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Chapter 1

The Story The Authors

"Bastard? My, Bitzy, you certainly sound murderous today," crooned Frank Sinatra, Bitzy's lover-of-the-day, perched on his fantabulously expensive motorcycle. It was at that time that Bitzy realized she was at the Pearly Gates, with St. Peter's log cabin nearby. wacko2

But she didn't stay long because Kristi resusticated her. Bitzy sputtered and threw up water. "Are you OK?" asked Kristi. "I was before, now I have to come back!" replied Bitzy confusedly. "WHAT??" asked Kristi. "Bitzy," said Janice, "you fell out of the pickup truck, knocked yourself out, and slid into the lake." "Oh," said Bitzy. She realized everyone was there: Dianne the angel, Janice, Kristi, and Vashondra de Luchinette (Bitzy's best friend). Once bitzy was better they needed a new adventure. They couldn't decide what to do. Janice wanted to climb Mount Everest. Kristi wanted to take a ride in outer space. Dianne wanted to launch a campaign against sex in this story. Vashondra wanted to go back to the scary amusement park. They were going to decide to climb mount Everest, stop at the scary amusement park halfway up, get into a rochet ship on the very top, fly to a satelite, and broadcast Dianne's antiporno program from there, but Bitzy wasn't feeling so good after almost drowning so they went back home. Unfortunately, EVIL JOEY-JANE was still trying to somehow kill the fictional five, and now she was being helped by Steve and Chrissy! Janice, Kristi, Dianne, Vashondra, and Bitzy DOOMED? Sure looks like it! Carolyn

NO they weren't doomed because luckily someone showed up. Who was this mystery someone that could save their lives? SOmeone Special

Courtney rushed over to Sam. She was panting like a dog. "I im te fif elmint. I poocet." Courtney said. Sam laughed. "Oh, yeah. And I'm a very model of a modern major general. I relate to all vegetable animal, and mineral. I am the very model of a modern major general." Sam said. Courtney glared at Sam. All of a sudden, trumpets blasted and drums were pounded. Eighteen women came over, dressed in sexy suits. "The star light express, the star light express. Who could transverse this star light express." the women sang in high pitched voices. "And in my heart, I feel, that you're not being true to me. Even in my heart, I know, that something is just so, so so." Brian from the Backstreet Boys came over. Melissa, his girlfriend followed. "Hat i going on?" Courtney asked. Sam wasn't listening. "Whooooooooooooooo, would dare for a guy like meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, would you love me soooooooooooooooooooooo? Oh, oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Sam was singing in a tuxedo. All of a sudden, the clouds departed. Everyone looked up, horrified. Everyone except Courtney. She was smiling. It was.... Diane

Janice, Kristi, Dianne, Vashondra, and Bitzy emerged out of the mist from the malfunctioning fog machine and cleared the theatre. Suddenly the walls ripped open. Joey-Jane The Evil, assisted by Steve and Chrissy, walked in. They soon cornered the unfortunate Fictional Five with huge guns. Joey-Jane read off a big peice of paper: "If you do not meet our demands we will blow your heads off. NUMBER ONE stop coming binto the story. NUMBER TWO turn this into a sex story.UMBER THREE eat nothing but liver and spinach. NUMBER FOUR let us kill you in the most painfull scary and messy way we imagine. NUMBER FIVE -" Suddenly Janice spoke up. "WE'll never do ANY of those things!" "FIne hen," said JoeyJane, "come with me." hen she took them all to a really gruesome painful murder machine. "We will push you in right now," said Joey-Janne. Suddenly a voice rang out. "STOP!!!!!!!!!" The Fictional Five were saved! Or were they? Carolyn

No. Wait. What the heck. I dont get this. Save me mommy! Amanda stared at her paper. She was bored writing about Janice, Kristi, Dianne, Vashondra, Bitzy, and all the others. The door slammed open. It was a robber. He said... none

"Give me all your panties!" She couldn't believe her ears. Why would a robber demand all of her panties, it made no sense. "Umm, sir.." "YOU HEARD ME!" he screamed. "NOW! All your panties! Those frilly ones too, the ones that Bob said were his favorite." Amanda nearly fainted. "Could I just give you some money and you could go buy your own at Victoria's Secret?" The robber was getting more and more upset. "I think you heard me." So now, with more than a little bit of regret she trudged into her bedroom and went straight to the drawer which contained her unmentionables.. She had an idea that he already knew where they were. But on her way she passed her bathroom. A toilet plunger was very near the door and she knew this might be her only hope. She didn't think a plunger was a very good defense against a .357 but it would have to do. In the blink of an eye, she grabbed the plunger, turned around to face the robber and... Norman Mailer

