|The Story||The Authors|
|Roger gave a peek over the edge. The bottom was lost in darkness.
He looked across the gaping yaw. Too far to jump. Picking up a rock
he threw it over the side. A wait. A longer wait. A teeny splash
like the echo of a goose farting on its way to Florida. Roger slumped
against the chamber wall. "This sucks." he grumbled to himself. He
was hungry, he wanted a shower and a shave, he was carrying a loaded
weapon much against his more pacifistic nature and now this.|
"AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!" He let out a cathartic scream.
Giggles arose from below him.
|THEN HE WOKE UP. WHAT WAS THE MEANING OF THE DREAM? HE HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON AND SHRUGGED IT OFF. TAKING A QUICK GLANCE AT THE TIME, HE REALIZED HE ONLY HAD 7 MINUTES UNTIL THE SCHOOL BELL RANG. OH SHIT!!! THIS TIME HE WOULD BE IN SOME REAL TROUBLE FOR BEING LATE -- ONCE AGAIN. BARELY HAVING TIME TO GET DRESSED, HE RIPPED OUTTA THERE AND WAS PEELING TIRES OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY. HE KNEW HE SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE OUT THE NIGHT BEFORE. AND WHO COULD BLAME HIM FOR PARTYING HARD AFTER THE STRESS HE WAS UNDER. KELLY WAS PREGNANT AGAIN. THIS TIME, SHE DIDN'T WANT AN ABORTION. SHE WANTED ROGER TO SUPPORT THE BABY. "WHAT WAS I THINKIN' GOD! I'M STUPID," HE KEPT SAYING TO HIMSELF. DEEP IN THOUGHT ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL: I'M BARELY 18 AND I HAVE TO FACE FATHERHOOD? HEH--GIMME A BREAK. I WANNA LIVE LIFE. KNEW I SHOULDA LEFT HER NAGGING ASS LAST MARKING PERIOD... HE STILL HAD A REEKING ALCOHOL SMELL LINGERING AROUND HIM. WHAT WAS THE DEAL WITH THE KEG PARTIES IN HIS HOMETOWN? HE WONDERED. NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL AND TOO MUCH MUSIC. WELL HE HAD ANOTHER PARTY TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN EXACTLY 3 DAYS. YEP, YEP, THE VALENTINE'S BASH. HE WAS THINKING, "THIS YEAR'S GOING TO BE DIFFERENT. OUT W/THE OLD AND IN W/THE NEW." HE WAS ALREADY PLANNING ON GETTING DENA'S NUMBER FROM ONE OF HIS FRIENDS. SHE WAS A SLEAZE ANYWAY, OR SO THEY SAID. HE JUST WANTED TO HIT IT AND MOVE ON.|
....Said the placard that Thing One and Thing Two held up before his
This was your life
But now that's done
You have a quest
You have a gun
Here's the gorge
That you must cross
So off your ass!
GET OFF! GET OFF!!
Roger moaned. "It's a dead end. There's no way over and it's too deep to go down." Things One and Two roundly cuffed him.
Don't whine to us
Your Blarney, kid it's
Quite well known
That Arne did it.
You've got a pistol
Find the initial
And once again Thing One and Two scampered back into the shadows.
|Roger assessed the situation with a cool eye, he'd have to use his brains to get outta this mess. Like a gunslinger of the old west, he whipped his rumpled fedora from a pocket in his khakis and placed it on his head. He could almost hear the familiar music urging him on as he grabbed his whip from where it hung on his belt and let it crack. The sound echoed about the cavern and Roger Weaver became Indiana Jones. Before him gaped the firey chasm, but far on the other side he could see a ledge leading to an opening in the rock, another tunnel. He had to somehow get across. DUM DA DUM DUM, DUM DA DA, Roger threw back his arm and let the whip fly. DUM DA DUM DA, DUM DA DUM DUM DUM, it gripped and coiled like a snake around a stalatite. DUM DA DUM DUM, he leapt fearlessly into the abyss and swung like Tarzan across the chasm. DUM DUM DA DA, CRACK... Indiana became Roger again and began to helplessly fall towards the churning, burbling lava below.|
|Luckilly, the whip was still in a state of high excitement, and so clung fiercly on to a nearby overhanging ledge. Phew, thought Roger, now dangling by only a thin cord over a seething mass of molten death, that was lucky.|
|As Roger dangled over the seemingly bottomless chasm, wondering how in the hell he was going to get to the other side after foolishly mimicking a Hollywood movie hero, he noticed that carved 6 feet high on the chasm wall were the initials A.S. It was the clue he had been looking for. Roger saw a ledge jutting out from the wall just below the carved initials. He decided to make a try for it.|