A Symphony unto Oneself

A Symphony unto Oneself

Chapter 7

     The Story The Authors
It was at this moment that Mr. Tickles nimbly boarded the caravel (or was that caramel?) H.M.S. Lollipop.
The orchestra launched into a sumptuous tango as the dwarf launched himself at Li'l Debbie, sliding across the nonpareil-strewn foredeck on his knees and bursting into song.

I ache [sang the dwarf to the siren]
for the touch
of your lips, dear
but much more
for the touch
of your whips, dear
You can raise welts
Like nooooooooooooobody else
As we dance
to the
Mas-o-chism Tan-go!

Li'l Debbie scrutinized him, hands on her leatherclad hips. How dare this little man intrude upon the tightly sealed, vestal certainty of a lead siren's rightful domain... not to mention the effect on the new recruits... especially that music, so barbaric, so primitive, yet so... so... bodily. The dwarf continued his mating-dance, tangoing back and forth across the deck with a mop for a partner, continuing in his shrill peeping soprano voice:

Let our love be a flame
Not an eh-ember
Say it's me
That you want
To dis-me-ember
Blacken my eye
Set fire to my tie
As we dance
to the Mas-ochism Tan-go!

You held my nose, love
In you-or-or left castanet, love
I can feel the pain yet, love
How it throbs and it thrums --

And I en-vy the rose
Th-a-at you held in your teeth, love
With the thorns underneath, love
Sticking into your gums...

Li'l Debbie was wholey unimpressed. She folded her arms and gave an impatient sigh but the diminutive Mr. Tickles sang on. Your heart is as hard as stone or mahogany That's why I'm in such Exquisite agony My soul is on fire It's a-flame with desire Which is why I perspire when we tango! At your command Before you here I stand My heart is in my hand "Eeew!" said the siren It's here that I must be My heart entreats Just hear those savage beats And go put on your cleats and come and trample me! Mr. Tickles was now on his knees, shamelessly grabbing at Li'l Debbie's skirts. cuddles with a nod to Mr. Lehrer

"Take your cigarette
from its holder,
[continued the dwarf, miming the supplication of a love-slave by crawling across the damp deck on all fours]
"And burn your initials
In my shoulder --"

...at which point Li'l Debbie stamped on the poor dwarf's hands, one-two!, and screamed "Enough! Stop! I command you to stop immediately!"
The music stopped.
The dwarf scrambled to his feet.
The scantily clad female review flanking Li'l Debbie clustered up behind her like a batallion of Amazons.
The last pirate's light, flaky exterior and delicious, creamy interior disappeared down the maw of a wizened old shark who had seen too much to even taste what he gobbled anymore.
Silence surrounded them like an intimation of death. Even the gulls were silent. The dwarf regarded the siren shyly, humbly; the siren regarded the dwarf with a sneer of contempt.
And then, and then, there arose, out of the green swells which billowed between the Ignavia and the Lollipop, between the two ships and the long white sandy stretch of Peach Cobbler Beach on the exposed east side of Cupcake Island, there arose, on a chariot of bubbles, scattering the sharks, the crocodiles and the cud-chewing sea-cows, there arose, from the depths of the sea...

...a great and hermeticly sealed bubble. Inside the bubble was an assortment of bright and sweet smelling tropical flowers strewn about the base of a crystal pyramid. The fading days sunlight shining through the showered all who watched it rise from the deep with multicoloured rainbows. Faint orchestral shimmers whispered through the air and good vibes rained down from the bubble. For seated at the very apex of the pyramid sat a long mop topped man in a long and brightly coloured caftan lightly strumming a guitar. The many glass beads that he wore about his neck effervesced with LOVE. He softly and sweetly sang to those gathered before him of a beautiful lost city called Atlantis where everything was groovy. The beautiful vibes that emenated from his person calmed even the most wizened of sharks which allowed itself to drift softly before the bubble with just the merest swishes of its powerful tail. The stranger ended his song and all was calm and still and radiant with Peace, harmony and Good Vibes. Then the stranger spoke.
"Greetings, beautiful creatures! I am Donovan."

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