|The Story||The Authors|
Well shuck my corn and polish my shoes
Said Things One and Two.
|Upon reaching the entrance of the cave, Anita produced a plane ticket from her coat pocket. "Here," she said, "this will get you to New York." Roger thanked her profusely, then asked, "But aren't you coming with me, Anita? Certainly I cannot leave you behind knowing you are alone, here, in the mercy of the wretched!" He screwed up his face in pain, ala William Shatner. "Go now," whispered Anita, and she turned and walked slowly away.|
|Anita suddenly whirled about and shouted "What do you MEAN, you cannot leave my BEHIND???!!! You sick and sodden BASTARD! I always knew there was a slimy, kinky, dirty sexual deviant behind those glassy eyes!"|
|"Oh great" said Roger, "Anita, I meant that I couldn't leave you in this cave! It has nothing to do with your behind!" But Anita was gone. Roger sighed and started to make his way to the New York City Dump where he could get rid of the evil remote control. Anita would have to wait untill later.|
|As he walked he could hear the sound of music playing off in the distance. He soon recognized the smooth licks of his favorite band "Henry Hyde and the House Managers" wailing away. He smiled and wondered where the music was coming from. Hoping he would happen upon a place to cool his heels and enjoy a refreshing cold beer, he picked up his pace. It was only a matter of time now for that damm remote control.|
|He thought to himself in agony, "will i ever score?"|
|They said if I get the remote control to the dump on time I would get 322 points. That would be almost enough to win. Yeehaw! I'm on my way. And off he went, visions of heroism in his head.|
|Or was that visions of heroin in his head? Roger was confused. Here he was back in New York yet he couldn't remember how he'd gotten here. He felt miserable and alone and he couldn't remember where his apartment was. He thought of Anita. He somehow knew that she would be able to help him but he didn't know where to find her. He figured it probably was visions of heroin in his head so he thought he'd better score some. Unfortunately he had no money. He didn't have anything of value to sell so he decided to steal some money from a convenience store. After all, he still had the gun tucked into his belt.|
"OH no you don't!" said Thing ONe and Thing Two.
And buying drugs
Is just as bad
As those awful thugs
Who turn this story
And ruin it
And break our necks!"
"All right all right" said Roger. He resumed walking towards the New York City Dump.