Chapter 5
| The Story | The Authors |
|---|---|
| "Oh for crying out loud, Terrence! Can't you get anything right?" Everyone turned to see the shimmering ghost of Dianne hovering over a sand dune. "Well ain't this a regular family reunion!" Jeremy guffawed. "No, I wouldn't say it was regular." said the brainy Joel, obviously missing the joke. "Dianne!" shouted Terrence, "Thank the supreme being your here! Could you help me? You've always been better at this than me." "Of course I'll help you," Dianne replied, "That's why I'm here." Dianne raised her spectral arms and made a swirling motion. She dissolved into a cloud of smoke and swirled around Patrick. Then she reappeared on the other side of the group. Everyone stared at Patrick. "Hello," he said, "You're beautiful, would you like a donut? I saw a dog digging a trash can." "Oh great! Wonderful! Marvellous!" They all groaned. "I..I don't understand it." Dianne said, she was shocked at her failure. "Well there is only one thing to do." said Terence. "I'll just have to take posession of his body until we can figure out which spell we need to revive him." And before Dianne could say that was against the rules, Terence's ghost entered Patricks body. | |
| Patrick screamed. The terror in his voice becoming a visceral grating in the ears of those around him. He wasn't used to the feeling of another entity within the walls of his being. As the foreign presence entered, he began to tremble and felt himself disappearing, as if drowning in the coldest water. Then he felt warm but silenced. | |
| Quickly Terrence gained complete control of Patrick's body and he stopped screaming, much to the relief of the others. "So, are you Patrick now or are you Terrence?" Joel asked. "I'm Terrence now." said Patrick's body. "You should call me Terrence." "But what have you done with Patrick?" Janice asked. "He's fine. I have his personality deeply suppressed within the subconcious mind of this body. I can communicate with him and he with me, but not with anyone else." Terrence explained. "Terrence, this is totally against the rules. You must leave that body at once!" Dianne scolded him. "No, I promised I would fix what I had done to Patrick. And besides, I like it here. It feels good to be alive again." | |
| "But Terrence," Dianne said, "if you break the rules ten times in the same century you get sent to hell! You know that! And you already broke the rules nine times by... let's see ... dieing because of a crime that you were going to commit, denying it, killing those kids in Las Vegas just because they said bad words, denying that too, putting the killer virus in those Tamagotchi things, leaving your stupid nipple ring on the ground, putting that weird curse on poor Patrick, taking over Patrick's body, and then refusing to leave it. If you refuse again..." "Ah, shut up," said Terrence, "I never liked rules anyway." "Terrence!" complained Dianne. "It's against the rules to say that!" "NOOOO" screamed Janice. Suddenly Patrick's body crumpled to the ground. Janice rushed over, "Terrence terrence are you all right???" "I'm not Terrence I'm Patrick," said Patrick. "Gee, what happened anyway?" | |
| "Well, first you were cursed and then you were possessed by my dead son Terrence." Janice explained. "Hm, maybe I shouldn't have asked." Patrick said, rubbing his head. "Where is Terrence now?" Janice screamed at Dianne. "I sent him to Hell where he belongs!" she screamed back. "But Dianne," Kristi asserted, "You know there is no such thing as hell." "And how would you know? You've never been dead!" Dianne scowled. "Oh yes I have, dear sister. How soon you forget! And I know there is no such thing as hell." Terrence's ghost appeared behind Kristi. "You tell her, sis!" he said to Kristi. "Dianne, you are a control freak! You have been popping in and out of our lives changing things to suit you and imposing all sorts of rules on other ghostly beings." Dianne was shocked to be told off by 5 year old girl who was obviously wise beyond her years. "Well, I think we've all had enough of you and it's time Joel used his telekinetic powers to transport you to another dimension where you can't interfere with anyone's lives." "Can't we all just get along?" Jeremy whined. | |
| " I hate to have fighting!". Jeremy burst into hysterical tears. " I am so sorry. I just feel so.. so feminine! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! HELP HELP! HELP MY DEAD SOUL!". A voice unlike Jeremy's flew from his mouth. | |
| It was terrence's voice. Terrence's image flickered and died. "Where did he go?" asked Joel. "Oops..... heh heh, I lost the focus" said Dianne. But when the video of Terrence reappeared he was flaming and looked terrified and there were other people behind him. "OH....." said Kristi, "I guess hell does exist after all." Even Dianne looked shocked. "I should have just condemmed him to Purgatory for a while and seen if he changed his ways." "We've got to rescue him!!" said Janice. "But we would have to fight satan to to that!" gasped Dianne. "I don't care" said Janice "I want my son back! And Janice's voice made Dianne quake with fear because it was so furious. | |
| Joey clicked off the t.v. She collapsed on the bed with her best friend, Dawson. "That was the most stupid movie I've ever seen in my life." Joey commented. Dawson shook his head, smiling. He started laughing. He was looking at Joey. "What? What's so funny? Oh, Dawson!" she started laughing. Her bra was on the floor. Joey shifted uncomfortabley. Dawson stopped laughing. "What's wrong?" Dawson sounded concerned. Joey felt a sharp pain in her side. She looked around, but all she could see was Dawson and his room. She shook her head. Danielle, Dawson's younger sister, came running into the room. "Give Joey a kiss. I want to see a long kiss." Danielle demanded. Dawson gave pity eyes to Joey. Joey shrugged. Dawson took a deep breath and started toward her. Joey leaned forward. Their lips met, and their bottom lips started dancing. They were under the covers, so they started "dancing", too. Danielle giggled and ran out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Jen was peeking through the window, on the ladder. She stepped inside. She gasped. "Dawson! Joey! What are you doing?" Jen demanded. Dawson looked up. Joey turned away, then looked back at