottles of water! And also a.... | |
| case of tabasco sauce. Ugh. It was the last thing she needed. | |
| Where had it come from, she wondered lightly. There were no traces of the sckull, once fractured, anywhere near this place. The thought rolled over and over in her head. | |
| But then it came to her. The idea that among all those late night parties, and wedged between each guy she met and left was a purpose. It was there, no doubt. It had called her into this state, tobasco sauce or not, it had called her here. This dingy trailer, into this god-forsaken trap. As for her side-kick. There was never one. A woman like her didn't need one. They called for worry, and constant fixing of their uniform, either too big, or too small. She knew better than to waste her life away like that. Even when her mind wandered to the ones before, she cared lightly, giving them to some woman who knew how to take better care of those drunken losers. She was made for more. But of course, right now she needed a shower. And a change of clothes. Pesky panther hair had covered her for the past few nights, and she knew not why. She could only wake up and there it would be, day after day. Her memory was for a lost. But when she reached the shower located in the back of the old rusted trailer, she stripped down, thinking with the water, as she let it flow into the tub. Her eyes were in a daze, and there was nothing to relieve her from this state. But she cleaned, got out, and dressed. Outside it was already dark, with no sign of any people nearby. She searched the trailer once more and found a hidden hatch in the back bedroom closet. The bed was made, but there had been no sign of life in the place for months. Her eyes fixed on the small door, and her mind wandered into another place and time... | |
| She had become Tanaya, the ruthless Amazon queen, who with an iron fist and fingernails painted jungle red, ruled over the filth of the land, namely men. | |
| Her beast like manner called to every man. They clung to her, called her name in their sleep,, but she cared not for them, only her own future. They gave her every desire a woman could every want, but she refused them, smiling at their pain and greif, the pain and grief she had caused. | |
| Annabelle paused. Her stories were the best, but not this one. "I can't go on." she groaned. Janine gave her a friendly punch on the shoulder. "Yes you can. Go on!" Janine said. Annabelle sighed. Janine always won her fights. "Okay, here goes." Annabelle said." | |
| So she gave in, knowing the better part in her couldn't fight what was going to happen. | |
| He suddendly began to unzip his pants, but screamed as he realized that he had gotten a part of his anatomy stuck in the zipper. She sat on the bed and laughed hysterically.... | |
| You Feel Happy.I Feel Sad. Can You Help me Feel Happy. | |
| I LOVE YOU. I HAVE A YO-YO. | |
| I LOVE YOU. I HAVE A YO-YO.I FEEL HAPPY.AND MY BORTHER RAHIM | |
| I LOVE YOU. I HAVE A YO-YO.I FEEL HAPPY. MY BORTHER RAHIM. I MARRY YOU.I CAN SIKP.I CAN JOP.I CAN KILL YOU. | |
| I LOVE YOU. I HAVE A YO-YO.I FEEL HAPPY. MY BORTHER RAHIM. I MARRY YOU.I CAN SIKP.I CAN JOP.I CAN KILL YOU.I HAVE A PET RABBIT. | |