|The Story||The Authors|
|Sniff! Sniff! Sniff! Roger felt something wet in his ear. Snort! He opened his eyes and it was daylight. The snout of a large boar-like creature met his gaze. He was suddenly wide awake, woken from a deep slumber by the snorting and sniffing of a herd of wildebeastes that had roamed in and caught him napping. Giraffe meat must have as much tryptophan as Turkey he thought to himself. After stuffing his gord with meat he had found it hard to keep his eyes open and dozed off several yards away from the carcass, which was now being consumed and picked at by very large birds.|
|He lie still while the creature in it's curiousity sniffed and rooted around his being. Prodding, nuzzleing, making little nips at his clothing, the boar tried to decide whether this oddity was another food source. In his course of investigation he again moved toward Roger's face. Fearing a nip out of his cheek Roger found himself having to make a quick decision. A shout or harsh move could have set the animal into an attack mode. But as the creature sniffed toward Roger's face he suddenly turned his face directly toward the creature and made a harsh sniffing noise himself. The boar was surprised at this turn of events. He drew his head back startled but looked keenly at Roger unmoving. Again Roger made a snifing sound as though he too were of the same species. The boar was puzzled by this behavior. Roger glanced out of the corner of his eye to see that the other beasts were meandering off having grabbed what food they could from the scene and dragging it away with them. Only this fellow was staying in close range. Realizing he had momentarily confused the creature, Roger very slowly began to lift his head and shoulders from the ground never breaking eye contact with the boar. Knowing what had saved him up to that moment was not showing fear, he again sniffed in the direction of the creature's snout. His heart was pounding so hard he felt like the animal had to hear it. The boar turned it's head slightly to the side not sure that it wanted to be identified by this strange thing it did not recognize. Roger lifted himself a little further again sniffing in the direction of the creature. The boar again ever so slightly turned his head a little further from Roger's advance.|
|~*~ "Cut!" The director looked at the actor, and the boar, and decided it was all a great big bore. "This will never do!" he exclaimed.|
|"I'm looking for emotion, people." He continued on in this vain for a great deal of time, ending (finally) on his knees in tears.|
|Realizing himself in imminent danger, Roger snapped himself from this cinematographic reverie as a plan began to form in his mind.|
|He sized the boar up. "You're pretty squat there, fella. Fat, too. Stubby legs. I ain't scared a you. And Hell, at least you're not one a them confounded Fictional Five wenches, them busybody womens who don't know when to keep their noses outta a story where they ain't wanted. I drives a man plumb crazy, it do!" He wiped the sweat from his forehead. The boar finished its snuffling and rooting among the stinking rmeains of the giraffe, surveyed Roger with a look of undisguised malice, lowered its head and prepared to charge.|
|For some reason the only thing Roger could think about was the old joke about how do you stop a rhino from charging. Unfortunately, this was neither the time nor the place for that joke, so instead he squared his shoulders and cleared his throat, "Knock, knock," he said.|
The boar paused for a moment looking Roger over suspiciously. It clawed
the earth in front of it restlessly waiting for Him to continue.|
"Umm... I said, "Knoc, Knock" continued Roger nervously.
The boar let loose a steamy snort that Roger interpreted to mean "Who's there?"
Frantically combing through the dented cardboard box labelled Knock-Knock Jokes inb the basement of Roger's
memory, he mananged to emit a weak "Water," |
"Water who?" snorted back the boar with marked impatience. "Water you think that is coming towards us?" he said, pointing toward the stand of trees directly behind the boar. While the boar turned to look, and stood there, dumbly, looking at the absolute nothing that was coming towards them, not getting the joke which had been played on him, and when he turned back to Roger to express his puzzlement, he found, of course, that Roger, that sly trickster, had long since stolen into the undergrowth and fled the scene.