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Chapter 5

The Story The Authors

Guy jolted up suddenly. Damn, the whole bloody story had been another one of his alcohol induced delusions. This time, however, it seemed so real. He shook the hangover off, poured himself another strong cup of joe, and read a newspaper from 3 days ago. His apartment smelt of old whisky, stale cigarettes, and cheap perfume. Guy didn't smell so good himself. It had been 5 days since he last felt the need to clean himself up. 5 days worth of beard upon his face. 5 days worth of sweat dried on his clothes. 5 days of... The thought finally jolted Guy out of his wearyness like a knee to the groin. He had just wasted 5 days getting drunk. He now only had 2 days left. Pez DiSpencer

He now had only 2 days left before he married the girl of his mother's dreams. k-woman

Suddenly, the giant gravitron machine that had spun out of orbit lost power and came crashing down to earth, landing right on Guy and squishing him flat. He now had no more worries. With her red patent leather stiletto heeled pump, Vashondra kicked open the door of the gravitron. "Jesus Christ, what a ride!" she said. "Language!" Janice admonished her. "For God's sake, Janice," Vashondra replied, "We just fell down from fucking outer space and landed on some guy! I'll use whatever language I damn well feel like using." She pulled out her comb and touched up her 3 foot high strawberry blonde beehive. Kristi Bitzy and Dianne stumbled out of the smashed up machine. "Jesus Christ, what a ride!" they all said in unison. "Yes," Janice winced. "now, let's get out of here." "You got it, girlfriend!" Vashondra said. "But where the hell is my car?!" "Well it might be easier to figure that out if we knew where the hell we are." Kristi said. Janice rolled her eyes and thought to herself how the language was deteriorating at a rapid pace in this scene. But she decided not to say anything more about it. The girls all looked around to try to figure out where they were. "I think we're in France." Bitzy piped up. "How can you be so sure?" Kristi asked. "Well, look," Bitzy explained. "Everyone is wearing black berets and carrying bottles of red wine and loaves of bread." "Oo, how cliche France is." Vashondra said wrinkling her nose. "No, I think this is som strange Twilight Zone version of France. It's too wierd." Dianne said. "I think you are right, Dianne." Janice said. As they all looked around, they couldn't help but agree with Dianne. All the men wore black and white striped shirts with red scarves and black berets and they stood on the side walk painting pictures of scantily clad or nude women while drinking wine. All the shops along the road were boulangeries and whoever wasn't painting was sitting outside of the boulangeries drinking coffee. The hills in the distance were covered with vineyards and ancient monastic wineries. "This is too fucking creepy." Vashondra said. "Let's get the hell out of here." But it was too late. Maurice Chevalier walked up behind them and said... Sandy

"hey you, your must sit here in our little coffee house and enjoy the view!" so we all went to go sit down when we noticed that George was missing. we called for him but there was no answer! "oh no where did he go" everyone screamed. but then out of the blue popped up a look a like but we knew it wasn't george because he didn't have the constant toothpick in his teeth. so we all.... carlie

stared at him, intently. webwoman

Fake George, attempting to stare us all down, collapsed in a fit of giggles, then disappeared in a cloud of mystical smoke. webwoman

Then the real George came along. Everyone had left, except Janice the WEIRD but loving mom, Kristi, Dianne the angel, Vashondra de Luchinette with her immortal 3 foot high strawberry blonde beehive hair do, and Bitzy, always last AND one of the least. Janice pulled out her NEW remote control, which was good and was never used to avert danger, only to keep the "new pests", as Janice said, safely out of the story. She pressed a button and George turned into an adorably fuzzy cinnamon tabby cat. "Oh how cute," said Kristi, squatting down to pet him. "You're getting dust from the road on the bottom of your skirt," warned Vashondra. Kristi ignored her. George crawled into her lap. "You'll get cat hair on your lap," said Vashondra. Kristi kept petting George. Then George started licking her beehive hair do. Several locks of Kristi's chocolate-colored hair fell down and George began trying to eat them. "Oh, how cute," said Kristi. "Thatis the last straw!!!" said Vashondra. "That cat has to go!" "NO!!!" said Kristi. "YES!!!" said Vashondra. "MEOW!!!" said George. Kristi returned her attention to him. Janice said, "Oh, let him stay." And that was that but they still had to get back home. Then somehow they flew around the world and they were inside there house. "So what can we do with our lives now?" asked Bitzy. "You mean, our next adventure?" asked Dianne. "Yeah," said Bitzy. "Wait a minute," said Kristi. "I don't remember That Graviwhatever ride being on the list of rides." "Me neither," said Janice. Everyone agreed. Then someone ran up until they looked huge and said, "Look behind you dummies!" The fictional five turned and there were lots of seats with people in them. They realized that this was the Omnimax theatre so they walked out. Then they told the guard, "We used our ticket, we were in the Omnimax theatre, can we get out now?" "Yes," said the guard. They got out and drove home. Following them in a very small car were Joey-jane and Dawson, two sexy lovers who were determined to either kill the fictional five or drive them out of the story with sheer emberassment, fear, orwhatever. They would do anything to drive those girls out of the story and make it their own! And now was the time to do it. Carolyn

