Bananas in Springtime

Chapter 3

The Story The Authors

The three beings were all white with large heads built like a flying saucer. They had eyes of a sort, V-shaped with changing colors; from yellow to red to black. Malcolm

With a start, Janice realized that they were being met by diplomats for outer space and half of them were naked, and Kristi (one of the naked ones) was covered in dino vomit. So they - Janice, Jeremy, Joel, and Kristi - decided to Carolyn

not worry about it because at this point, they just didn't care. After what they'd just been through (not to mention everything else they'd been through), the Queen of England could have shown up on the beach and they wouldn't have been able to care less. Meanwhile, the alien diplomats, seeing that the humans they had chanced upon seemed to require medical attention, offered to help them. Janice, Jeremy, Joel and Kristi decided to accept the offer. After all, there was no one else in sight to help them and how could things possibly get any worse than they already were? So they allowed the alien diplomats to escort them back to their spacecraft. However, standing on the bluff overlooking the beach was Colnel Dick Blowhard of the U.S. Marines. He mistakenly assumed that the aliens were of hostile intent and were kidnapping four citizens of Earth. He immediately radioed headquarters and troops were dispatched to the area. Meanwhile, inside the space ship, the diplomats dressed the wounds of Janice, Joel, Jeremy and Kristi and gave them clean clothes to wear. The diplomats explained that they had come to share their advanced technology in exchange for leather thongs and apple pies. Jeremy assured the diplomats that all the nations of the world would surely welcome the peaceful aliens with open arms. Suddenly there was an explosion outside the ship, they were being fired upon. Before Janice or Jeremy could do anything about it, the aliens flew the space ship out of the Earth's atmosphere and just beyond the moon where their fleet of warships was waiting. The diplomats told their generals that earthling's were hostile and that they'd fired at the alien's ship. This act of violence would not be tolerated by the aliens so they fired at the Earth and blew it to bits. Janice pinched herself to see if she was dreaming but SHE WAS NOT! Nor was anyone else. Sandy R

Then Kristi remebbered, that a long time ago - it seemed a lifetime - Dianne had said that they were not on Earth. That was just it! That hadn't been earth that the aliens had blown to bits! She told them this and assured them that the real earth was very nice. But the aliens didn't know where the real Earth was - nor did anyone else! Carolyn

Lisa looked at her work. She sighed. She hated being a writer, but it was the only thing she could do for a living. Her mom, also known as 'Marmie', or, as her sister she supported, 'June', her name stepped into the room. "Hi, Lisa!" Marmie greeted her."So, how's your novel going?" Marmie hugged her. Lisa grunted. "Horrible. Pitful. I hate writing!" Lisa complained. Marmie gave her a long, hard look. "I never knew you hated writing! Well, Lisa, that's too bad! Because you have to!" Marmie took hold of Lisa's wrist and glared at her. Marmie clenched her teeth. "Marmie, let go of me." Lisa said calmly. "I won't let go of you until you start writing again." Marmie said through clenched teeth. Lisa shook her head. The door creaked from outside. Marmie looked worried. "Hi, Leese! It's Helen!" Helen called. Marmie raced to the back door, but she saw a wild turkey. Marmie screamed in fright at the sight of the wild turkey. Lisa peeked out the back door. She faced Helen. "If there's one thing Marmie's afraid of," Lisa paused."It's wild turkeys." MJ

Why, do you suppose Marmie is afraid of turkeys. One version of the story dates back to the Thanksgiving of '72. It was during that year that Marmie was slaving away in the Perdue Chicken Processing Plant. After nearly 20 years of service, Marmie had advanced to the position of Head Plucker. She had attained the same position as her mom, Mother Plucker. Or in some circles she's known as the Mother of All Pluckers. Now, one might suppose that Marmie's title would indicate that she was in charge of that part of the plant that plucked the little, tender, oh so soft, feathers off the poor, frightened chickens. Not at all. Her title is a literal one...she pulls/plucks the heads off the chickens. Well, as was stated, Marmie had been doing this for quite some time and was always richly praised but never rewarded for her skills and loyalty. In 1972 the company announced that it would give bonuses to all employees with lots of years of service. "At last!" Marmie thought, "I'll get some extra money to be able to afford a 25 pound Honey Baked Ham for the family instead of one of the fuckin', plucked chickens. Well the big day came around and Marmie, all pride and grins, was called up to the front of the room by none other than the HMPIC (Head mother plucker in charge). She maintained her appearance despite the fact that she was tum pluckered out. When she got up there the HMPIC proceeded to hand her a 25 pound Butterball Turkey (sans feathers). You could say that she got the bird. Upon seeing the blob of butterball she let out such a piercing scream...not unlike the sound of a million chickens being plucked at the same time. And that, dear reader, is the reason Marmie reacts so badly to the sight of a turkey. Gary Teller

