A Symphony unto Oneself

A Symphony unto Oneself

Chapter 3

     The Story The Authors
"I give up," said Jake, sadly shaking his head. It was just too much for the poor lad, bound to the soggy bed by stainless tendrils, drifting in and out of these hallucinations, now he was free, now he was in chains again, then free, then bound...If one could only control it, he thought, guide the ebb and flow of these visions with the firm hand of a Skipper at his trusty, seaworthy vessel, why, that would be like possessing the very Secret of Life! But alas, it was not to be. "I really am crazy," he muttered resignedly to no one in particular, punctuating the sentence with an ellipsis of short, shrill, barking laughs. "Come on then, ye lusty and humilating visions! Come all ye imps of the perverse, printer's devils and soul-drinking succubi! Come all ye Rhondas, ye vast porcine Berthas, ye anorexic Kates and Christies and Naomis with your lips of ice! For I give up, I throw myself into your starry collective maw..."
Just then, as if in answer to his typically moronic and overdramatic rant, the air began once more to shimmer and harden into a form. And lo and behold, it was --
Philip
Gilligan. Sweatin' like K.D. Lang at a christian singles dance. Corndog
No, just kidding...it was- Ginger. Sweatin' like Forrest Gump at a mensa meeting. No, just kidding...it was- Mr. Howell. Sweatin' like a queer in a bologna factory. Insatible
No...wrong again -- it was Maryanne.
"Your problem, as I see it, poor dear Jake," she said, sweetly, bending forward to brush the damp hair from his forehead, "has always been one of taste. While having always been the kind to set yourself apart from the crowd, to see yourself as having a Special Purpose in life, from elementary school on you were just like all the other boys. You'd look at Ginger till your eyes popped out of your head, you'd even give Mrs. Howell a second glance because of all her money, but girls like me you'd never even consider. Meanwhile, all the real men knew from they day they were born that it's girls like me -- they quiet, shy types -- who are the ones who really let loose in the sack. Librariennes with the fearless imaginations of geisha girls, as they clichˇ goes..."
Philip
these last words whispered hotly into Jakes's reddening ear. A little butterfly flutter of Maryanne's tongue for a final bit of puncuation. Her hair smelled faintly and arousingly of straw and sun dappled meadows and illicit skinny dipping in local swimmin' holes. The embarassed cough of shared first cigarettes behind distant barns and the musky rut of Chevy pickups at the drive in. Her ample cleavage yawed mere inches from Jake's quivering nose. The blue gingham seemed straining to burst forth with its corn-fed Midwestern bounty. the heady promise of pastoral romps and deliciously sunburned backs hung achingly in the inch or so of heated air that seperated Jake and the floating spectre of Maryanne. Jake strained in his bond. Buford strained likewise in his. With a coy giggle Maryanne leaned even closer to Jake's ear and the breathily whispered, "You've missed out on a lot, Jake, and before I leave you I want to show you what it is." Lanark
"It is... a $85 777 474 856 857 484 763 636.36 DIAMOND!!!!" She gave him the diamond and.., I LUV DIAMONDS
at that moment, Jake decided to quit looking for women to marry and just stay single. Dating was giving him nightmares. And it was very confusing. Now, he thought, if only I could get away from Maryanne and her phony diamond and these disgusting tentacles holding me down, I could start over. He began fantasizing... he could run away, get a job as a bank manager. He had always wanted to be a bank manager. Suddenly, he felt the weight on his chest disappear. He was free! Now it was time to do what he knew must be done. He started towards the door. Then he stopped. Maryanne was beckoning to him. And she had a butcher knife. Carolyn
"Dave its time to prepare dinner" Maryanne said, "The cat is tied down and I have a hankering for wonton". "I hate wonton", thought Jake as he submitted to Maryanne's request and butchered samantha the next door neighbor's pet. After a wonderful dinner, and a bottle of wine Jake began to tell Maryanne of his dreams. sam


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