The Story	The Authors
Guy jolted up suddenly. Damn, the whole bloody story had been another one of his alcohol induced delusions. This time, however, it seemed so real. He shook the hangover off, poured himself another strong cup of joe, and read a newspaper from 3 days ago. His apartment smelt of old whisky, stale cigarettes, and cheap perfume. Guy didn't smell so good himself. It had been 5 days since he last felt the need to clean himself up. 5 days worth of beard upon his face. 5 days worth of sweat dried on his clothes. 5 days of... The thought finally jolted Guy out of his wearyness like a knee to the groin. He had just wasted 5 days getting drunk. He now only had 2 days left.	Pez DiSpencer
He now had only 2 days left before he married the girl of his mother's dreams.	k-woman
Suddenly, the giant gravitron machine that had spun out of orbit lost power and came crashing down to earth, landing right on Guy and squishing him flat. He now had no more worries. With her red patent leather stiletto heeled pump, Vashondra kicked open the door of the gravitron. "Jesus Christ, what a ride!" she said. "Language!" Janice admonished her. "For God's sake, Janice," Vashondra replied, "We just fell down from fucking outer space and landed on some guy! I'll use whatever language I damn well feel like using." She pulled out her comb and touched up her 3 foot high strawberry blonde beehive. Kristi Bitzy and Dianne stumbled out of the smashed up machine. "Jesus Christ, what a ride!" they all said in unison. "Yes," Janice winced. "now, let's get out of here." "You got it, girlfriend!" Vashondra said. "But where the hell is my car?!" "Well it might be easier to figure that out if we knew where the hell we are." Kristi said. Janice rolled her eyes and thought to herself how the language was deteriorating at a rapid pace in this scene. But she decided not to say anything more about it. The girls all looked around to try to figure out where they were. "I think we're in France." Bitzy piped up. "How can you be so sure?" Kristi asked. "Well, look," Bitzy explained. "Everyone is wearing black berets and carrying bottles of red wine and loaves of bread." "Oo, how cliche France is." Vashondra said wrinkling her nose. "No, I think this is som strange Twilight Zone version of France. It's too wierd." Dianne said. "I think you are right, Dianne." Janice said. As they all looked around, they couldn't help but agree with Dianne. All the men wore black and white striped shirts with red scarves and black berets and they stood on the side walk painting pictures of scantily clad or nude women while drinking wine. All the shops along the road were boulangeries and whoever wasn't painting was sitting outside of the boulangeries drinking coffee. The hills in the distance were covered with vineyards and ancient monastic wineries. "This is too fucking creepy." Vashondra said. "Let's get the hell out of here." But it was too late. Maurice Chevalier walked up behind them and said...	Sandy
"hey you, your must sit here in our little coffee house and enjoy the view!" so we all went to go sit down when we noticed that George was missing. we called for him but there was no answer! "oh no where did he go" everyone screamed. but then out of the blue popped up a look a like but we knew it wasn't george because he didn't have the constant toothpick in his teeth. so we all....	carlie
stared at him, intently.	webwoman
Fake George, attempting to stare us all down, collapsed in a fit of giggles, then disappeared in a cloud of mystical smoke.	webwoman
Then the real George came along. Everyone had left, except Janice the WEIRD but loving mom, Kristi, Dianne the angel, Vashondra de Luchinette with her immortal 3 foot high strawberry blonde beehive hair do, and Bitzy, always last AND one of the least. Janice pulled out her NEW remote control, which was good and was never used to avert danger, only to keep the "new pests", as Janice said, safely out of the story. She pressed a button and George turned into an adorably fuzzy cinnamon tabby cat. "Oh how cute," said Kristi, squatting down to pet him. "You're getting dust from the road on the bottom of your skirt," warned Vashondra. Kristi ignored her. George crawled into her lap. "You'll get cat hair on your lap," said Vashondra. Kristi kept petting George. Then George started licking her beehive hair do. Several locks of Kristi's chocolate-colored hair fell down and George began trying to eat them. "Oh, how cute," said Kristi. "Thatis the last straw!!!" said Vashondra. "That cat has to go!" "NO!!!" said Kristi. "YES!!!" said Vashondra. "MEOW!!!" said George. Kristi returned her attention to him. Janice said, "Oh, let him stay." And that was that but they still had to get back home. Then somehow they flew around the world and they were inside there house. "So what can we do with our lives now?" asked Bitzy. "You mean, our next adventure?" asked Dianne. "Yeah," said Bitzy. "Wait a minute," said Kristi. "I don't remember That Graviwhatever ride being on the list of rides." "Me neither," said Janice. Everyone agreed. Then someone ran up until they looked huge and said, "Look behind you dummies!" The fictional five turned and there were lots of seats with people in them. They realized that this was the Omnimax theatre so they walked out. Then they told the guard, "We used our ticket, we were in the Omnimax theatre, can we get out now?" "Yes," said the guard. They got out and drove home. Following them in a very small car were Joey-jane and Dawson, two sexy lovers who were determined to either kill the fictional five or drive them out of the story with sheer emberassment, fear, orwhatever. They would do anything to drive those girls out of the story and make it their own! And now was the time to do it.	Carolyn

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