A Symphony unto Oneself

Chapter 3

The Story The Authors

And with that (the Tooth Bitch all the while chain-smoking, tapping her size 13 feet and sighing with undisguised irritation) Mr. Tickles could take his finger off the Pause button and begin the movie. Philip

Why would he not? The reflection in the monitor confirmed yet another annoying link, the heat and smoke distorting the Bitch's image even further. jon

Why would he not? The reflection in the monitor confirmed yet another annoying link, the heat and smoke distorting the Bitch's image even further. jon

Jake, numb from a sleepless night of hallucinatory abominations, sat back on the folding chair the Tooth Bitch had so thoughtfully provided as the film began to roll... Philip

"Dental Hygiene and You" read the title of the dilapidated black and white film. "Presented by the American Dental Association". This looks pretty harmless, Jake thought and he made himself as comfortable as he could in the folding chair. The film started out showing healthy, smiling all-American high school kids sporting poodle skirts and dungarees eating healthful lunches and chatting cheerfully in their surrealistic cafeteria. The narrator discribed how happy and healthy and perfect the children were all thanks to their impeccable hygiene - brushing and flossing after every meal and eating lots of crunchy fruits and vegetables. But wait! There, in the back corner of the cafeteria sat a lonely disheveled boy. It was quite obvious that he didn't care about dental hygiene. His hair was messy and needed a trim, his shirt was wrinkled and untucked, his shoes were muddy and untied, and he was not smiling even though his lunch plate was filled only with twinkies and ding dongs. The narrator began to discribe how miserable little Johnny's life was because he never flossed or even brushed his teeth. He couldn't get a date to the dance because the girls would never talk to him. Johnny was a masturbator - all because of poor dental hygiene. Jake squirmed in his seat. The story was all to familiar and that little boy looked familiar too. Then the narrator began to describe what other horrible fates awaited the hygienically challenged boy. The film showed pictures of people whose teeth were rotting out of their heads, horrible disfiguring mouth cancers and - worst of all - hairy palms! cuddles

The Tooth Bitch waved her magic wand at Mr. Tickles. "Wake up, Tattoo," she admonished him; "Pause it. Pause it, now! I have to give my little talk." Philip

"Bitch" muttered Mr Tickles again.
"I got ears honeychile, I can hear. Don' think I aint got your numba l'il man. You get yours later. But fuhst I gotta give this one hea' a l'il lecture so's he knows what's up with stuff gon' happen to him.
She turned and put a leering grin into Jake's face. "OK chile, you seen the impohtant part o'da movie. It all downhill f'um there. Madness an' a unhappy death f'um sifflus contracted f'um a Tia-joo-wana ho' 'cuz he dint brush and floss like a good honeychile. He too busy spankin' that l'il ole monkey to attend to propah dental hygiene. His pope beatin' gots in tha way o'his toofbrush. Wastin' all that time yankin' his chain to floss his gums an' aint no right woman gon' touch him 'cuz he gots bad teeth an' haly-toosis too! Soun' like someone you know, now don' it."
Jake nodded weakly.
"Weeeeell now, Hea' we is. The crossroads done been reach. Yo' time is a-comin' an' I'm hea' to delivah on the promise of the Tooth Bitch. If'n you can take proper care of'em, they gots to come out." The Tooth Bitch brandished the dental pliers anew. "The time is nigh and I am gon' take what's mine. Y'all my l'il puppy now. An' 'member this swee'pea, what one man's toofless pain turn into the Tooth Bitch ideal pleasure."
The leering grin by now had spread so wide across the Tooth Bitch's face that it seemed likely that the top of her head was going to fall off. Lanark

and her head did fall off leaving her without a head!! So the headless Tooth Bitch was toothless. What shame!!!!! She was very upset and tryed to cry and instead peed her pants. Poor poor girl. none

The Story	The Authors
And with that (the Tooth Bitch all the while chain-smoking, tapping her size 13 feet and sighing with undisguised irritation) Mr. Tickles could take his finger off the Pause button and begin the movie.	Philip
Why would he not? The reflection in the monitor confirmed yet another annoying link, the heat and smoke distorting the Bitch's image even further.	jon
Why would he not? The reflection in the monitor confirmed yet another annoying link, the heat and smoke distorting the Bitch's image even further.	jon
Jake, numb from a sleepless night of hallucinatory abominations, sat back on the folding chair the Tooth Bitch had so thoughtfully provided as the film began to roll...	Philip
"Dental Hygiene and You" read the title of the dilapidated black and white film. "Presented by the American Dental Association". This looks pretty harmless, Jake thought and he made himself as comfortable as he could in the folding chair. The film started out showing healthy, smiling all-American high school kids sporting poodle skirts and dungarees eating healthful lunches and chatting cheerfully in their surrealistic cafeteria. The narrator discribed how happy and healthy and perfect the children were all thanks to their impeccable hygiene - brushing and flossing after every meal and eating lots of crunchy fruits and vegetables. But wait! There, in the back corner of the cafeteria sat a lonely disheveled boy. It was quite obvious that he didn't care about dental hygiene. His hair was messy and needed a trim, his shirt was wrinkled and untucked, his shoes were muddy and untied, and he was not smiling even though his lunch plate was filled only with twinkies and ding dongs. The narrator began to discribe how miserable little Johnny's life was because he never flossed or even brushed his teeth. He couldn't get a date to the dance because the girls would never talk to him. Johnny was a masturbator - all because of poor dental hygiene. Jake squirmed in his seat. The story was all to familiar and that little boy looked familiar too. Then the narrator began to describe what other horrible fates awaited the hygienically challenged boy. The film showed pictures of people whose teeth were rotting out of their heads, horrible disfiguring mouth cancers and - worst of all - hairy palms!	cuddles
The Tooth Bitch waved her magic wand at Mr. Tickles. "Wake up, Tattoo," she admonished him; "Pause it. Pause it, now! I have to give my little talk."	Philip
"Bitch" muttered Mr Tickles again. "I got ears honeychile, I can hear. Don' think I aint got your numba l'il man. You get yours later. But fuhst I gotta give this one hea' a l'il lecture so's he knows what's up with stuff gon' happen to him. She turned and put a leering grin into Jake's face. "OK chile, you seen the impohtant part o'da movie. It all downhill f'um there. Madness an' a unhappy death f'um sifflus contracted f'um a Tia-joo-wana ho' 'cuz he dint brush and floss like a good honeychile. He too busy spankin' that l'il ole monkey to attend to propah dental hygiene. His pope beatin' gots in tha way o'his toofbrush. Wastin' all that time yankin' his chain to floss his gums an' aint no right woman gon' touch him 'cuz he gots bad teeth an' haly-toosis too! Soun' like someone you know, now don' it." Jake nodded weakly. "Weeeeell now, Hea' we is. The crossroads done been reach. Yo' time is a-comin' an' I'm hea' to delivah on the promise of the Tooth Bitch. If'n you can take proper care of'em, they gots to come out." The Tooth Bitch brandished the dental pliers anew. "The time is nigh and I am gon' take what's mine. Y'all my l'il puppy now. An' 'member this swee'pea, what one man's toofless pain turn into the Tooth Bitch ideal pleasure." The leering grin by now had spread so wide across the Tooth Bitch's face that it seemed likely that the top of her head was going to fall off.	Lanark
and her head did fall off leaving her without a head!! So the headless Tooth Bitch was toothless. What shame!!!!! She was very upset and tryed to cry and instead peed her pants. Poor poor girl.	none

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