The Figs of May - Carpe Testicularum

Chapter 5

The Story The Authors

Matthew thrashed beneath the restraints of the hospital gurney trying to grab at the small shriveled bit of flesh that Crink waved gleefully before his still
semiconscious eyes. The effects of the Morphine and aenesthetic clogging his speech centers so that all he could manage in his anger and agony was a frustrated gurgle. "Give it back, you asshole! he wanted to scream. His meaty sausage fingers clenching the much bleached bedclothes in rage. But all that came out was muted strangled sound rather like a wet goose fart.
Jeremy Crink danced merrily around the bed waving the thing dangling in his hand with increasing agitation. "What'll you give me for it, Big boy? What'll you give?" and he roared off in a spasm of evil laughter.
Deep in his groggy brain Matthew tried to calculate anything and everything he had of any value. a complete set of "Flaming Carrot" comics in mint condition. A lock of Bon Scott's pubic hair. The original video tapes of Pamela Lee and Tommy. (not that he'd need them anyway if he couldn't make a deal with Crink.)A pint of Keith Richards' unfiltered blood from a tranfusion/exchange in Switzerland in 1971. He had to have something that Crink wanted.
""Gurgle gurgle schzaarrgh!" he cried desperately sending Jeremy into deeper crippling spasms of laughter.
Stifling a still palpable giggle Jeremy leaned once more over Matthew's raging and restrained body. "Well, Well, me laddie (and I do use the term loosely) it looks like we can't come to an agreement." Hickey lurched desperatley against the leather straps. " I guess there's only one thing left for me to do then," said Crink with a truly malicious grin. And leaning in extremely close to Hickey's reddened raging face he waggled the little fleshy bit once more and promptly popped it into his mouth, chewed it a bit, and swallowed.
Hickey felt all the life in him drain out like a great turd being flushed. His future spread out before him in a great empty and unfufillable yearning. At nineteen his life (and his as yet properly begun sex life) had been hopelessly snuffed out before his eyes. And He began to weep unconsolably.
It was at this point that the nurse, one Nurse Doetzer, entered the room to check on Hickey's bedpan. "Crink!" she barked, "Stop bothering the patient, And For Godsakes leave his breakfast Alone! He needs all the protein he can get to build his blood supply back up and he won't get that if you keep coming in here and gobbling up his eggs and sausage like that. If you're so damn hungry, then go to the cafeteria and eat. So get out of here NOW! while I change his dressings. If this transplant doesn't take I'm going to be the first one to suggest you as the replacement donor."
At that Crink slunk out of the room. Lanark

Crink slunk into a broom closet on the left, and waited. He had an appointment in 5 minutes, and where better to wait than here. Suddenly, from behind, he heard a noise. Jumping around to face whoever was sneaking up behind him, he came face to face with charley

a naked dog. frog

the nurse, however this time she was mad. "That's it", she screamed and she tore his clothes off of his body, while shredding her own. He could only stare at the breasts which hung off of her body. M.G.

the nurse, however this time she was mad. "That's it", she screamed and she tore his clothes off of his body, while shredding her own. He could only stare at the breasts which hung off of her body. Grabbing her buttocks with his hands, he pulled her tight to him. M.G.

At least he tried to. His hand passed through her body and he felt nothing there. He squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them again she was gone. "Goddamn hallucinations!" he said to himself. "I thought we weren't going to do this anymore!" He shouted and shook his fist at the ceiling. He felt his heart begin to race as he anticipated another flashback episode. cuddles

Then he bought a beer aaa

He thought it was safe to drink beer in his closet, boy was he wrong. He quickly realized that his beer was too hot, so he decided to throw it away. But he didn't know he was in a closet. So he threw it in front of him, and the bottle went back on him and knocked him out. John Edwards

The Story	The Authors
Matthew thrashed beneath the restraints of the hospital gurney trying to grab at the small shriveled bit of flesh that Crink waved gleefully before his still semiconscious eyes. The effects of the Morphine and aenesthetic clogging his speech centers so that all he could manage in his anger and agony was a frustrated gurgle. "Give it back, you asshole! he wanted to scream. His meaty sausage fingers clenching the much bleached bedclothes in rage. But all that came out was muted strangled sound rather like a wet goose fart. Jeremy Crink danced merrily around the bed waving the thing dangling in his hand with increasing agitation. "What'll you give me for it, Big boy? What'll you give?" and he roared off in a spasm of evil laughter. Deep in his groggy brain Matthew tried to calculate anything and everything he had of any value. a complete set of "Flaming Carrot" comics in mint condition. A lock of Bon Scott's pubic hair. The original video tapes of Pamela Lee and Tommy. (not that he'd need them anyway if he couldn't make a deal with Crink.)A pint of Keith Richards' unfiltered blood from a tranfusion/exchange in Switzerland in 1971. He had to have something that Crink wanted. ""Gurgle gurgle schzaarrgh!" he cried desperately sending Jeremy into deeper crippling spasms of laughter. Stifling a still palpable giggle Jeremy leaned once more over Matthew's raging and restrained body. "Well, Well, me laddie (and I do use the term loosely) it looks like we can't come to an agreement." Hickey lurched desperatley against the leather straps. " I guess there's only one thing left for me to do then," said Crink with a truly malicious grin. And leaning in extremely close to Hickey's reddened raging face he waggled the little fleshy bit once more and promptly popped it into his mouth, chewed it a bit, and swallowed. Hickey felt all the life in him drain out like a great turd being flushed. His future spread out before him in a great empty and unfufillable yearning. At nineteen his life (and his as yet properly begun sex life) had been hopelessly snuffed out before his eyes. And He began to weep unconsolably. It was at this point that the nurse, one Nurse Doetzer, entered the room to check on Hickey's bedpan. "Crink!" she barked, "Stop bothering the patient, And For Godsakes leave his breakfast Alone! He needs all the protein he can get to build his blood supply back up and he won't get that if you keep coming in here and gobbling up his eggs and sausage like that. If you're so damn hungry, then go to the cafeteria and eat. So get out of here NOW! while I change his dressings. If this transplant doesn't take I'm going to be the first one to suggest you as the replacement donor." At that Crink slunk out of the room.	Lanark
Crink slunk into a broom closet on the left, and waited. He had an appointment in 5 minutes, and where better to wait than here. Suddenly, from behind, he heard a noise. Jumping around to face whoever was sneaking up behind him, he came face to face with	charley
a naked dog.	frog
the nurse, however this time she was mad. "That's it", she screamed and she tore his clothes off of his body, while shredding her own. He could only stare at the breasts which hung off of her body.	M.G.
the nurse, however this time she was mad. "That's it", she screamed and she tore his clothes off of his body, while shredding her own. He could only stare at the breasts which hung off of her body. Grabbing her buttocks with his hands, he pulled her tight to him.	M.G.
At least he tried to. His hand passed through her body and he felt nothing there. He squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them again she was gone. "Goddamn hallucinations!" he said to himself. "I thought we weren't going to do this anymore!" He shouted and shook his fist at the ceiling. He felt his heart begin to race as he anticipated another flashback episode.	cuddles
Then he bought a beer	aaa
He thought it was safe to drink beer in his closet, boy was he wrong. He quickly realized that his beer was too hot, so he decided to throw it away. But he didn't know he was in a closet. So he threw it in front of him, and the bottle went back on him and knocked him out.	John Edwards

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