The Story	The Authors
The three beings were all white with large heads built like a flying saucer. They had eyes of a sort, V-shaped with changing colors; from yellow to red to black.	Malcolm
With a start, Janice realized that they were being met by diplomats for outer space and half of them were naked, and Kristi (one of the naked ones) was covered in dino vomit. So they - Janice, Jeremy, Joel, and Kristi - decided to	Carolyn
not worry about it because at this point, they just didn't care. After what they'd just been through (not to mention everything else they'd been through), the Queen of England could have shown up on the beach and they wouldn't have been able to care less. Meanwhile, the alien diplomats, seeing that the humans they had chanced upon seemed to require medical attention, offered to help them. Janice, Jeremy, Joel and Kristi decided to accept the offer. After all, there was no one else in sight to help them and how could things possibly get any worse than they already were? So they allowed the alien diplomats to escort them back to their spacecraft. However, standing on the bluff overlooking the beach was Colnel Dick Blowhard of the U.S. Marines. He mistakenly assumed that the aliens were of hostile intent and were kidnapping four citizens of Earth. He immediately radioed headquarters and troops were dispatched to the area. Meanwhile, inside the space ship, the diplomats dressed the wounds of Janice, Joel, Jeremy and Kristi and gave them clean clothes to wear. The diplomats explained that they had come to share their advanced technology in exchange for leather thongs and apple pies. Jeremy assured the diplomats that all the nations of the world would surely welcome the peaceful aliens with open arms. Suddenly there was an explosion outside the ship, they were being fired upon. Before Janice or Jeremy could do anything about it, the aliens flew the space ship out of the Earth's atmosphere and just beyond the moon where their fleet of warships was waiting. The diplomats told their generals that earthling's were hostile and that they'd fired at the alien's ship. This act of violence would not be tolerated by the aliens so they fired at the Earth and blew it to bits. Janice pinched herself to see if she was dreaming but SHE WAS NOT! Nor was anyone else.	Sandy R
Then Kristi remebbered, that a long time ago - it seemed a lifetime - Dianne had said that they were not on Earth. That was just it! That hadn't been earth that the aliens had blown to bits! She told them this and assured them that the real earth was very nice. But the aliens didn't know where the real Earth was - nor did anyone else!	Carolyn
Lisa looked at her work. She sighed. She hated being a writer, but it was the only thing she could do for a living. Her mom, also known as 'Marmie', or, as her sister she supported, 'June', her name stepped into the room. "Hi, Lisa!" Marmie greeted her."So, how's your novel going?" Marmie hugged her. Lisa grunted. "Horrible. Pitful. I hate writing!" Lisa complained. Marmie gave her a long, hard look. "I never knew you hated writing! Well, Lisa, that's too bad! Because you have to!" Marmie took hold of Lisa's wrist and glared at her. Marmie clenched her teeth. "Marmie, let go of me." Lisa said calmly. "I won't let go of you until you start writing again." Marmie said through clenched teeth. Lisa shook her head. The door creaked from outside. Marmie looked worried. "Hi, Leese! It's Helen!" Helen called. Marmie raced to the back door, but she saw a wild turkey. Marmie screamed in fright at the sight of the wild turkey. Lisa peeked out the back door. She faced Helen. "If there's one thing Marmie's afraid of," Lisa paused."It's wild turkeys."	MJ
Why, do you suppose Marmie is afraid of turkeys. One version of the story dates back to the Thanksgiving of '72. It was during that year that Marmie was slaving away in the Perdue Chicken Processing Plant. After nearly 20 years of service, Marmie had advanced to the position of Head Plucker. She had attained the same position as her mom, Mother Plucker. Or in some circles she's known as the Mother of All Pluckers. Now, one might suppose that Marmie's title would indicate that she was in charge of that part of the plant that plucked the little, tender, oh so soft, feathers off the poor, frightened chickens. Not at all. Her title is a literal one...she pulls/plucks the heads off the chickens. Well, as was stated, Marmie had been doing this for quite some time and was always richly praised but never rewarded for her skills and loyalty. In 1972 the company announced that it would give bonuses to all employees with lots of years of service. "At last!" Marmie thought, "I'll get some extra money to be able to afford a 25 pound Honey Baked Ham for the family instead of one of the fuckin', plucked chickens. Well the big day came around and Marmie, all pride and grins, was called up to the front of the room by none other than the HMPIC (Head mother plucker in charge). She maintained her appearance despite the fact that she was tum pluckered out. When she got up there the HMPIC proceeded to hand her a 25 pound Butterball Turkey (sans feathers). You could say that she got the bird. Upon seeing the blob of butterball she let out such a piercing scream...not unlike the sound of a million chickens being plucked at the same time. And that, dear reader, is the reason Marmie reacts so badly to the sight of a turkey.	Gary Teller

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