A Symphony unto Oneself

Chapter 2

The Story The Authors

Jake fell to his knees, sobbing. "Oh, when will this nightmare end?" he cried. Pee Wee grabbed a handful of Jake's hair and pulled him to his feet, forcing him to gaze upon his future self. He was pale and emaciated, and he labored for every breath he took. He was naked except for surgical dressing at his crotch. "What's wrong with Buford? What happened to my dick?" Jake sobbed. Pee Wee shook his head reproachfully. "The Iron Sausage is not a sex toy." Jake fell to his knees once again."Oh God!" he wailed. "How could I have sunk to this lowly state? Oh Great Spirit of Masterbation Future!" Jake pleaded, tugging at Pee Wee's high water slacks. "Are these not shadows of things that might come to be? Or is there nothing I can do to avoid this shameful outcome?" Pee Wee only giggled as only Pee Wee can giggle. The next thing Jake knew, he was tossing and turning in his own bed. When he came to full conciousness, he sat up in bed and gazed about his room. It was only a dream, he sighed. Only a dream! He began to laugh. cuddles

And he didn't stop laughing until he saw the wet spot. Philip

It wasn't where it was supposed to be. He was wearing underwear. Nothing unusual about that. But they were relatively clean and dry, If he had had a nocturnal emission and this all had been a terrible guilty wet dream they should have been soiled. There was the sound of a toilet flushing and Jake's stomach dropped like the excressences that were plummeting through the buildings pipes to join their brethren in the city sewers. His roomate was in Toledo visiting cousins. He supposedly had the apartment to himself. There was the sound of running water. A few brisk strokes of a toothbrush and then bare footsteps down the short hallway to the bathroom. Jake clutched at the sheets and drew them around him as best he could. With a singular mind of its own Buford reared up to its full height in anticipation of the intruder, while the rest of Jake quailed. the nightmare wasn't over. It had only just begun. The door to Jake's room slowly and silently swung open. There she stood in the door, naked and hairy in all the wrong places. The saucer size nipples of her pendulous breasts eagerly pointing to the lines of her belly. It was Rhonda Goldfinkel. She gave Jake a coy look that came out more like a diseased leer. "Well, Tiger, I'm suprised, but it sure looks like Buford (tee hee) is up for another round." and with that she flung herself at the prone and paralyzed Jake. Lanark

Rhonda kissed Buford several times passionatly. Then what? me

Then she stopped to get a pubic hair out of her mouth. cuddles

And then she resumed. "It all began when I was 62 and lived in Bangkok." I could not resist interrupting her. "Oh, come on. You already told me that one about how you've found Anastasia ashes inside an old samovar". "Don't get smart," she said. "This one is about how I sold the Abominable Snowman's fingerprints to Scotland Yard". trupizupe

but i had heard that one too. so there was nothing left to do but bash her over the head with my alarm clock. she uttered some pained exclamation, and then the room became silent. nothing could be heard except for the steady ticking. victory was mine. francois

But even these fantasies and daydreams were not enough to block out the horrible reality from Jake's feverish mind. No matter how much he concentrated on the abominible snowman he couldn't block out the not so gentle scrape of Rhonda's too eager teeth on poor Buford. He began enacting scenes from Driver's Ed movies in his mind. Anything to make Buford calm down. But to no avail. Lanark

Why?, he thought as he reached into his small wollen trousers and pulled out a half rotten cabbage. "I was only begginning!" he exclaimed, for this was the exact point that he became asexual. waylon

"What in Sam Hill is going on?" he gasped. "Someone please tell me, for with all this riotous nonlinearity, I am beginning to suspect I have gone entirely mad."
Rhonda tittered, munching away contentedly on that noxious old Savoy cabbage while keeping ardent Buford tumescent with a series of brusk yanks. Philip "Corrupter of Sensitive Feelings" Welsh

The Story	The Authors
Jake fell to his knees, sobbing. "Oh, when will this nightmare end?" he cried. Pee Wee grabbed a handful of Jake's hair and pulled him to his feet, forcing him to gaze upon his future self. He was pale and emaciated, and he labored for every breath he took. He was naked except for surgical dressing at his crotch. "What's wrong with Buford? What happened to my dick?" Jake sobbed. Pee Wee shook his head reproachfully. "The Iron Sausage is not a sex toy." Jake fell to his knees once again."Oh God!" he wailed. "How could I have sunk to this lowly state? Oh Great Spirit of Masterbation Future!" Jake pleaded, tugging at Pee Wee's high water slacks. "Are these not shadows of things that might come to be? Or is there nothing I can do to avoid this shameful outcome?" Pee Wee only giggled as only Pee Wee can giggle. The next thing Jake knew, he was tossing and turning in his own bed. When he came to full conciousness, he sat up in bed and gazed about his room. It was only a dream, he sighed. Only a dream! He began to laugh.	cuddles
And he didn't stop laughing until he saw the wet spot.	Philip
It wasn't where it was supposed to be. He was wearing underwear. Nothing unusual about that. But they were relatively clean and dry, If he had had a nocturnal emission and this all had been a terrible guilty wet dream they should have been soiled. There was the sound of a toilet flushing and Jake's stomach dropped like the excressences that were plummeting through the buildings pipes to join their brethren in the city sewers. His roomate was in Toledo visiting cousins. He supposedly had the apartment to himself. There was the sound of running water. A few brisk strokes of a toothbrush and then bare footsteps down the short hallway to the bathroom. Jake clutched at the sheets and drew them around him as best he could. With a singular mind of its own Buford reared up to its full height in anticipation of the intruder, while the rest of Jake quailed. the nightmare wasn't over. It had only just begun. The door to Jake's room slowly and silently swung open. There she stood in the door, naked and hairy in all the wrong places. The saucer size nipples of her pendulous breasts eagerly pointing to the lines of her belly. It was Rhonda Goldfinkel. She gave Jake a coy look that came out more like a diseased leer. "Well, Tiger, I'm suprised, but it sure looks like Buford (tee hee) is up for another round." and with that she flung herself at the prone and paralyzed Jake.	Lanark
Rhonda kissed Buford several times passionatly. Then what?	me
Then she stopped to get a pubic hair out of her mouth.	cuddles
And then she resumed. "It all began when I was 62 and lived in Bangkok." I could not resist interrupting her. "Oh, come on. You already told me that one about how you've found Anastasia ashes inside an old samovar". "Don't get smart," she said. "This one is about how I sold the Abominable Snowman's fingerprints to Scotland Yard".	trupizupe
but i had heard that one too. so there was nothing left to do but bash her over the head with my alarm clock. she uttered some pained exclamation, and then the room became silent. nothing could be heard except for the steady ticking. victory was mine.	francois
But even these fantasies and daydreams were not enough to block out the horrible reality from Jake's feverish mind. No matter how much he concentrated on the abominible snowman he couldn't block out the not so gentle scrape of Rhonda's too eager teeth on poor Buford. He began enacting scenes from Driver's Ed movies in his mind. Anything to make Buford calm down. But to no avail.	Lanark
Why?, he thought as he reached into his small wollen trousers and pulled out a half rotten cabbage. "I was only begginning!" he exclaimed, for this was the exact point that he became asexual.	waylon
"What in Sam Hill is going on?" he gasped. "Someone please tell me, for with all this riotous nonlinearity, I am beginning to suspect I have gone entirely mad." Rhonda tittered, munching away contentedly on that noxious old Savoy cabbage while keeping ardent Buford tumescent with a series of brusk yanks.	Philip "Corrupter of Sensitive Feelings" Welsh

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