The Story	The Authors
"Bastard? My, Bitzy, you certainly sound murderous today," crooned Frank Sinatra, Bitzy's lover-of-the-day, perched on his fantabulously expensive motorcycle. It was at that time that Bitzy realized she was at the Pearly Gates, with St. Peter's log cabin nearby.	wacko2
But she didn't stay long because Kristi resusticated her. Bitzy sputtered and threw up water. "Are you OK?" asked Kristi. "I was before, now I have to come back!" replied Bitzy confusedly. "WHAT??" asked Kristi. "Bitzy," said Janice, "you fell out of the pickup truck, knocked yourself out, and slid into the lake." "Oh," said Bitzy. She realized everyone was there: Dianne the angel, Janice, Kristi, and Vashondra de Luchinette (Bitzy's best friend). Once bitzy was better they needed a new adventure. They couldn't decide what to do. Janice wanted to climb Mount Everest. Kristi wanted to take a ride in outer space. Dianne wanted to launch a campaign against sex in this story. Vashondra wanted to go back to the scary amusement park. They were going to decide to climb mount Everest, stop at the scary amusement park halfway up, get into a rochet ship on the very top, fly to a satelite, and broadcast Dianne's antiporno program from there, but Bitzy wasn't feeling so good after almost drowning so they went back home. Unfortunately, EVIL JOEY-JANE was still trying to somehow kill the fictional five, and now she was being helped by Steve and Chrissy! Janice, Kristi, Dianne, Vashondra, and Bitzy DOOMED? Sure looks like it!	Carolyn
NO they weren't doomed because luckily someone showed up. Who was this mystery someone that could save their lives?	SOmeone Special
Courtney rushed over to Sam. She was panting like a dog. "I im te fif elmint. I poocet." Courtney said. Sam laughed. "Oh, yeah. And I'm a very model of a modern major general. I relate to all vegetable animal, and mineral. I am the very model of a modern major general." Sam said. Courtney glared at Sam. All of a sudden, trumpets blasted and drums were pounded. Eighteen women came over, dressed in sexy suits. "The star light express, the star light express. Who could transverse this star light express." the women sang in high pitched voices. "And in my heart, I feel, that you're not being true to me. Even in my heart, I know, that something is just so, so so." Brian from the Backstreet Boys came over. Melissa, his girlfriend followed. "Hat i going on?" Courtney asked. Sam wasn't listening. "Whooooooooooooooo, would dare for a guy like meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, would you love me soooooooooooooooooooooo? Oh, oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Sam was singing in a tuxedo. All of a sudden, the clouds departed. Everyone looked up, horrified. Everyone except Courtney. She was smiling. It was....	Diane
Janice, Kristi, Dianne, Vashondra, and Bitzy emerged out of the mist from the malfunctioning fog machine and cleared the theatre. Suddenly the walls ripped open. Joey-Jane The Evil, assisted by Steve and Chrissy, walked in. They soon cornered the unfortunate Fictional Five with huge guns. Joey-Jane read off a big peice of paper: "If you do not meet our demands we will blow your heads off. NUMBER ONE stop coming binto the story. NUMBER TWO turn this into a sex story.UMBER THREE eat nothing but liver and spinach. NUMBER FOUR let us kill you in the most painfull scary and messy way we imagine. NUMBER FIVE -" Suddenly Janice spoke up. "WE'll never do ANY of those things!" "FIne hen," said JoeyJane, "come with me." hen she took them all to a really gruesome painful murder machine. "We will push you in right now," said Joey-Janne. Suddenly a voice rang out. "STOP!!!!!!!!!" The Fictional Five were saved! Or were they?	Carolyn
No. Wait. What the heck. I dont get this. Save me mommy! Amanda stared at her paper. She was bored writing about Janice, Kristi, Dianne, Vashondra, Bitzy, and all the others. The door slammed open. It was a robber. He said...	none
"Give me all your panties!" She couldn't believe her ears. Why would a robber demand all of her panties, it made no sense. "Umm, sir.." "YOU HEARD ME!" he screamed. "NOW! All your panties! Those frilly ones too, the ones that Bob said were his favorite." Amanda nearly fainted. "Could I just give you some money and you could go buy your own at Victoria's Secret?" The robber was getting more and more upset. "I think you heard me." So now, with more than a little bit of regret she trudged into her bedroom and went straight to the drawer which contained her unmentionables.. She had an idea that he already knew where they were. But on her way she passed her bathroom. A toilet plunger was very near the door and she knew this might be her only hope. She didn't think a plunger was a very good defense against a .357 but it would have to do. In the blink of an eye, she grabbed the plunger, turned around to face the robber and...	Norman Mailer

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