Jen. Dawson looked suprised. "Oh, you see, Danielle, God knows where she is, asked us what a kiss meant, and to show her a long one. And, well, we showed her." Dawson explained cautiosly. "And, you see, Jen, I think I'm in love with Joey already. I think I always was. I just didn't express it." Jen shook her head, furious. "I'm outta here if I'm not wanted with FRICKING Dawson." Jen climbed out the window. Joey ran her hands against Dawson's face. They started kissing again. Joey's baggy shirt slipped over her head. Dawson paused, and took off his shirt. They started kissing again. Dawson ran his hands over Joey's breasts, and Joey stuck her hands inside Dawson's jeans. Joey pulled her lips away from his. "I could go on forever." she whispered. Dawson ran his hands over her breasts again, and then ran his hands down her stomach. They kissed a bit more, and Joey reached for her shirt. Just then......... (besides all that Terrence, Janice, Dianne, Joeljeremy, and Kristin crap) | |
| Janice, Dianne, Joel, Jeremy, Kristi, and Patrick ran into the room. "You STUPIDS!" screamed Jeremy. "Did you honestly think we would stay out of the story?" laughed Patrick. "And your story is much much worse than ours," continued Kristi. Janice said nothing but pulled out a little remote control thing. She pressed a button and purple lightening zapped out of it and zapped Joey and Dawson who turned into weird aliens who looked like jellyfish and spoke alien language. "Jyuoredjebomhdycropjjoqvempuaizypqygomodjgotdp?" whined Joey. "Uainopvjkemovyofampybymmarrjepqusymododjareqodissodyfpagivljyr?" whined Dawson. "Ha ha," said Joel sarcastically, "that was very funny." "Well now lets get on with our mission," said Dianne but everyone was watching Joey and Dawson. "Ryzzogryvempgivlepzyedpryvemlodd," said Joey. "Pjepadtohjpryvemlodd," mused Dawson. Suddenly they drew themselves close to one another and tried to kiss eack other. Everyone laughed out loud and moved on. | |
| "kjhkasjdykwbk" Joey cried by his tone it was obvious something was wrong. One of his slithery entrails pointed to the distant hill above it rode horses and knights. Everyone stood up gazing at the sight, they were jarred back to reality when an arrow pierced through the sky and hit the ground next to them. They turned to flee. Janice whimpered " Why is this happening? why is this happening?" Janice repeated to her slef over and over, each time sounding more histerical. They scrambeled into the woods everyone going there seperate ways not knowing the danger they will face, not knowing just how dangerous. The elder told them they should stay together and all would be well- now there is no hope. The knights neared the meeting places well deserted by the kids. The leader smiled, he beckoned for his men to come near, on the ground lay the remote controll, he quickly clicked it and up came a hideous monster. It Slowy stretched to its true hight nearly as tall as the trees, Salvia dribbled from its mouth onto its reptillain skin. Scars traced its back all the way up, Its beady eyes narrowed on the leader and it just stared. "Go! find the children now away with you" the leader growled. The monster bellowed a reply that shock the earth and he slowly and steadily marched off into the woods, where the children lay. | |
| The great reptillian monster gobbled up the first things it came upon which were the jellyfishes formerly known as Joey and Dawson. Unfortunately for the big lizard Joey and Dawson had been transformed into extremely deadly Portuguese Man of War jellyfishes. The scaley goliath convulsed violently and then collapsed dead on the sand. "Aaw! 'Tain't worth it!" the leader spat and led his men away. When all was quiet, Janice, Jeremy, Patrick, Joel and Kristi gathered in a clearing in the woods. "Now, where were we?" Janice asked. "We were about to rescue Terence from satan's evil clutches." Joel reminded her. "Ah yes, but in order to do that we must | |
| The knight, since he was a weak and wimpy coward, quickly pressed another button on the romote control. Now, a bright shiney rainbow shot out of the ground and showered them with hundreds of skittles. But the remote control was an evil one, not like the good ones that littered the north end of the woods. As soon as the skittles came into contact with the armor of the knight the burned a hole, and kept on burning. Soon the knight bore a sticking resemblence to a bunch of swiss cheese. As the skittles stopped pouring the remaining knights, the ones who did not faint with the excrusiating pain they were feeling, decided to destroy the remote control once and for all. They all took their holey swords, holeyy from the skittles, and stuck the remote control. | |
| The knight, since he was a weak and wimpy coward, quickly pressed another button on the romote control. Now, a bright shiney rainbow shot out of the ground and showered them with hundreds of skittles. But the remote control was an evil one, not like the good ones that littered the north end of the woods. As soon as the skittles came into contact with the armor of the knight the burned a hole, and kept on burning. Soon the knight bore a sticking resemblence to a bunch of swiss cheese. As the skittles stopped pouring the remaining knights, the ones who did not faint with the excrusiating pain they were feeling, decided to destroy the remote control once and for all. They all took their holey swords, holeyy from the skittles, and stuck the remote control. | |
| But their holey swords proved useless against the indestructable evil remote control. All the poking the beleaguered knights had done only served to push more buttons. They were quickly beset with a dozen horrors. The very ground they stood on became a great pool of superglue and the knights were all stuck fast. Out of the woods appeared Carrot Top and they were forced to watch him perform. The knights writhed in agony. Then the Spice Girls appeared behind them and began to sing and dance around them. One knight screamed and pointed to the sky where on a giant movie screen Titanic was playing. The horrors continued. Acid rain burned their skin. Giant tornadoes hurled mobile homes at them. Earthquakes, swarms of scorpions, Howard Stern. One by one the knights fell dead in the superglue. It was hopeless, no one could save them now. | |