Chapter 4
| The Story | The Authors |
|---|---|
| So I decided to go down to the local pub to pick up a hooker.... | |
| But to my surprize, I only found a poor old, hairless chihuahua sitting at the bar. I wasn't sure what I should do. | |
| so I got down off the bar stool and asked anyone if they had seen someone with the chihuahua,to my surprise the chihuahua turned and spoke to me. | |
| "buenas dias amigo, comos esta?", unfortunately I could't speak Spanish so I got out my phrase book. "muy bien, gracias, como se llama", "me llamo Pedro el perro", at this point my Spanish dried up, I made a few frantic hand signals at the dog who just looked at me and said "Caramba!". I got up and walked out of the bar "adios, muchacho" said the dog as I left. | |
| I walked slowly down the street, dust billowing behind my heels following closely as might the dog himself. "I never needed a best friend anyway" I muttered to my self. "A mut is a mut". I needed a drink. My throat was parched and my shorts were starched. "Chaffing thighs?" she asked? I glanced up. There she stood, leaning against the lamp post, ankles crossed just below where the bottom of her peddle pushers revealed naked flesh. "Yeah", I said. "Know where I can get some talc powder?" She perked up, "Mister, you have come to the right place. Why not come on in here, and I'll fix you right up." We entered the musty dark bar. It was then when it all came flooding back as a tired but powerful force, knocking me against the wall - the smells, the sounds, the moment in time. "Pedro el perro"! Oh where, oh where had my little dog gone? | |
| I reeled against the bar, head swimming with thoughts random and foreign to me. I tried to focus on the peddle pushing pants disappearing around the corner at the other end of the room. I pushed myself up into an upright position, bracing myself for the long walk. Step by step, inch by inch, slowly I walked the length of that bar. Then the shadow appeared. It was obvious that someone was coming around the corner where miss peddle pusher had disappeared. The shadow had three legs. I rubbed my eyes and counted again. There was no doubt. The floor creaked with each step as he neared the corner. My hair stood on end, sweat dripping from the end of my nose, my hand twitching near the handle of my six shooter. Then he appeared. it was Pedro! But my former compadre, my amigo, my amore now had the glint of anger in his eyes. He said, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!" | |
| "You seek the man who shot your paw?" Nicole questioned the dog. She was puzzled at the sudden appearance of the mutt in the Ultimate Fighting Ring, and even more puzzled by the fact that the dog could talk. "Yes," replied the dog, "I would very much like to get revenge." "I understand," Nicole answered. "But your search is heading in the wrong direction." "Oh really?" The dog was very interested now...maybe she could lead him in the right direction! "You see," Nicole continued, "you shouldn't be searching for a man. You seek a woman!" As the conversation had continued, Nicole had realized that this was the very dog she had shot the previous month for digging in her garbage. "It was me who shot you, you little maggot!" The dog snarled and leaped at Nicole's throat, but she was too quick and expected the attack. She rolled under the airborne dog while unstrapping the 12 guage pump action shotgun on her back. "This time I'll get more than your paw!" As the dog turned back toward her, his head exploded into a pink cloud as Nicole shot him in the face from point blank range. She pumped more slugs into the mutt's lifeless body until she ran out of shells. She would have to stop by Farm & Fleet the next day, she realized, and get more. She spit on the corpse and walked away. | |
| "Damn, you shot my dog." Don Don was so shocked he could only stare at Nicole in wonder. "Yeah," Nicole confirmed, "I guess I did. Sorry, didn't realize he was yours. If it makes you feel better, he had it coming. Hey, is that a .44 Magnum?" she questioned, pointing to the huge gun on Don Don's belt. "Uh, yeah" he answered stupidly. "Cool," she said. "I have one just like it at home." "Is that a fact?" Don Don was overcoming his initial shock at the recent bloodshed but couldn't decide if he should shoot this woman or ask her on a date. | |
| He didn't get a chance to find out. "Wanna go out with me this Saturday?" Nicole asked, winking at Don Don. "I'm not doin' anythin'." "Well, OK, sure, I guess so, if I'm not doin' anythin' else." "I'm sure you won't be," Nicole purred, as she slunk away into the dark green forest. | |
| He didn't get a chance to find out. "Wanna go out with me this Saturday?" Nicole asked, winking at Don Don. "I'm not doin' anythin'." "Well, OK, sure, I guess so, if I'm not doin' anythin' else." "I'm sure you won't be," Nicole purred, as she slunk away into the dark green forest. | |
| Upon entering the forest, Nicole turned for in the distance she could hear the breaking of what sounded like small twigs, she could only make the shape of the lumbering giant....was...it....O.J.? | |
| or could it be the elusive Big Foot? | |
| The big foot liked me oh so well. We became friends till the end. | |
| We romped and played till the sun went down. We went to his house and then we went out on the town. The people screamed and shouted, "Help, big foots out on the town!" | |
| As the towspeople screamed we laughed. We seemed to be the only people that realised that this was all a big prank. It WAS April first after all. | |
| It was at that young age that I realized, the art of illusion is not the manipulation of things, but the manipulation of minds. I think it was then that I, unwittingly, chose the dark path. Knowledge, knowledge of the foolishness of the masses, has made me powerful, and power has made me evil. It seems ironic that such a prank, an idea bred of the innocence of of childhood, could have made me the devil I am today. | |
| But how could I, knowing this, continue on my path. Continue with such powerful knowledge. The ability to bend minds at will. The ability to mold young minds with the knowledge that all is for nought. For tomorrow is yesterday and yesterday is but a dream and dreams fade faster than the ephemeral existance in which we hide. | |
| But, on a brighter note.... Nicole finally found the perfect man, she thought. He's intelligent, funny, and available. "At least he SAYS he's available." You see, she met Tom on the internet. | |
| Then she remembered the story she'd heard about the girl from Kentucky who had flown to Louisiana to meet a man she'd met on the internet. He was a doctor, even. She'd even checked out his credentials and everything he'd told her was true. But she still ended up dead on a dirt road in rural east Texas. | |
| On the way to Louisiana the girl from Kentucky stopped for a an iced coffee at a diner on route 70. A young man asked if the seat next to her was taken, and if he could join her. Since the man had an English accent, which fascinated her, she let him sit down. While they drank coffee, and each ate a jelly donut, they took turns telling about their lives. Some of the things the woman said was true, and other things were embellished. The handsome young man convinced th4ee girl from Kentucky to let him accompany her. The next morning she was front page news in the Lone Star Times. | |
| As it turned out, the mysterious man she had just made a traveling partner, was actually a newspaper reporter searching for a female serial killer nick-named "The Embellisher". The girl had no idea what she was getting herself into when she was only trying to make her life sound more interesting by telling a few white but obvious lies about herself. She bore a remarkable resemblance to the alleged killer whom she had never even heard of before in her life! The handsome young man felt bad that he had to lie to her but was glad that a dangerous criminal like herself was finally being dealt with. As he watched her being thrust into the police car he couldn't help but feel a sense of pride in himself but sadness too. You see, he had fallen for her. | |
| Could it be that a woman of her charms and accomplishments had really committed the heinous crimes attributed to her. Or was it possible that the killer was a female impersonator. | |
| No it is not possible that the killer is a female impersonator because the female serial killer did not find it necessary to impersonate another when her own person was so extremely intelligent and capable of many much more devious deeds. | |
| She sued for liquidated damages. An amount, stipulated in the contract, that the parties to a contract believe to be a reasonable estimation of the damages that will occur in a breach. Her rights were reffered to as "assignments" In a bilateral contract, the two parties ivolved had corresponding rights. The transfer of rights to a third patry is known as an assignment.She made a mistake. In contract law a mistake may be a defense to the enforement of a contract. Genarally courts didtinquish between mistakes in judgement of market value or conditions or mistakes as to law. | |
| She was had. She was had bad. Under the statue of Fraud, arequirement that certain things must be in writing, to protect innocent parties by requiring written evidence of agreements concerning important transactions. Such as Contracts involving interests in land. Contracts that by their own admiision cannot be performed wtin one year, collaterall contracts, such as promides to answer for the debt of another, and contracts for the sale of goods over $500. | |
| She new now that she was in deep trouble... | |
| The girl after reading this story was somewhat confused. You see Charles Gray had to go and completely ruin the story by putting a bunch of legal crap into it. The details he added were completely confusing and also completely irrelevant to the story. | |
| Okay, since that person had to mess up the story whad'ya say we start a new one? | |
| Sounds good to me! | |